KaTa-kU-kAtA

Ddaa!

2012-01-22T16:02:00.001+08:00

U know what!?

Best friends are sometimes annoying.
They said and acted differently.
In the end, please do not count on them.

It is reality tho.

No heart feeling!

Fikir.

Dua ribu dua belas

2012-01-02T22:18:00.001+08:00

Salam,

Selamat tahun baru 2012.
My 2011 ended up with almost a week's fever. I guess it could mencuci dosa-dosa lepas ;)
And my 2012 starts with a full list of things to be done and settled.
What an 'exciting' weeks to start with.
Assignments, finals, new classes to teach, new students to spend a year with n loads more.

Yang pasti,
Alhamdulillah ke atas Allah Swt di atas peluang yang diberikan selama ini.
Dan juga sekali lagi peluang diberikan untuk menghadapi ujianNya untuk tahun ini.

Of course, i have decided to be a better person...not for other people but for myself. It's not a small and easy thing to do but i am determined in doing so. Hope Allah could show me the way and assists me along the way. I am sure He will ;)

Maka, dengan ini...dengan azam yang baru, saya ingin tidur awal dan bangun awal pada esok hari.

Selamat malam! (",)

I am wrong.

2011-12-20T22:55:00.001+08:00

Hey u,

I said once that u never get serious with whatever u do with me.
But u have proved me wrong.
I am totally wrong!
Coz u had seriously deleted me from ur picture.
And what's left with me?
Ur memories, our memories.

Missing u a bit tho.

But i guess i was the one who decided that.
And i ought to adhere to that decision of mine.
And face it. Accept it. Let it.

Hope u r happier n happy.

Bye.

Lucky i am

2011-12-16T01:15:00.001+08:00

Yippiee!!! ^_^ Alhamdulillah..

I won a lucky draw!! And i won an Electrolux microwave oven.
It has been two years in a row i won lucky draws at my work place's appreciation nite.

Last year, i won a lucky draw (a hamper) as well as an award- Pensyarah Cemerlang 2010. That was amazing n double happiness.

Before this, i was very unlucky. Takde rezeki i would say. But the first lucky draw i've gotten was a towel. Hahaha... Frust kot masa tu tp i said to myself, okla tu.. Towel is useful apa... The best part is, sampai sekarang towel tu masih ada dalam paper bag yg i received frm that nite... Hehehe that was like...4 years ago kot... ^_^

gembira, gembira juga. Esok ( sbnrnya today) ada 1 ptation to prepare!!! Tp tak siap lagi pun. Even though 8-10mins jek... Tp graded kot!! N it is an individual presentation!!!

So, i better go off to sleep n wake up early. Orrr..... I shud shoot my head.

Nite2 world ~,~

To ponder and to wonder

2011-12-13T20:33:00.001+08:00

Hey yo! Dah lama nak menulis tp tak tertulis2. Bzkah?? Bz mmg bz... Buat2 bz pun ada juga. >.<

Now, i'm in my lecture room in upm. Having a break for 10-15 mins. Grab the chance to update few thoughts.

This lecturer of mine is sooo nice. He is so fatherly..lembut jek bila berkata, tapi takde lah sampai tahap nak mengantuk.

We actually had just resumed our lectures. Before this, we had a 1 month leave coz my lecturer went to perform Hajj. N we are supposed to submit three things that i did mentioned in the previous entry. But he is so kind coz he already postponed it twice. And it wasn't on our request but totally from him. Coz he really thinks that we should have been given more time. I think he feels guilty for leavingp his 'children' without guidance for the whole month to prepare our research proposal.

Tapi the most amazing thing is....we still haven't finish our assignments pun.. Hhmmm... Apa nak jadilah.

My life is so irony. I am teaching n at the same time studying. But to one extent, i did some things that i obviously do not want it to happen in my class. But again, the lecturers here are fine with it coz they do realize that their students are no more kids but grown-ups who have commitments and other responsibilities.

The conclusion is- life is so wonderful to be explored and reflected. Try to make some times and do ponder about it. Tak rugi pun... It's also a matter of muhassabah diri.

K y'all.. Till entry meets entry.
Luv.

U lazy bam bam

2011-11-26T11:27:00.001+08:00

Omg!! It's already near to noon n i have not gotten up frm my bed yet. It is supposed to be a productive day today. Doing laundry...some cleanings...n also cook (if i may n have the mood) hehehe..

Well, wake up leogurl!!! Be productive!!

Jadual 2 minggu

2011-11-24T18:57:00.001+08:00

Can i share something?? May i express and let it be known. It's too heavy to be kept inside. It's my job listsssss.

The whole two weeks should be filled with finishing the assignments given bit by bit. There are 3 article reviews/critiques, 1 assignment, 1 research proposal, 1 final project aka replacing final xm's marks and not to mention - tonnes of works both at workplace n school.

Therefore, this weekend is totally be worshipped to school assignments. Tuesday - Halalan Tayyiban Seminar, Thursday & Friday - OBE Workshop, next Monday - Conference's rehearsal (emceeing job again), Tuesday - submission of research proposal & KTJ's midterm, Wednesday & Thursday - the INCUE Conference, Saturday - graded seminar.

Well... That is basically my schedule at the moment. The day that is not mentioned will be dedicated specially to school assignments...

Sekian, sedikit lega setelah meluahkannya dan mencatatkannya di sini.
Doakan saya segala rahmat dan berkat. Terima kasih!

Escapade to the forest!

2011-11-17T18:51:00.001+08:00

Had fun resting in the forest after such a tiring months and tones of unfinished works. Following my students for their activities was actually a responsibility that i could not say no (coz i doooo wanna follow them). As an advisor, it's a great opportunity to grab...plus with the good timing, i did enjoy it so much!

My students were doing their camping as well as some activities. Luckily it wasn't that deep into the woods.

All in all, i enjoyed it n am happy ^_^

Cudn't help it!!

2011-11-15T23:58:00.001+08:00

Sorry but i just cudn't help it in expressing my relieve!! It was a crazy hell days, weeks, months and years.... And today, it is officially came to its end. Feel soooo relieved but unfortunately, life has to go on. Btw, one of the many is settled.

I never had imagined my situation would be like this. But i do thank Allah. For giving me the chance to breathe in in His world, for letting me to experience life, for teaching me with sooo many lessons and loads more.

I do really, really appreciate all the things that had happened, is happening and will be happening. No matter how hard it is, how challenging it will be... I will be always ready for that moment.

After all, real life could definitely not be "Happily ever after".

You go girl!! ^_^

laalaa lalalalaa laa lalalaa.. (smurfs' lullaby)

2011-11-08T22:55:00.000+08:00

yeehhaaaa!!!

sila refer kepada link ini --> rezeki untukku

entry yang lepas ini aku menceritakan bahawa aku dah pun mem'buat' rumah di tepi pantai.
just would like to share that i am already 'moved' in to the new beach house...
=(

why sad icon??

ohh...it is soooo challenging. to one extent i feel like running away to the farthest place that i could.
but where to? will i be free then? maybe for a while but not for long....

see! entry ni pun aku tulis separuh jalan.. and bersambung now. it eventually took me nearly 2 weeks to complete it.

oh. saya agak penat. tapi saya tetap berpegang kepada pepatah nan satu ini:

bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

sekian.

always

2011-10-27T11:31:00.001+08:00

~ you have always understood me. no one ever does just like you did.
thank you so much. ~

love ya - u know who u are >.<

SO MUCH!

2011-10-25T14:22:00.001+08:00

I JUST HATE THEM NOW!
THEY ARE TOO DEMANDING!
PLEASE HAVE A BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE!

SORRY, BUT IT'S JUST TOO ANNOYING!
COULDN'T CARE LESS FOR THEIR EMOTIONS!

oh wait!

2011-10-24T21:08:00.002+08:00

aku rasa macam nak termuntah jek.
banyak sangat kerja yang mengikut dan menunggu aku.
it's not about procrastination - na ah...
it's just purely works.
this week is supposed to be my mid-semester break...but i do not break at all!!
tiba-tiba kerja office plak berlambak.
by right, the students are having their study leave.
their real exam is coming on the 1st Nov.
i am supposed to enjoy breathing.
i am supposed to mark students' assignments that are really meant to be marked at this time.

oh wait!
what do i do for a living?
i mean my work?
what is my job again?
lecturing.
oh....i am a lecturer!
i nearly forget that.
how could i?
blame the privatization.
blame on the fact that i am among the capable ones to do multi-tasking.
blame it, blame it, blame it....blame....
but i thought i hate multi-tasking..
? ? ?

selfish?

2011-10-17T17:06:00.001+08:00

oh my and my....

today is really a productive Monday. it is very seldom for me to have a productive Monday. coz i really hate Monday..by its nature. well..i'm a normal human being though. but this is not what i would like to talk about. i would like to talk about something else. something about, should i be a selfish person or just be as sincere as i could?

this question always come to my mind recently. it had always but currently it's more often.

i just don't understand how people could not give a damn to something important in a particular situation.

ok, let me give 2 examples; 1 from the career perspective and another 1 from study life perspective.

1) somebody who does not bother to give attention to something that is important to him/her now or in the future. AND then, menyusahkan orang lepas tu when he/she found out that he/she needs it desperately.

2) in studies, do not bother to take any notes or slides given by the lecturers..and bila nak exam or test or whatever, terhegeh2 menyusahkan orang dgn nak meminjam bila orang nak guna.

oh benci sungguh aku bila ada orang2 macam tu di sekeliling aku. minta dijauhi lah aku untuk berkelakuan sedemikian. after all, i have learnt the lessons all this while. common la! kalau budak2 sekolah, aku bleh terima. tapi ni, dah besar panjang dah. tolonglah have some respect and responsibility to yourself. bukannya untuk orang lain, tapi untuk diri sendiri...

tapi one thing that makes me think twice is should i be selfish? i meant by not helping people in need? aku rasa it depends on the condition jugak. if let say i know that that person is not purposely neglecting his/her responsibilty, aku boleh tolong. tapi kalau obviously dia buat2 tak nak amik tahu and bila tiba-tiba benda tu diperlukan, and dia pun terhegeh2 minta tolong...aku rasa aku reluctant kot nak tolong. but still, aku boleh tolong with one condition. if he/she ask me the favor tidak pada waktu yang diperlukan dan dalam keadaan yang sangat kelam kabut and critical.

atau, patutkah aku tidak mengendahkan itu semua dan cuba untuk seikhlas hatiku membantu sedaya yang mungkin? tanpa mengungkit? tanpa mengira? tanpa alasan? mungkin suatu ketika, aku di pihak yang memerlukan bantuan sedemikian rupa?

sigh~

planed - unplanned

2011-10-16T19:50:00.001+08:00

i do need to jot down few things...before i cracked my head doing homework.

my weekend's plan is totally screwed. i have planned well for the past how many days before it. but suddenly, i was given a take home assignment from my lecturer on friday night's lecture. that particular take home assignment should be submitted on tuesday before 5pm. unfortunately, i have to finish it up before tuesday! gosh! why? coz i need to go for an out-station to malacca at 6am on that tuesday. so, i better finish up my assignment by monday night. not to forget, to email him on that night too.

how funny to see that all of us were persuading our lecturer to give us some time out for the due date. yeah la...most of us will not have any class on tuesday...and to come over to upm just to submit our work?? sighh.... some more, got 1 student all the way from muar johor. but, my lecturer was so firm. he gave us options to submit our work.. to email, to scan n email, to use post laju....or by any mean, just get that assignment either in his mail inbox or pigeon hole by 5pm tuesday.

and this assignment is not about writing up answers for questions in an essay form. but rather, calculations required. pening giler otak aku.... to understand it deeper before i could get the correct answer by using the formula given. can't simply add, minus, etc but i need to understand the thing before i could touch the calculator.

so, the moral of the story is nothing that we have planned would definitely be exactly like what we wanted. there might be rain in the middle of the sunny day. it's up to us on how do we solve it or face it. but one thing for sure, it happen for a reason. therefore, we cannot grouse of it. just take it as a challenge and give ur best! Allah maha mengetahui dan maha adil.

go leo! go leo! ^_^

sing-a-pura

2011-10-11T13:02:00.001+08:00

hey ya'll!! wassup? hehehe... this is penangan buhsan tahap cipan...walaupun aku tak sepatutnya bosan sebab i have piles of works that need my attentionssss..huhuuhu...

i haven't shared my journey to singapore kan? allow me then...

i went to singapore last june after so many years..i guess since my childhood when i was in primary school i think.so i went with my sis- k yoes n family (bro-in-law & zairyll) and k ilah too.

basically went shopping the night of the arrival n followed with Universal Studios Singapore (USS) on the following day. USS was quite okay. but i am terribly being unfair coz i was comparing USS with the original Universal Studios in US. i already went there back then and i was quite expecting similar experience to it. i understood as there will not be that many rides but maybe among the best rides they could offer. in the end, i was quite disappointed. yang penting, i dapat jumpa my favourite boyfriend!! sapa lagi??? tentulah SHREK! ;))
so here are some photos of it while i was there.

Thank you so much =)

2011-10-10T14:33:00.002+08:00

short term memory lost!?

2011-09-27T15:06:00.001+08:00

ishh...aku ni betul2 short term memory la! bahaya betul.. sekali pandang, mcm kelakar, dua kali pandang, dah mcm org tak betul aku nih...

kenapanye?

sem baru aku dah start dlm dua minggu. initially, i took 4 subjects and then i dropped one of it. couldn't bare the loads as well as some complications (i should have taken research method before i added this subject). so far ok la... tapinya, these three subjects that i am taking now require loads of hard work! not only hard work but LOADS of it. aku dah mula rasa symptom berat2 otak ni. as usualla kan aku nih.... @_@

tapi, yang kena mengena dengan short term nye adalah when i need to look over previous assignments from last semester. coz it has some subject relations to the current studies. so, when i was going through the readings, i could not even remember that i wrote that assignments. the words, the phrases, the sentences were awkward to me (tapi nasib la it was a good language.ehehehe )

sekarang end of september kan? i wrote that assignment when it was in april...bape bulan lah sangat kan?

i think i need to do some check-ups la...risau la plak...tak pasal2 hilang ingatan nanti.

insyallah, allah perlihara aku dari kesulitan yang tak tertanggung...amin...

hakikat yang hakiki

2011-09-22T03:44:00.000+08:00

selamat pagi!

dah lama rasanya tak buat perangai tido lambat dekat 4 pagi....
tanyalah buat apa?
tanyalah!
tanyalah!!!

marking papers~~

pastu, cam biasa..... esok ngelaaaatt sangat nak bangun tido.

yang bestnya, ada lagi papers yang nak ditanda esok before 2pm...

rasa-rasa cam nak buat sakit....tapi tak baikkan? mendoakan diri sendiri musibah...

k la, gue mau paksa diri ini titoooo... ^_^

luv ya~

di kala

2011-09-20T01:36:00.001+08:00

just finished watching a movie given and recommended by my student. it is a thai movie.

genre? luv story. (",)
comment? so sweeett ^_^
perasaan? feel like a loser, always :L
moral of the story? terimalah hakikat :{
hikmah? bitter is actually sweeter ;-]

sekian, selamat pagi.

=)

2011-09-20T01:20:00.002+08:00

i dont feel optimistic at all

2011-09-15T12:34:00.000+08:00

for the first time after sooooo long..i really feel demotivated!!!!! i feel stressed, depressed and all the negative things! rasa cam nak operate jek brain ni and cuci guna clorox. ;(((((

this is so not me..but i do understand. kita tak leh sangkakan panas sepanjang hari. mesti hujan datang menjenguk di tengahari or may be petang, or malam or even pagi2. macam semalam. hujan lebat yang amat sangat started from 1 pm up till the nite. it was a disaster for me coz i need to go my masters class. it was so heavy rain...but yet, aku boleh tertido ketika driving.ekekeke...alhamdulillah everything was fine and i reached campus just on time. ingatkan hujan dah berhenti after my second class...but na-ah....it rain again...it really gives me a headache...coz i was a bit rabun plus cannot see clearly coz of silau...so, while driving, i really had to focus my eyes to the lights on the road and also the roads' conditions. it was stressful!! damn! n again alhamdulillah....i am fine and still breathing.

aku stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssED!!!

Ada apa dengan warna kulit?

2011-09-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Salahkah kita berkulit gelap?

Tiba2 persoalan ini yang aku ingin ajukan. Bukannya apa, akubaru jek bersembang dengan colleague aku. Isteri kepada sepupunya berkulitgelap. Sudahlah begitu rupa, dia dicerca oleh mertuanya seolah-olah ia adalahsatu penghinaan berkulit gelap. Pelik betul aku.. Ada juga manusia yang sebeginirupa.

Maka, teringatlah aku pada satu waktu dulu. Masa tu, akuberkasih dengan jejaka dari Kelantan. Waktu tu aku balik Kelantan (kampung mak)untuk raya haji and also kenduri arwah. Sampai di Kelantan waktu pagi andtengahari tu kitorang terus keluar dengan auntie ke pasar n Kb untuk belibarang2 keperluan kenduri. On the way tu, aku tertido dalam kete. And there wasthis one part where I suddenly terjaga and heard my mom told my aunt about mybf. Terkojut den! Ye la..den tak pernah bgtau mak den secara direct yang denada bf. Tapi as a mom kan….she knows her daughter well. Tapi masa aku terjagatu, aku tak bukak pun biji mata ni. Ye la..sebab nak dengar apa mak aku ckp kataunty aku. Tiba2 aku dengar statement mak aku “ntah lawa ke idak, hitam keputih”. Untuk kedua kalinya aku terkejut. Mana taknye…bukannya kerisauan merekamengenai apakah perkerjaan jejaka aku tu… Instead, they wanna know whether he’sdark or fair.

So, my aunty tanpa perasaan bersalah (sebab aku tengah 'tidurI) pun tanya i,

- putih ke dia?

- takdelah putih…biasa jek

- kalau tak putih, gelaplah la tu.. ada macam abanganas? (abg anas is my cousin’s husband)

- taklah sehitam abang anas…

- dia ngan isha? ( Isha is abang sepupuku. Oh yeah..he wasdriving the car masa tu. Sah2 lah abg isha tersengih2 sbb aku kena soal)

- abg isha putih lagi la…tapi tengah2 antara abg isha n abganas. (my eyes were rolling)

Tiba2 mak aku nyampuk n kata yang aku ni carilah yang elokskit…putih etc…

I just would like to highlight that the fairness or the skinis utmost important at that moment yeah.

Ada apa dengan kulit cerah atau gelap? Does it mean thatkulit cerah bermakna bagus dan sebaliknya kepada kulit gelap?

~sigh~

Sampai Syurga

2011-09-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

Ku membenarkan jiwaku
Untuk mencintaimu
Ku persembahkan hidupku
Untuk bersama kamu

Dan diriku untuk kamu
Belum pernah kumerasai begitu

Semua itu telah berlalu
Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu

Di hatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik untuk diriku
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Untuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Untuk tatapan kamu

Bersamamu harapanku
Hilang dalam terang yang membutakanku

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu

Dan segala yang ku ada
Ku berikan semua
Untuk dirimu saja

Ku mahu dirimu
Bahagia untuk selamanya
Biar sampai syurga
Aku menunggu cinta darimu
Agar ku sempurna

Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku

Hanya satu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu

rasa rindu

2011-09-06T21:21:00.000+08:00

~~tiba-tiba saya rindu pada si dia, dia dan dia itu semua.~~

~~kalaulah saya boleh kembalikan waktu-waktu dahulu, mesti saya tak kan sia-sia kan saat yang berharga itu.~~

~~apalah khabar si dia bertiga itu.~~

Yin & Yang

2011-09-06T13:26:00.000+08:00

Anda pernah dengar tentang yin and yang?

Daripada pembacaan aku, yin and yang ini menggambarkan pemahaman ancient chinese mengenai how things work. The black (yin) and white (yang) symbolize two energies which somehow represent positivity and negativity. Secara lumrahnya, both could not exist WITHOUT each other coz they do complement each other. {so sweeeet rite? (",) }But then, the concept of yin and yang by the ancient chinese is mostly towards the medical theory.

Hari ni, aku bukannya nak citer pasal yin n yang directly. Cumanya, aku lebih tertarik kepada concept ni dari segi the balance of two opposite things in live and how important to have a balance portion of the good as well as the bad.

Hidup kita ni tak pernahnya berat sebelah. Tapi, kalau korang rasa hidup korang berat sebelah...aku syorkan korang bermuhasabah diri dan melihat dengan penuh teliti jalur-jalur kehidupan yang telah korang lalui. Allah itu kan Maha Adil...maka Dia tidak pernah memberi kehidupan umatnya dengan dugaan yang berpanjangan mahu pun kegembiraan yang berterusan. Hidup kita sentiasa diselang-selikan dengan kegembiran dan kesedihan. Itu lah yin dan yang. Cuma, depends to the individual, how to perceive it in yourself. To take it, or to leave it - the challenge(s)!

Personally to me, I always make myself to easily forget the dark side. Like I used to say before, aku kan optimistic orangnye...maka aku selalu buang yang keruh dan ambil yang jernih. Bukan bermaksud aku ni in denial...tapi yang buruk itu pastinya aku jadikan sebagai teladan. Yang baik tu pula, aku jadikan pemangkin untuk lebih maju. Tapi selalunya, yang buruk tu aku selalu lupakan jek and being a normal person, i did seomtimes repeat the mistakes...how foolish i am!

So, adakah hidup anda balance secara yin and yang nyer? Tepuk kepala, jawablah sendiri. (",)

my number

2011-08-22T16:25:00.003+08:00

last saturday was my 29th birthday. it is the end of 20s.. new number 3 is already peeking its entrance. soon it will be year 2012, and number 3 will be entering my life with half leg.

what's with the number? it is a number and will always remains as a number.

but the meaning behind the number matters most.

it means older...it means nearer to death...it means a new chapter in our book...

it eventually means a lot!

happy birthday to myself~~!!

semoga Allah sentiasa menolong hambaMU ini ke jalan yang terang lagi lurus..

semoga aku celik dan sentiasa celik.

amin...

~

2011-08-04T17:15:00.001+08:00

bye

Muhasabah

2011-07-13T10:31:00.003+08:00

Dear Allah,

Thanks to you and bersyukur ke atas nikmatmu sehingga kini. Lately, kau telah menggembirakan aku. Engkau telah limpahi aku dengan kesenangan dan kesempurnaan yang tak dapat aku gambarkan di sini. Hanya aku, hambamu yang serba kekurangan ini mendapat ihsanmu untuk merasai semua nikmat yang telah Engkau beri.

Ya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui,

Kerana kegembiraan dan kesempurnaan ini lah yang membuatkan aku lebih takut kepadamu. Takut kepada perkara-perkara yang Engkau bakal saji kepadaku kelak. Sesungguhnya, setiap kegembiraan itu pasti ada kedukaan yang mengekori. Lantas, mampukah aku untuk menerima dan menghadapinya?

KepadaMU ya ALLAH,

Aku bermohon, aku bersyukur, aku bersujud, aku melutut dan aku berdoa.....

Semoga apa yang Engkau takdirkan kepada aku, adalah yang sebaik-baik kejadian.

Yang elok datang daripada MU ya ALLAH, dan yang buruk datang daripada aku hambamu yang kerdil...

Ya Rahman Ya Rahim,

Permudahkanlah segalanya untuk aku dan kaummu,

Kerana kepada Engkau lah kami bersujud.

Amin ya rabbal 'alamin...

~ fa 130711 ~

prank king was being pranked

2011-07-07T01:25:00.003+08:00

i am so seriously and damn happy!

i have just completed a mission with my students and also unexpectedly my boss,

to prank my colleague - kesh.

he is the prank king, and finally i had successfully done it..

of course with all the PMs...

it was indeed a tiring day that was full with discussions, brainstormings, plans,

phone calls, and strategies.

my brain was so tired...

my day was so full up to an extent that i did not have the time to BE in the office

and also Check my emails and other stuffs for the day...

ohh....it was indeed a full of lagha day....

whatever! i am happy!

E.F.F.O.R.T

2011-06-28T14:16:00.001+08:00

EFFORT IS IMPORTANT,

BUT

KNOWING WHERE TO MAKE AN EFFORT

MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!!

kata-kata...fikirkan...

2011-06-27T13:58:00.000+08:00

Kita menempiaskan 99% kemarahan walau kepada orang yang paling kita cintai. Dan akibatnya adalah penyesalan. Seringkali penyesalan itu datang dikemudiannya, akibatnya setelah kita menyedari kesalahan kita, semua sudah terlambat...

Kerana itu, jagalah dan sayangilah orang yang dicintai dengan sepenuh hati... Sebelum mengucapkan sesuatu berfikirlah dahulu, apakah kata-kata yang kau ucapkan akan menyakiti orang yang dicintai? Kira merasakan akan menyakitinya, sebaiknya jangan pernah dilafazkan. Kerana semakin besar risiko untuk kehilangan orang yang dicintai.

Jadi berfikirlah, apakah kata-kata yang akan dilafazkan sebanding dengan akibat yang akan diterima??

http://www.iluvislam.com/

i did my first massage!

2011-06-27T13:38:00.004+08:00

last saturday, me and my 2 sisters went for a massage at plaza damas...well, it is at the same row with aji don cafe... that was basically my truly ever experience doing whole body massaging. like i did mentioned before this, my shoulder was so hurt. it was like i had a wrong position when sleeping. to one extend, i can't even turn my neck to the left or right. those two days' driving was like much of burden! felt like a robot too...

then, off we went for 1.30 appointment. first impression was good though. the ambiance was truly soothing..but one thing in our head, how la our dear zairyll gonna spend the total 1 hour there? he had his ipad with him.and knowing him, he's the type that gets easily boring....and hungry too. as we have expected, yes, he got boring...so, he went from room to room in that spa, visiting my other sis in another room and also some mini tour of him...especially visiting the gents...(he loves that). finally, he got free biscuits from the spa coz he kept on whining "hungry...hungry..".

the massage process was adventurous, indeed!! had been given a g-string (pakai buang one) hahaha...me n my sis were making jokes about it. not a decent jokes of coz... then, we were basically naked and covered with a blanket. and the massage process started. i had quite a young woman with me and my sis got a younger one. my other sis in other room had her own preferred tukang urut.

oh my.....even though my tukang urut is quite young, but her touches were "menusuk qalbu".. sakit seh!!! rasa macam nak jerit jek...tapi i did not. coz in reality....i had my operation that hurts more. so, this massage was not that hurt if i wanted to compare. from the beginning it started, aku asyik burp jek. banyak betul angin dalam badan aku. in fact, memang. aku memang tak leh makan food yang berbentuk angin ni...nnt cepatlah aku nak merasa muntah2. lols...macam-macam...sampailah nak dekat habis, barulah angin aku kurang. bayangkan lah ek, 45 minit massage mmg asyik burp jek...the last 15 minutes baru ok. macam kakak aku yang kat katil sebelah tu, tak berbunyi lansung. dah habis massage baru lah nak burp burp...tak thrill lansung.hehehe...

tapi yang paling aku tak leh nak lupa is when muka aku juga diurut. that happened at the end of the process. at first aku rasa cam ok jek. coz kalo kita dah selalu buat facial, basically the style urut tu more or less jek. tapi yang aku experience ni, dia macam ada tekan2 at certain spots a t your face. and yang best tu ialah dia ada satu part yang "aligned" struktur muka aku. is that word correct? dlm bahasa pasarnye, muka aku ni macam seolah-olahnye dibetulkan kedudukan dia. wahh...that was superb!!

actually, there were loads of funny and adventurous experiences i had during those 1 hour but let me or let us to keep to ourselves. if you wanna know, then you should try one. best kowt. after this, i wanna try the other type of massage like bali style where you can experience the "krak" "krak" sounds from your body. oh...mesti best.. and since the day i did the massage....i have better days ahead....

^_^

ohh...

2011-06-23T14:47:00.003+08:00

arghh....sangat stress....

pagi ni bangun dengan keadaan urat bahu terpeleot.. am in sitting position yang akward... sakit sangat sepanjang diameter bahu kiri ke kanan... i totally need a massage!

petang ni plak ada meeting. cam nak ponteng jek!

keje berlambak walaupun baru naik sem.

next week outstation. it also equals to more additional works in a limited time.

sambil makan cadburry flake dari aussie. nyum nyum..

oh saya stress!!!

~ sang perempuan yang durjana, si dia yang setia ~

2011-06-13T19:32:00.005+08:00

tajuk pada kali ini adalah berkaitan perempuan yang suka memainkan perasaan lelaki. bila kita dengar lelaki yang suka memainkan perasaan perempuan, itu adalah sesuatu yang cliche. tetapi jika sebaliknya, ia dirasakan sesuatu yang kurang elok. adakah ia bermakna jika si lelaki yang melakukannya, ia adalah baik sama sekali? ntahlah... macam menjadi satu lumrah kalau sedemikian yang terjadi...

apalah malang nasib si lelaki ini apabila sang perempuan itu suka memainkan perasaan si dia itu. nak dikatakan lelaki itu baik orangnya....memang tidak syak sama sekali. si dia ini mempunyai pekerjaan yang elok-elok. walaupun sedikit tegas orangnya, tetapi si dia ini sangat mencintai sang perempuan tersebut. jarak jauh bukan merupakan satu isu yang dapat menjarakkan kasih sayang antara mereka berdua .... (tetapi itu di pihak si dia)...

sang perempuan itu pula, entah di mana silapnya si dia itu terhadap diri sang perempuan. perkenalan dan percintaan adalah dasar suka sama suka. tiada paksaan sama sekali. sudah pun mengikat tali pertunangan dengan si dia..tetapi ikatan yang suci itu bagaikan tidak membawa kuasa sakti walau sedetik pun. rupa-rupanya, tali pertunangan diikat karena sang perempuan ini ingin menunjukkan kehebatannya kepada sang lelaki yang lain. kononnya, diri sang perempuan ini masih laku dan ada saja orang yang sanggup mahukan dia.

kasihan si dia yang baik itu....

lantas, karena sangat kecewa dipergunakan...walaupun si dia ini sanggup memaafi sang perempuan itu, si dia akhirnya tidak dapat berdolak lagi. dengan tarikh perkahwinan yang semakin menghampiri... kurang 5 bulan.... si dia tekad untuk memutuskan talian yang suci nan itu. bagi si dia, si dia ini ada maruah. tidak selalunya boleh diperkotak-katikkan...

maka, hancur musnahlah impian si dia itu. impian untuk membina masjid, impian untuk membina keluarga....impian untuk terus ke hadapan...

moga-moga...si dia ini bakal ketemu jodoh yang lebih kuat dan utuh... sesungguhnya ALLAH menyediakan perempuan yang baik-baik kepada lelaki yang baik-baik dan sebaliknya.

amin ya rabbal al-amin

~

2011-06-08T11:12:00.004+08:00

hua hua hua hua hua....

keje berlambak....tapi otak n tangan tak boleh bertindakbalas....

tiba-tiba esok lak nak gi express vacation for 3 days n 2 nights....

ditambah plak dengan kesihatan yang tidak meyakinkan... baru lepas MC on monday..

missed one class on monday and..... has to replace it anyhow...bila nak replace ek??

hate it when i'm having a flu....doctor ni pun satu...kasik ubat yang menye'leepy'kan...(sleepy)

nah kau....! aku asik nak tido jek skang nih.... kang tak makan ubat, tak baik lansung...

such in dilemma.....

antara malas dan tabah!

rezeki untukku...

2011-05-23T21:10:00.003+08:00

~~saya baru sahaja menempah rumah dia tepi pantai~~ taken and revised from

-->kalau tidak mau dilambung ombak, jangan berumah di tepi pantai

ingat lagi aku post this pepatah kat fb a while ago... masa tu aku found out yang aku kena ajar program lain jugak. masa tu core person english dept tanya, bleh@nak ke ajar prog nih? it will starts on october. aku macam tak tau nak cakap apa. why not kan? kalau aku tak nak, aku nak buat apa pun...lagi2 la skang ni, total number of sponsored students are not that high anymore. our governments are not that rich like we used to. so, it means loading will not be that much compared to before. tapi, bila aku say yes to her, aku kena aware that aku takkan dapat cuti end of the year nih....sebabnye, blum pun habis prog australian aku, aku akan start ngan prog jepun. kiranya these two programs will be berselisih at one particular moment. that is why aku post pepatah tu. maknanya aku dah bersedia dengan segala kemungkinan yang aku akan occupied end of this year and chances untuk aku amik cuti agak nipis ye kawan-kawan ~~

sebab tu la aku post pepatah tu....tapi bila kawan2 aku baca, diorang ingat memang aku baru menempah rumah di tepi pantai. riak sungguh kalau aku buat post macam tu...hahhaa...aku lupa yang contextually diaorang tak faham..hanya aku jek la yang faham...

tapi nampaknya, aku tak lagi menempah rumah di tepi pantai....malah aku dah pun beli rumah di dalam laut! believe it or not....lolss..... ;))

secara rasminya, loading and jadual aku dah agak penuh dari end of this may 2o11 till march 2012. what the!!? hahhaha.... this is because, end of may ni lak start lah class untuk prog middle east. bape prog da aku mengajar....tambah lagi bulan september start balik semester utk master.huhuhu...poning den dibueknya....

takpe, aku bersyukur dengan loading aku ni. sekurang-kurangnya aku masih hidup dan mampu untuk laksanakan tanggungjawab aku selepas ini. allah maha mengetahui segala2nya...

syukran jazilan...insyaallah....allah knows the best ^_^

syukran ya allah!

2011-05-23T20:55:00.001+08:00

yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alhamdulillah...... 4 flat in the hand babeh!!

thanx Allah ;)

p/s: it is all worth it.

tergendala

2011-05-14T03:38:00.000+08:00

oh saya sangat mengantuk! dan juga penat..... ;(

(kesinambungan entry yang lepas)

now it's already 3 something in the morning. it is tiring indeed...

just finished up the final reservations....

since last weekend me and my sis are working quite 'poning' for completing hampers' orders. it is supposed to be handed over esok siang. we got orders for 14 hampers (ranging price) and also not to be forgotten, last minute orders (as usual).

but most importantly, i got to wrap some presents!!! yeay! i've been missing to do those like ages. before i am working at the current place, i did work at Memory Lane for quite few months... i really found my true love in doing those wrapping thingy and also presents decorations. playing with ribbons, the designs of wrapping style, the wrappers itself etc. it is so satisfying!

makanya, barulah selesai keje hamba dengan membuat hampers dan juga membalut hadiah2 yang sebanyak 20 lebih itu. hamba sudah penat sungguh...izinkan hamba beradu... ;)

hear ye! hear ye!

2011-05-12T12:52:00.000+08:00

Don't be fooled by the calendar.

There are only as many days in the year as you make use of.

One man gets only a week's value out of a year while another man gets a full year's value out of a week.

-Charles Richards

~ mood maahi ve ~ (tak tau apa maksudnye)

2011-05-12T11:43:00.000+08:00

good day everyone!

*sound of relieve breathe*

in a way i am relieved.... just gone through a hectic daily schedule. kadang-kadang bila fikir2kan, aku ni keje apa ek? tapi takpe, aku suka bila jadual aku pagi petang siang malam sibuk. aku rasa aku sedang melaksanakan tanggungjawab dan sesuatu yang berguna. kalau aku tak buat apa2, maknanya tendency untuk aku buat ntah apa-apa amat tinggi. well, masa tengah muda ni la aku nak pulun buat keje. so far, alhamdulillah kesibukkan aku ni takdelah sampai ke tahap kena balik kerja lambat. sebabnya, anything yang tak finish, aku bawak balik umah jek. ye la, kat umah pun ada tanggungjawab... aku kan tinggal ngan mak aku jek. so, to accompany her is also a responsible for me.

last few weeks was like a disaster for me. that was really putting me into a high level of test and patience. need to prepare my students for final examinations, then to settle up with marking and marks, to mark papers i.e. assignments and also finals. it was really stressful... the time is never ever enough to finish up all those things. moreover, i am teaching two programs. luckily, their exams were not in the same week. and last week, need to struggle with the last effort for my masters la plak. nasib one of the program tgh study week. a bit relieve though. so, i am struggling the left-overs necessary stuffs like doing the write up for the mini research (assignments) and also not to forget two final papers that eventually held consequently (thursday & friday). and knowing me, i really can't study too early. last minute studies do work for me. basically, i understood the lessons we've learned before...it just that i need to revise those things and put to test in applying them. seriously, the final exams questions were damn high order thinking level. all this while, i've been learning about the Bloom's Taxonomy...and now i am experiencing it. quite fun though! ^_^

my motivation's level was also fluctuating. felt so motivated coz i already obtained A for one of the subjects. so the thursday paper was really motivating to go through. but then, once i encountered the paper......... __________________ (feel free to fill in the blanks). me and my friend were so damn de-motivated. 2 hours and a half is a no-no enough! there were so much theories that we've learned and obviously so much things to write in. it seems that we were still lacking the skills in identifying the necessary answers for the questions. but still, we made it. sebenarnya, we have the answers to all the questions tapi nak organize answers and thoughts in the attempts were quite challenging.

lols....feel like a loser (as usual) ;p

then, we decided to be veeerryy careful with the friday paper. ended up, it was easier and less complicated. the thursday paper consisted of 2-3 pages of questions but the friday paper had only 1 page of question. sabo je lah....

lols again....

masa tengah drive balik umah malam tu... terbayang kat students aku .. all this while they are experiencing that feeling when it comes to exams...and now, i am with them. such a cycle of life. maka, malam tu aku berhasrat untuk menenangkan otakku yang suka berat itu. my finals are over, my students lak will be having their finals the next monday....

tapi...malangnya aku tak dapat untuk berehat weekend tersebut.. nak tau kenapa?

next entry will explains it.

ciao!

isn't it cute?

2011-05-04T20:34:00.001+08:00

you've done a good job, mizleo! ^_^

2011-05-04T20:27:00.002+08:00

ALHAMDULILLAH....

SAYA HAPPY!

IT'S A GOOD START...

I AM SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW....

COZ TODAY I HAD A GOOD NEWS....

^_^

THANK YOU ALLAH

YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY

buhsan

2011-05-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

argghh... bos baruku perempuan juge..... = boring!

perjalanan yang terbantut

2011-05-03T10:36:00.002+08:00

what a day to start today... (yeah i know it's already 10.37 am..not really morning to push the 'start' button) biasalah aku ni...asal bdk2 cuti sem or nak finals...aku pun bermaharajalela la...datang office lambat, sesuka hati...pastu kena balik lambat sebab nak make sure working hours cukup...hahha...macam2...

dah la semalam malam terbantut nak buat assignment master yang terakhir..semuanya gara-gara rumah neighbour aku dimasuki pencuri. seram giler aku dengar..apatah lagi aku pergi rumah diorang, terus goose bumps..habis berselerak rumah diorang. sampai nak identify apa yang hilang pun susah. me n my mum were so scared coz we are living both of us at home...without a man obviously. not that i'm saying a man is needed at home so that pencuri tak masuk...na-a. ok whatever...

petang kejadian tu lak...at around 6pm, my mum n i went out to go to my sis's house. so, we had our dinner there and came back home at 9pm reached home. my mum realized that my neighbour master bedrooms's light was on. so she thought that they were home. (coz they weren't home to send their daughter back to hostel) so life goes on...we watched tv and suddenly i heard my neighbour came back. then the dad were calling us and informed us that the house were robbed. apa lagi..terkezut la aku n mak aku!! kitorang bajet mesti pencuri tu masuk maghrib time.. if we were at home, definitely we'll listen to our neighbour's door cracking. coz pintu papan rumah dia tu dah rosak. kalau buka pintu, mesti dengar punya. oh yeah, the time they came back was around 10.30pm.

maka, perjalanan assignment aku yang sepatutnya panjang pada malam itu tidak menjadi...aku pun tidur setelah sekerat jalan berjuang...hehehe...

ok, gue mau sambung buat assignment! tata... ^_^

sedih penat

2011-05-02T09:04:00.001+08:00

pagi ini aku bangun dengan perasaan yang sangat sedih. in fact, sepanjang aku tidur aku sedih. perasaan tu lansung tak beri aku peluang untuk melupakannya.

tidur aku penat. penat aku tidur.

sabar itu separuh drpd iman mizleo!

2011-05-02T00:14:00.005+08:00

sakit j.i.w.a

assignment is NOT FUN at all!

never will be when it comes to campurtangan I.T

pphhbbtt... >:P

1 malaysia

2011-04-24T21:41:00.002+08:00

oh yeah...while doing my so-called final examination, i forgot to jot down another sad news of the month. ;(

this morning, me n my mum were shocked with a news that my ex-neighbour whom we called as mami (donno what's the correct spelling is) had just passed away. this mami is an old indian woman who is so close to our family. but then, once we have moved to new area we are not that close and still we do visit each other especially on the hari raya/deepavali.

i couldnt make it to pay for the last visit coz i am still not feeling well this morning. so my mum n sis did go to visit the family. she will be burnt this morning tho. my sis told me that her face is so calm and in peace. ;) then, my sis also told me that the daughter kept on saying that mami and aya had always love me more than the rest... aya pun dah passed away back few months..

i still remember back then, i always go to their house. like always... i have no idea what i did all day long there but i was definitely been treated like a lil princess ever. hehee.. just say out whatever i wanna...then, i will surely get punye lah.

hahahah...aku close to indian families (oh gosh! now i realize it!) not a bad thing though...but it's for real. my other sisters lak close to chinese families. before i was born n when i was still young like 3-4 years old, my family lived with chinese families. there was one time i still remember that my family lived on the upper floor of a house whereby one chinese family lived downstairs. they had a business...fishes and aquarium! hahhaa....ingat lagi, kitorang adik beradik panggil diroang cina ikan..till now..hehehe...

wow...how 1 malaysia we were back then. tapi sekarang, kureng dah...mungkin neighbourhood skrg kureng ke satuan malaysianan nye.... apa-apa pun, it is definitely a memory not to be forgotten. alhamdulillah.... (",)

no pain ~ no gain ~

2011-04-24T15:02:00.004+08:00

this is so funny. i guess it's a reality. my age is increasing. so does each and everything.

now i realize that working and studying at the same time is not really a definite decision. lagi-lagi lah kepada manusia macam aku ni. sebabnya, aku ni kan agak optimis. jadi, bagi aku semua itu bisa diatur.

well....undoubtedly the journey is fun. u get to be more knowledgeable and u somehow feel that u are the one who cares for the world...hahhaa...ntah apa-apa ntah explanation aku nih. ok pendek kata, ko akan rasa yang ko ni manusia yang pandai kerana ilmu datang dan pergi 24/7. ye la... you've been teaching and you are learning. what you learned, you teach it. isn't that the most pure and sincere deeds ever!? yeah...pandai is subjective but to me you sort of feel like you are worth it, berguna and responsible. full stop.

but, one thing that i am sure i am still the old mizleo. i luuuuvv last minute job. this is the "funny" part actually. as usual, we had an assignment. it was given from the very beginning of the sem but guess what!? i did it last minute show! so did my frens. i had all the materials with me but it is so hard to finish it up. yup, i've been doing it lil by lil... it's just that you dont feel the urgency to finish up asap...(byk cikadak kan?)

maka, i've been struggling like ttuutt for the past 7 days. i just feel like i need more and more references. ;D sampailah ke waktu pengakhiran nak submit assignment tu. i was not just struggling to finish the assignment there and then. it's more to struggling to juggle between work n study.

it is so irony. to get into class when i'm at work. giving lectures to students and when it comes to giving exercises to them, i fill my time doing some study for my masters. so C.U.T.E ^_^ yeah rite....

akhirnya, setelah penat lelah ku berakhir....pada petang aku submit assignment, aku dah start rasa tak sedap badan. need to fetch mum at my sis place and otw to there, i called her to get ready. my fever started to burn up... trus mlm tu aku meracau dan demam panas... my mum told me that i was just like so freaking up..hehe...thanx mummy! u always be there when i need ya (",)

tu lah...semakin berusia ni, semakin tak leh pressure diri plak..buat keje lebih jek mulalah nak sakit sini sakit sana. my mum used to tell me that she really 'hates' it if i were to fell sick. coz once i am sick, i am so gonna really sick. no play-play one. hehehe...well, allah loves me i guess. sakit itu kan mencuci dosa. alhamdulillah....

k, need to finish up another assignment. which is due tomorrow at 6pm!!

psst..btw, it is {take home final xm} lolss ^_* wish me luck ya! muah!

-

2011-04-23T15:42:00.002+08:00

i just deactivated my fb account. such a relieve!!!

aku tak tau kenapa. tp dua tiga menjak ni....aku tak sedap hati.

yang nyata, aku mahu banyak habiskan waktu dengan mendekatikan diri kepada ALLAH.

hanya DIA yang boleh membantu aku.. amin...

insyaallah...hendak seribu daya, tak mahu seribu dalih.

na'a

2011-04-20T22:38:00.002+08:00

i just don't like the feeling of having no answer! buat aku tak keruan! arggh!!!

^_^

2011-04-19T17:53:00.001+08:00

dear Miss Farrah Ahmad,, thanks for your time,, i greatly appreciate it,, u're the bomb,, drop dead gorgeous,, cute,, fun and all things good a lecturer could become,, just noe that those tears are for your understanding,, definately not because of her,, THANKS AGAIN!~~~ moral value;; be careful when choosing ur friends,, but be even more careful when adding people to ur fren list~~

[khairul izzat: 18/4/2011]

~ smile ~

2011-04-14T20:51:00.004+08:00

it's been a while since i last wrote here. tried not to, coz i'll be writing about the late friend.. end of this month which is on the 30th would be his birthday AND ALSO genap 40 days he had left us and the world. -titik-

again...it's about how time flies so fast. tomorrow would be literally my last day of the first semester for my master. technically, the last day would be on the 6th May. yes, it would be the last paper that i am going to take. though tomorrow would be literally the last day, i still could not be happy, yet. still i have THREE assignments to complete. ghee ghee... ;D

but then kan...teringat hari tu bila i had a test. that was the first test ever since i graduated. O.M.G.... what a feeling! soalan was quite easy..but i had the rough time to actually be in the test-scenario. as usual...aku akan rasa cam loser. hahaha...sebabnye i was too conscious of writing the introductory paragraph with a hook...not to forget the thesis...and of coz topic sentences! what dduh! ;D that was all the thing that i had taught my students to practice and now i am in their shoes... well...it's like, what comes around, goes around.. hahaha...

tapi takpe la...yang penting, i truly had fun this time.

p/s: feels like to proceed with a PhD (master pun baru satu sem, tapi dah berangan... ^_^)

insyallah..kalau dipanjangkan umur n dimurahkan rezeki..Allah knows best! amin...

redha

2011-03-27T20:18:00.003+08:00

ok.

hari ni genap 7 hari arwah pergi meninggalkan dunia...

masing terkenang-kenang apa yang terjadi pada hari yang sama minggu lepas...

paling tak dapat dilupakan kenangan sabtu lepas...

ia akan sentiasa terpahat di minda dan di hati aku yang kerdil ini...

dan mulai hari ini juga...

aku akan cuba untuk tidak terlalu memikirkannya...

biarlah arwah bahagia di dunia yang sana itu...

aku redha dengan ketentuan ilahi...

dan sebagai hamba allah yang serba kekurangan ini...

aku akan sentiasa iringi segala kenangan bersamanya dengan doa...

allah maha mengetahui...

allah maha berkuasa...

dan

allah maha menyayangi hamba-hambaNYA...

amin.

~ awan mendung ~

2011-03-25T15:16:00.002+08:00

oh gosh....sgt terkesan pemergian arwah ishak ni..
aku tak leh lupa kot what had happened...
selalunya aku senang jek nak lupakan benda-benda yang menyedihkan...
tapi tak tau nape this time it is so hard..

mmg betul kata orang...
bila hidup kita tak nampak...
bila dah takde, kita terkenang2...
in fact, we are in one group...
apa2 pun kitorang buat sama...
lagi2 lah part nak prank org...
and segala aktivitilah...

and tadi masa ada event staffs kat tempat aku...
namanya disebut...
alfatihah disedekahkan...buatnya dan arwah2 yang lain...
alhamdulillah aku dapat menahan airmata...
dan mereka pun berhati2 bila menuturkannya...
kerana mereka tahu aku pasti tersentuh...

dan sedarlah kita...
bahawa status sahabat adalah paling mulia..
jika kita bandingkan dengan kekasih hati yang belum pasti akan menjadi suami atau isteri kelak....
kerana seorang sahabat itu tiada nilai dan penggantinya....

ya allah ya tuhanku...
kuatkanlah hati hambamu yang kerdil ini...
sesungguhnya aku insaf...
dan bukakanlah hatiku ini lebih luas dari sebelumnya...

amin..amin..amin ta rabbal alamin...

hikmah, itu pun jika kau sedar.

2011-03-23T22:06:00.003+08:00

i am really thankful for whatever that have had happened in front of my eyes. to be honest, i do feel insaf. and i am determine to change bit by bit. all this while, allah has shown me a lot n He has always helped me no matter what. i am so thankful to HIM. HE is the best - no doubt about it.

memang sangat betul bila kita kata - sesuatu yang terjadi itu ada hikmahnya. hikmah itu semua adalah antara kita sedar atau tidak. atau pun you are in denial.

just had happened jgk these few days. had a friend. she is nice or should i say she WAS nice. well...it was all happened because of first love. a USED to be nice girl are totally in love with a boy who is not good at all. well, to me his is not. why? dont even care about it lah! yang nyata, kerana lelaki itu, perempuan itu berubah. tak salah berubah...tapi perempuan itu tak perlu kot ko buang kawan. kau buang kawan lelaki kerana kau dengar kata cinta kau. apa jenis akal kau ada pun aku tak tahu. kita harus sedar, sedalam mana cinta kau pada dia, sahabat tidak sama sekali boleh ditukar ganti. sahabat merupakan individu yang menyokong kau dari depan dan belakang. sekali kau melukakan hati sahabat, kesannya selama-lamanya. you might be forgiven but SURELY not forgotten.

tapi, allah itu maha berkuasa. akhirnya yang kau cinta pergi meninggalkan engkau dan yang engkau buang jua pergi meninggalkan kau selamanya. yang menyedihkan, sahabat itu pergi dengan rasa kecewa pada apa yang engkau buat padanya. tergamak kau melakukan semua itu. pada aku dan sahabat lain, kami betul2 sangsi dengan akal engkau.

sekarang, kau dah tiada siapa pun. kalau ini tidak dapat menyedarkan kau, maka aku kira kau pergilah jauh2 dari kami. tiada gunanya lagi. pergilah engkau melutut pada cinta kau yang satu itu..kerana kau telah aku lihat, bertukar sama seperti cinta kau itu = tidak berhati, perasaan dan berakal. kau memang secocok!

kami menyayangi dan merinduimu... ;(

2011-03-21T22:35:00.004+08:00

ya allah tuhanku...

sangat berat rasanya menanggung kesedihan dan ketakutan...

aku telah hilang dua sahabat dalam masa 20 hari..

yang terbaru ini amat sangatku rasai...

sehinggakan aku tak dapat lagi mengeringkan airmata ku ini...

dua hari aku berulang-alik ke hospital..dan dua hari itu merupakan hari-hari terakhir arwah...

allah betul2 memakbulkan doa aku...

allah telah mempermudahkan perjalanan arwah..

arwah agak terbeban dengan dugaan yang dihadapi..

hari terakhir aku, akid, mas dan afiq bersama arwah adalah pada tengahari sabtu..

arwah kelihatan sihat jika dibandingkan dengan hari-hari sebelumnya...

dlm banyak2 hari, hari itu lah satu2nya hari arwah bercakap dengan banyaknya...

malah arwah juga duduk, baring, dan stretching bergilir ganti...

tidak seperti hari2 lain di mana arwah hanya mampu baring dan menanggung kesakitan..

kami bersembang seperti waktu2 arwah sihat...cuma bezanya, arwah di katil hospital dan fizikal arwah tidak seperti dulu....

allah menghidapi cancer lymphoma...

sesuatu yang amat jarang bagi penduduk malaysia...

arwah juga telah didiagnose setahun yang lepas...tetapi berita itu berlalu pergi begitu sahaja...

tiba2 ia datang kembali dan kali ini terus merampas arwah dari dunia ini..

kesian arwah, pada 31 disember yang lepas, mamanya telah pulang ke rahmatullah....

arwah amat rapat dengan mamanya...malah amat menyayangi mamanya...

tidak pernah kami dengar tentang ahli keluarga yang lain selain mama...

pemergian mama amat mengujinya...

tak lama selepas mama pergi, arwah menanggung pula penyakitnya...

terlalu banyak kenangan kami bersama arwah...

malah hampir setiap aktiviti, arwah pasti ada bersama-sama...

apatah lagi aku ini selalu digandingkan bersama arwah untuk mengacara majlis...

selepas ini, pasti ada kerusi kosong...

pasti tiada siapa lagi yang akan menyampuk..

tiada siapa lagi yang akan datang dengan idea2 yang bernas malah tak masuk akal...

tiada siapa lagi yang akan menyanyi...

tiada siapa lagi yang datang bersama kaca mata hitam....

ya allah ya tuhanku....

terlalu perit untuk aku terima ini...

sesungguhnya Engkau maha mengetahui ya tuhanku...

hambamu yang kerdil memohon padamu...

ko tempatkanlah arwah di kalangan orang2 yang beriman...

ko sayangilah arwah dan hapuskan lah dosa-dosa arwah di atas muka bumi ini...

sesungguhnya arwah seorang yang selalu menceriakan hari-hari orang di sekelilingnya...

arwah Mohd Ishak Mustapha Kamal....kami menyayangimu....

30 April 1984 - 20 March 2011

dugaanmu, hikmahmu, insafku.

2011-03-19T18:59:00.002+08:00

i pity ishak.

ya allah yang maha mengetahui maha mendengar,

aku mohon padaMU untuk mempermudahkan perjalanan ishak..

sesungguhnya berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul..

aku redha jika ini ujian yang KAU beri padanya, maka aku kira ada hikmah di sebaliknya..

ya allah ya tuhanku,

panjangkan lah umur nya...limpahkan lah kurnia rezeki buatnya..

aku memohon padamu agar dia sembuh dari dugaanmu.

sesungguhnya dia amat tabah tapi tak tertanggung dek seksaan duniawi yang kau beri padanya..

allahu akbar..

besar sungguh petunjukmu...

luas sungguh nikmatmu...

silaturrahim antara kami lebih kuat lebih utuh..

insaf kami lebih terkesan...

kerana apa yang kau uji padanya,

membuka mata orang di sekelilingnya..

ya allah maha penyayang..

aku mohon padamu sekali lagi..

panjangkanlah umurnya dan ubati lah dia dari penyakitnya..

sesungguhnya hikmah yang diberi, harapannya biarlah yang menyinari..

amin ya rabbal alamin......

excited~excited~excited~excited~excited!!!!!!!

2011-03-10T13:30:00.003+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED! but i am also in dilemma!

what should i do?? should i or shouldn't i?

Oh god help me.....

Tu lah... kan bagus kalau ari tu kau berdisplin.. Sekarang ni, agak dah terlambat.. Cis!

What a waste missyleo... Shame on you!

Tapi takpe kot. I never expected it would turn out to be THAT thing..

Na-ah.. Naa...

Hehehehhehehe....

YEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

^_^

emosi

2011-03-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

oh tidakkkkk.....

musim emosi datang kembali! mengapakah dan apakah?

lately ni, aku suka emo2. tak tau napa..mungkin stress keje, blaja n tanggungjawab kot. penat memang penat. kalau pasal tu, tak yah lah nak think twice. asal balik keje n if takde class masa malam, aku memang dah knock out dah. tiap2 hari bawak balik beg berisi kerja2 sekolah students dan diri sendiri, tapi tak tersentuh lansung. buat penat bawak masuk rumah jek.

this condition is really affecting me. i don't know what to do with myself...i dont have much ideas and solutions to this problem. and i wonder when it will stop.

aku emo psl banyak benda. dari sekecil2 hal hingga sebesar2 perkara. mungkin hormon berubah kot..maklumlah, semakin muda usia nih. dan apabila aku mengalami keadaan emo2 ni, aku sedar semuanya. at one time, i'll be regretting and questioning my sudden windy emo. but then, after it has happened, aku kembali sedar...but tak leh buat apa dah..nasi dah menjadi bubur.

dan sekarang ni, aku di tahap agak kemuncak utk mempunyai unstable emotion. sebabnye mudah. kerana --- perkara itu. perkara itu telah membuat aku kembali kepada satu kejadian. sepanjang aku tamat pengajian di universiti, aku berazam untuk melawan perkara yang berkaitan dengan seadanya.

mula2 aku gagal beberapa kali. aku suram. aku sedih.

tapi, akhirnya aku menanamkan keazaman yang lebih mendalam. dan alhamdulillah aku menuju kejayaan. tapi, di sebalik kejayaan yang mendatang, perkara itu pula datang menjenguk. aku rimas tapi aku ingin tahu. semuanya kerana perkara itu.

betul kata orang2 tua - berakit rakit ke hulu, berenang renang ke tepian, bersakit2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian... sekarang, aku sedang bersakit2...dan ia amat menyakiti.

it is fast

2011-03-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

wow! it has only been 2 months of 2011 but i felt like 2 years have gone. seriously time passes so fast! i realized pun sebab hari tu i had academic staff meeting and there was a review of events held in january and february. there were actually quite a lot and partly i did involve in the events but i thought it was like looong time ago.

so far, my life has its ups and down. quite normal and yet so challenging. i discovered new things and i could say that i'm learning new stuffs from day to day. though there are moments that are repeating but honestly, it is not the same repetition. i am enjoying every bit of it but sometimes i admitted that i lose control of it.

getting older is also means getting emotional. apart from growing the maturity, i agree that there are loads of sacrifices need to be dealt with in that process. it is definitely not an enjoyable thing on earth to do but it is among the common process that we have to go through. and it is also not about the results but most importantly the journey that we have GONE through.

Bila fikir balik, kadang-kadang aku bersyukur... kadang-kadang aku mengeluh dan tak kurang juga aku menyesali kejadiaannya. alangkah baiknya kalau waktu boleh berputar kembali. setiap kekurangan pasti dapat dibaik pulih.

tapi, kadang-kadang aku bahagia... kadang-kadang aku bangga diri... kadang-kadang aku rasa "i'm in control"!

this 29 years (soon to be) i've been living in this world have been a tremendous journey. it is indeed like a roller coaster...where at some point, you'll scream...at another point, you'll just love the sights. and at the end of a time, you'll feel like vomiting. and that's my life! all in all, you'll be grateful for the opportunities on riding it and the experiences are just useful for your future.

the truth is :

i need a career change!! i wanna do what i like the most.. aku nak tukar angin!

(noktah)

susah

2011-03-05T22:26:00.002+08:00

ok.

aku sangat susah untuk meluahkan perasaan aku sekarang nih.

bila tak diluah, rasa senak jiwa memberontak.

bila nak diluah, tak tersusun kata-kata untuk luahan.

why?

semakin hari semakin susah...

selepas satu, satu lagi pergi...

selepas arwah bibi, arwah jay pula menyusul...

selepas telinga kiri pergi, telinga kanan pula...

takde siapa yang boleh aku mengadu lagi...

aku?

ntah bila allah ingin menjemput...

ntah sapa allah mahu menjemput dulu...

jadi?

.............

innalillahirojiun

2011-03-02T00:09:00.003+08:00

ok.

i am seriously speechless.

i am done with crying and i can't cry anymore.

instead, i am still shocked.

my good friend - Wan Ahmad Fadzil or better known as Jay, had just passed away like 20-30 minutes ago.

thank god coz i wanna go online.

i saw his pic was tagged with condolences sentences.

i was confused.

arwah in fact had just came back to malaysia and on his way back to terengganu- his hometown.

i was told that he was just had an accident. ya allah....with his wife and two kids in the car. both of the daughters are still young and the youngest was only about 4 months.

i could not imagine what was the accident like when allah took away him from this world.

from what i asked, he was in coma but not for too long.

innalillahirojiun....ya allah, semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat dan al-fatihah.

p/s: he had been a great dear friend of mine and we did share a lot of thoughts together.

lam alif zal ya

2011-02-21T23:36:00.003+08:00

aku dikelilingi dengan orang-orang yang sakit. ada yang sakit biasa-biasa...dan tak kurang juga dengan sakit yang luar biasa. bukan itu sahaja, malah aku pun sakit dan berpenyakit.

aku sakit M.A.L.A.S !!!!

tuhan sahaja tahu betapa malasnye aku sekarang ni. semua kerja aku tergendala. it is not good at all. n yes i know that. but still i'm not moving on.

like at this moment. i have an assignment that i should submit already. but i'm not finished with it. oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

missyleo. kenapa ko malas ni huh!?

wake up gurl!!!!!

qalbi

2011-02-16T23:01:00.002+08:00

~TERSENTUH~

pengalaman baru -best!

2011-01-31T23:18:00.002+08:00

oh penatnye hidup di kala ini....

sebenarnya, aku ada banyak benda nak share....tapi aku sangat takde masa nak menulis.
nantilah aku cari waktu yang seswei untuk mengarang karangan...

by the way, petang tadi aku pi pearson longman... ala, publisher buku yang dikenali ramai tu..
last week, elt sales manager dia called aku. dia invite aku join focus group discussion yang diorang organize...lebih tepat, diorang ni nak publish new book about ielts. so, during the focus group discussion tu, a prototype will be given, and kitorang akan comment and highlight lah benda2 yang relevant dengan prototype tu mainly on its contents, layout, structure, appropriacy in terms of language and level and macam2 lagi lah...

discussion started at 5.30pm and it was facilitated by the regional sales manager/director - Steve King from the Japan headquarter. it lasts till 7pm and all i could say, it was fun and fruitful. best btul bila ada professional academic sharing and discussion moment. tup tup, dah pukul 7pm. participants ada 8 orang semuanya. 3 including me from the same place. and another 5 from other 4 institutions. steve said our group is so far the best focus group he has ever had. it went well and steve managed to finish it up on the dot.

the best part was.....as a token of appreciation, pearson longman gave us approx USD50 that is RM150. yeah...just for 1hour and a half. well...our contributions in ideas and thoughts are really much appreciated. yeehaa!! ^_^

so, based on our opinion, the writer for that particular book will consider our sharing thoughts of experiences and knowledge to actually improvising the books. from it, they will be able to market the book and suits the market very very well....

alhamdulillah....rezeki datang tanpa kita perasan. amin

gapo dio!?

2011-01-06T20:50:00.001+08:00

"Selamat pagi cikgu!"

tapi, nampaknya sekarang - "Selamat malam cikgu!"

oh my gosh... life has been very hectic. pagi malam dengan buku. penatnya tak terkira.
dugaan betul hidup aku kali ini. baru jek seminggu mengharungi liku-liku hidup menjadi pelajar, tapi rasanya dah berat dah bahu ni memikul kerja sekolah.

allah itu maha mengetahui...syukur alhamdulillah...he has always been there helping me out. memang aku tak tau at the first place. but then, bila pikir lama-lama, barulah everything makes sense.

i do really need multivitamin. i feel restless and hopeless to think about the whole semester.

wish me loads of lucks ^_*

luv.

it made me ME

2010-12-31T22:12:00.003+08:00

ok...it's another more or less 2 hours before it begins with year 2011. a fact that we have to face - we are a year older. goshh...time flies soo fast!

Macam-macam yang telah terjadi tahun 2010 nih. Daripada yang best kepada yang tak best...Yang sakit hati, yang bengong, yang surprise!, yang menyayat hati, yang riang ria, yang takut, yang gerun, yang tak percaya, yang sangat tak bleh blah dan yang sebagainya.

Ingat lagi bila it was early this year, the forecast said that this year would be a downturn compared before. Economically, it would not be a good one for most of the people. And macam-macam lagi lah. Tapi, tu semua predictions jek. Ntah sapa ntah yang rajin predict-mengpredict ni. Satu kerjaya yang amat jaya lah jugak. Aku pun kadang-kadang suka gak baca tentang forecast nih...Saje gatal-gatal..takdelah sampai percaya giler2. Yang aku suka ialah horoscope nye predictions nih. Suka-suka jek untuk suka-suka baca. I am not really believing in whatever it says but kalau yang best-best tu, aku buat sebagai motivations la.

Honestly, this year is soo happening!! Daripada perkara yang aku nak elak, ia terjadi juga. Personally, it is a year that is full of emotions. On behalf of my career, it is turning out really well. I've learned a lot and I grew up with it along the journey. Financially, i am blessed with loads of rezeki. Rezeki aku sungguh murah. Alhamdulillah...Walaupun kadang kala aku diuji, tapi thank god la aku dapat menapisnye.

Basically, this year had started with quite bad scenes. But, towards the middle of the year, it turned out good. Reaaally good instead. hhmm... Thank you Allah for all your blessings and fate that you've set for me. It taught me a lot actually. It made me stronger, it made me to think twice. It made to accept what it is said to be fated. It made me happier. It made me better. It made me ME.

Tak lupa juga, tahun depan tanggungjawab aku lebih berat. I'll be back to school and i do really hope that i could do better in both teaching and learning. Hopefully, in another 2 years time....i'll be granted with my masters' degree. insyallah..... ^_*

Tapi, dalam banyak-banyak benda yang terjadi....ada satu package lagi yang aku owe to ALLAH. and i hope i could accomplish it throughout next yearsss.... ^_^

So, farewell to 2010 and be ready for 2011. Forget the past but take along whatever valuable to the next year. Tatititutu......

bye-bye n hi

2010-12-30T17:17:00.002+08:00

lols~ tak pasal2 malaysia dapat public holiday esok i.e. 31st December 2010. Semuanya gara-gara Malaysia menang AFF Suzuki Cup semalam. haha..just can't believe it. btw, i'm totally will be enjoying the public holiday at home.

sigh~ the last weekend to be rested, fully.

Negaraku~~~

2010-12-29T22:22:00.002+08:00

hhuuuuuuuhh....just finished watching a football/soccer match- Malaysia vs Indonesia. Quite an emotional game it was. Mulanya aku macam tak nak tengok and i did not when it was in Malaysia...but then, ntahlah...ada geng kot nak tengok malam ni, so aku pun tengoklah. Yang nyata suara aku dah mula serak-serak. hahaha...inilah akibatnya menjerit..^_^ Dah la mak aku takde umah balik kampung, and kebetulan cousins aku stay kat umah, maka kami pun sama-samalah berganding bahu menjerit. hehe..best jugak...dah lama tak buat perangai macam ni. oh btw, Malaysia won with aggregate 4-2. It is Suzuki Cup championship.

Seperti biasa, aku terkenang zaman sekolah menengah dulu2. Kenapa? Kerana, setiap (tak silap aku la) rabu and sabtu, aku akan pi tengok football match. And of course team Selangor la... ~Merah kuning lambang kebanggaan.... ~ hehe...Aku 'mampu' menonton setiap perlawanan kerana jeng jeng jeng...

Dijadikan citer, kakak aku yang sorang ni is a stewardess. Masa tu dia still buat flight domestic. And passengers yang agak loyal are the football teams of most of the states. So, there she met with the players. And dalam ramai-ramai tu, adalah jugak players yang sangkut kat kakak aku. One of them yang aku memang ingat was Kedah's player (nama dirahsiakan). Dia syok kat kakak aku. Selalu lah dok call rumah. Masa tu handphone was still not-the-famous yet. hehe.. And kalau ada pun, rupa handphone tu sangat buroks. Dan aku, sebagai adik bongsu yang sangat nakal - yang menjadi operator setia di rumah, selalu membuli beliau.

"Hello"
"Hello. Ye nak cakap dengan sapa?"
"Rozleen ada? "
"Ada. Ni sapa?"
"Ni kawan dia"
"Kawan dia sapa?"
"Erk....."
"Yela, kawan dia nama apa?"
"Oh...saya ..............."
"Hmm...ingat takde nama.."
> Kak leen....call. Dia kata kawan.

hahaha....itu memang hobby aku kalau answered house phone call. Suke jawab- kawan dia la apa la. Sebut jek la nama...macam susah jek. Dan haruslah mamat bola tu ngadu kat kakak aku. Dia kata aku ni cam pegawai polis..

Hello!! Kalau nak tackle kakak aku...korang tu semua kena rasuah aku. Barangsiapa yang berjaya merasuah aku, nescaya perjalanan aktiviti tackle menackle ni dengan izinnya berjalan lancar...hehhee...

Tapi, kakak aku tak jadi ngan dia tu. After that, kakak aku ngan player selangor lak. Mamat ni dok kat area2 yang berdekatan ngan rumah aku. Sekolah pun kat klang...and dapat main kat selangor. Kenal ngan kakak aku dari zaman sekolah lagi. Tapi, bila dah jadi footballer ni, barulah nak try mengayat. Masa ni memang lawak habis. Asal nak keluar jek, mesti bawak aku. Tension pun ada gak. Sebabnya aku lak kena ngekor mana2. Masa ni kakak aku takde kete lagi. Nak gi mana2 kitorang naik commuter. Then bila si dia ni tahu jek kitorang nak kuar, member sanggup jadi driver kitorang. Dan yang paling best sekali ialah bila aku dapat special autograph dari semua player team Selangor. Masa tu Selangor di ambang ke'glamer'an. Player yang mantop masa tu were Azman Adnan, Azlisham and pemain import Mehmet Durokovich. Tak lupa jugak, aku dapat autograph dari phisiotherapist dia. hhahaa..boleh la..

Dan kerana si dia ni la, aku dapat tiket untuk 2 musim untuk home games. Jadi, aku akan pegi ngan 2 abang ipar aku and abang angkat aku for every games. Masa tuh la aku giler bola. Aku hafal semua players termasuk referees and lines men. Dahsyat tak? Skang ni, kalau aku jumpa kat mana2 pun, aku tak kenal diorang. That time had passed. But i did enjoy and treasure every moment i've had before. (walaupun aku dirasuah untuk kakak aku).hahahha...

Dan akhirnya, kakak aku tak jadi ngan mana2 players demikian. Jodohnya bersama leading steward juge....

haish...terkenang-kenang zaman remaja dulu. Alangkah bahagia aku 'dirasuah' untuk approval.. haha... ^_^

p/s: Malaysia, i am proud of you! Rio Ferdinand just twittered and congratulate Malaysia for winning the Suzuki Cup. yeeehaaaa!!!

ehem ehem ^_^

2010-12-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

Weekend lepas aku terkenang kat anuar zain. haha... tiba2 jek kan? Biasalah peminat umum macam aku ni. Lagi pun hari tu aku tengok anugerah skrin, dia ada buat show. Simpan misai la pulak. Aku rasa kalau dia simpan janggut pun, hensem jugak. Tuhan cipta dia serba elok. Bertuah badan... Alhamdulillah lah dia dikurniakan sebegitu.

Yes. Aku memang minat dia. Tapikan....aku tak tau macam mana nak describe minat tu. In fact. aku pun tak tau apa maksud minat. Ok, people would said that they admire him for his look, which is true. Tanpa ragu-ragu aku pun sama. Tapi, his talents in singing are unavoidable to be admired as well. Like people in entertainment business would say, he has THE package. Aku ni pun minat dia macam-macam tu jek. Nak kata aku tahu birth date dia bila.... i don't know. How many album he has, pun aku tak tahu. Lagu-lagu dia yang terkenal, aku tau lah. Kalo ada pertandingan kuiz pasal all about him, sebelum bertanding aku dah angkat bendera putih. Punyalah nak kata yang aku ni peminat yang sebenarnya tidak minat sangat kecuali dua perkara yang disebut di atas. In contrast, wujud sebenarnya peminat yang fanatik. Nama pun fanatik, segala benda diorang tahu. Kiranya, kalau kita suruh mereka buat biodata artis tu, mesti diorang boleh buat. Kira memang minat habis lah!

Aku ni kan, minat anuar zain ikut musim jek. Cuba teka musim apa? hhehehe... sah-sah musim raya jek. Sebab?? First, of course lagu raya dia yang agak glam itu selalu berkumandang di radio. Tapi, yang pasti aku dapat kirim salam dan kirim ucapan selamat hari raya pada dia...usually on the first day of raya. But then, kalau tanya dia, mesti dia tak tau or tak ingat apa-apa la kan...? hahaha... loser tul aku nih... ^_^

Macam mana aku leh buat sedemikian? Well...it's quite a long story to tell but in sum, my bro-in-law's brother n his wife kinda a good friend of him. So, every raya on the first day, they will visit his house. So there goes my regards and raya wishes. hehehe...Kirim salam pun jadi lah....

Adalah sekali tahun bila ntah... anuar kasik kat aku kad raya. Mula-mula, aku memang takkan percayalah kan? Walaupun ada signature dia. Mana taknya... abang ipar aku ni tak leh caya sangat. Nak tahu kenapa? Begini: terjadilah satu kisah di mana abang ipar aku ada buat event and artis jemputan nye was Mawi. Masa tu memang zaman mawi glamer habis. So, anak kawan abg ipar aku ni mintak ayah dia dapatkan signature mawi. Nak dijadikan citer, ayahnye sorang ni lupa nak mintak coz sibuk as the organizer's committees. Nasi dah jadi bubur...coz mawi dah balik. Oleh kerana si ayah ni tak sampai hati nak kecewakan anak nye, maka si ayah ni tadi bersama abg iparku telah membuat pakatan? Apa dia? Both of them FORGED mawi's signature! And, the daughter had believed (of coz she did coz the father met mawi) and showed the whole kampung (when they did balik kg after the event) that mawi had signed an autograph to her. Oh my..... pity isn't it? Poor lil girl. I could not blame both coz both of them had their own acceptable reasons.

Maka, apabila aku terima kad raya dari anuar...aku control macho. Malas lah kan nak lompat-lompat ker apa ker.. Ye lah, artis bagi i kad raya (even he is a human). Sebabnye, aku takut kalau abg ipar aku ngan adik dia main2kan aku. Nanti aku jugak yang malu. Walaupun at that time abg ipar aku pun dapat kad raya macam aku. Then, i dont remember weeks or days after that, i saw anuar's kad raya in the newspaper as he had given to some of the reporters and they had photo of it. I guess the one that i've gotten is yes, truly from him. Signature sama banget and barulah aku syok sendiri. hahaha... again, mizleo loser ^_^Bukan saje kad raya tau.... Ada satu raya tu, aku dapat had a conversation with him through phone. Tapi kelakar giler kot.... tak tau nak cakap apa. "Selamat hari raya" and that's basically it! Pastu, terkeluar lah ayat bodoh seperti :- " abang, saya minat sangat kat abang" WHAT THE!!!!??? lols ;D Actually it had happened without kesedaran yang logikal.

Itulah citer-citer bodoh aku bersama jejaka impian malaya...yang walaupun umurnya i believe dah 40, but he's damn good looking. His skin...still tegang...hehhe... Muka bersih dan berseri... and also fit. He is so fresh! I like fresh man.. Rasa macam suci jek diorang nih...and hygenic too.
And the best experience i've ever had was last october. It was a memorable surprise indeed! I attended a vvip's birthday party@dinner. I was seated membelakangkan stage. My table was on the right side of the stage and basically i have to move my chair a lil bit and i would have a good sight of it. I was with my sisters, bro-in-law n my nephew. We were quite late for the party and my BIL drove like hell...to one extent i had to inform him that 'I'm not married YET'. But, as usual he ignored it. His brother had been calling him for like ten times and he kept on lying about our minutes-to-arrived. So, once we arrived like 5 minutes after that, the party started. The emcee were blablabla...and it's time for the 1st performance. And guess what??? It was anuar zain!!! My jantung dah luruh dah kot once I looked at him. Though the performance was to the birthday 'girl' but it was indeed a surprise for me. Rupa-rupanya, ni semua kerja abg ipar ku, adik dan wifenye! Cis!!! Patutlah aku macam ok jek malam tu, sanggup ikut diorang. Bayangkan kalau aku tak ikut..(which takkan lah kan..diorang mesti paksa punya). And lepas anuar nyanyi dalam 3 lagu macam tuh, terus adik abg ipar aku tarik anuar datang jumpa aku...hahaha...tak terkata apa-apa kot. Statement diorang kat anuar:- "bang, ni lah dia yang suka kat abang n selalu kem salam tu". Jahat kot statement tu...dan sekali lagi, untuk membuktikan yang aku ni loser...aku pun berkata pada anuar zain:- "abang, saya minat sangat kat abang. abang hensem la". Hahahaha... mizleo is a loser...mizleo is a loser... i am a loser!!! ;D

Dan minit-minit pada malam itu berlalu dengan gembira yang tak terkata. Perutku yang pada hakikatnya lapar, terus jadi kenyang. hahaha...Thanx la to my BIL and his brother. They did make my day! Rasa penat aku siang hari tu terbalas sangat. Siang tu aku pi rumah anak2 yatim kat sabak bernam and gotong royong. Rasa berbaloilah. Dan seharusnya aku tak melepaskan peluang tangkap gambar dengan jejaka itu. ^_^

These are the photos taken that nite.

an inspiring meeting

2010-12-23T20:09:00.005+08:00

saya selsema dan saya tidak gemarkan situasi selsema ini.
what a day today....

btw, hari ni saya pergi bertemu dengan penasihat akademik master saya. betapa agak sukarnya saya hendak menemui beliau. dengan jarak perjalanan yang agak mencabar dari rumah atau pun pejabat, saya gagahkan jua, saya usahakan jua. beliau pulak bercuti selama 2 hari. saya pula tak sabar nak daftar subjek pelajaran. maklumlah...hampir 4 tahun saya meninggalkan alam universitas. tapi masalahnye, saya rindukan zaman pembelajaran ketika di iiu. with all the non-academic activities...yang berupa academic tu tak payah nak citer la kan. and akhirnya tadi, saya dapat bertemu dengannya, itu pun setelah dipostponed untuk ketiga kalinya.

he was a knowledgeable person indeed. from the very first impression, i could sense that. anyway, before i went and meet him, i googled him in the university's website. ternyata ia agak mengajaibkan (ada ke perkataan tu?)!! penasihat akademik saya ini merupakan seorang academician yang mengarah kepada pemikiran kritikal, kritis, kreatif dan sewaktu dengannya. saya pula seorang yang kritis dan kritikal. masakan tidak, kalau anda berikan saya satu masalah, saya akan menyediakan kembali kepada anda solutions, results, resorts, options, choices, possibilites, probabilites dan lain-lain. katakan saje, anda mahu yang positive atau negative. dan ternyata ketika saya memberitahu colleagues yang rapat dengan saya, mereka semua tertawakan saya dengan ungkapan - "elok sangatlah tu"!. dan saya hanya mampu ketawa dan gembira. di dalam hati, saya berdoa pada Allah, moga beliau dapat membimbing saya ke arah kejayaan berdasarkan pengalaman dan keluasan ilmu yang ada pada beliau. amin.

maka, saya pun bertemulah dengan beliau pada pukul 2 petang tadi. ternyata beliau looked much better than the photo in the website. hehehe.. we had a lively conversation. but i have to admit that from 100% he talked, i could only captured 70%. why? because his sayings were full of infos and of course i could not catch it up from the 1st meeting. it is too mouthful to be said and understood. tapi saya amat mengkagumi beliau. ntahlah bagaimana boleh terbit perasaan sedemikian. barangkali kerana beliau ada mengatakan pada saya yang beliau bakal bersara pada tahun 2012. kata beliau, sudah cukuplah aktiviti beliau untuk duniawi. sudah masanya beliau ingin menumpukan pada bekalan yang bakal dibawa selepas kematian. terpancar keikhlasan beliau pada bidang akademik. saya cuba memprovok beliau dengan memberi kenyataan bahawa academician yang sejati mempunyai passion yang amat mendalam tentang ilmu pengetahuan. beliau dengan tenang memberitahu saya bahawa apa yang saya katakan adalah benar sama sekali. tetapi, pada beliau sebagai seorang islam kita seharusnya memberi perhatian pada spiritual. he had worked hard before, said he. and he had felt the thick n thin, all the pain n vain. pada saya, he just know his limit. and i salute him for his alertness.

the most grateful moment that i realized from our very 1st meeting was that he is so fatherly. belaiu tak macam academician berumur yang lain. he has the sense of humor which i thank god so much. and he is open to any issue or subject to have a conversation with. he said, i am like your dad and whatever i said is from behalf a father's advice. and he did not stop me or demotivate me by any means when we had or discussion. he always encourage me by saying, you are still young. and for a few times he told me just do whatever you like. dont rush..you have your time but the most importantly, manage your time and plan well. haaaa....sejuk dada ku mendengarnya.

my ex-colleague who is still pursuing her masters there said that he is a kind man. do whatever he says and be committed to his lessons and you shall be granted with an A and excellency.

so dear ALLAH, i do'a for a smooth silky journey that will be full of lessons and inspirations. may it be the reason that drives to success. amin....

entry campuran merepekan

2010-12-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

it's been a while since i last wrote an entry here. selalu rasa nak mencoret any coretan tapi perasaan malas sangat menguasai diri. hehe... btw, lagi bape hari dah nak masuk 2011. cepatnye masa berlalu. seperti biasa, dah terpikir mengenai azam2 where i always think of it mengikut tahun baru hijrah. tapi dari 100%, yang bergerak hanyalah 0.75%. biasalah tu..anak pakcik ahmad memang macam nih.

dan bila sentuh mengenai tahun baru, one thing that i cannot ignore is my AGE. aku takdelah kisah sangat ngan nombor2 usia nih...yang aku kisah ialah...bila dah meningkat usia dan bertukar tahun, aku selalu akan fikir mengenai ajal. ntahlah, kadang2 masa duduk2 diam kat office ker, kat umah ker, kat toilet or even masa drive, aku mesti terdetik terfikir pasal ajal maut ni. sekiranya ditakdirkan Allah swt nak menarik ajal aku there n then, adakah aku bersedia? honestly aku tak bersedia lagi. teringin jek nak ada perasaan bersedia utk dijemput ajal maut. tapi aku sedar, ilmu di dada tentang dunia yang satu lagi masih kurang, n bekalan utk dibawa pun masih tak cukup. hhmm...maka, salah satu azam-azam aku merupakan memenuhi sekadar terdaya untuk mencukupkan bekalan bila ke SANA nanti. insyaallah....

dan semestinya aku tak boleh dan tak akan lupakan tentang arwah kakak, bapak n kawan baik aku. 7hb yang lepas, genap arwah bb pergi setahun. usia sebaya aku, tetapi telah diuji oleh Allah swt dengan hebatnya - leukemia. dan aku rasa Allah maha adil dan menyayanginye sebab dia telah dijemput dulu dari kami. sekarang ni, aku agak terasa and teringat2kan dia sebab aku baru jek nak mulakan masters aku. sebelum dia pergi, kitorang memang dah plan untuk apply sama2 masters. tapi atas sebab2 tertentu spt masa, kitorang postponed....hinggalah waktu dia tenat dan asyik keluar masuk hospital. sama-samalah kita sedekahkan al-fatihah buat arwah-arwah.

k, back to citer nak new year yakni zaman 'jahiliyyah' ni...(siyes teringat sek agama dulu ;p), macam2 perasaan ada. yang pastinya bulan january tak sampai lagi, tapi kerja2 untuk bulan january, february n march dah tersedia ada. maka dengan itu, aku dengan bersemangatnya pi beli planner n diary utk memuatkan agenda2 ini. dahsyatkan?? sampai dua jenis aku beli... (hahaha...ye ye jek...yang sebenar-benarnya, aku ni hantu stationeries.... ;D) dan otak aku kembali berat seperti selalu. bukan aku namanya kalau otak aku tak berat...hehe...

dan cabaran tahun ni nampaknye semakin berat. aku kembali ke sekolah!! uwwaa...to be frank, aku seorang yang tidak berfikiran jauh ke hadapan sangat. ingat lagi masa aku still sekolah menengah, where most of my friends were thinking of enrolling to the university sbg persediaan masa depan. tapi aku?? tak...aku tak terfikir lansung. bukan tu jek, nak kerja apa pun aku takde nak berat2kan otak aku nih. bagi aku, yang keadaan semasa ni pun tak settle lagi, dah sibuk2 nak fikir career. tapi aku believe that ur surroundings do influence you. masa zaman sekolah pun, bukan aku nak cakaplah...yang geng2 satu class and suke melepak kat belakang tu, aku di antara yang excel. spm agg tinggi juge...dan masuk universitas yang manthop! and since aku berkawan2 dengan mereka2 yang memang pandai academically ni...and mempunyai wawasan yang cemerlang, aku pun turut serta cemerlang spt mereka. dan kini, boleh la aku bangga dengan diri aku. agak kembang bila geng2 sekolah yang dah lama tak jumpa tahu tentang perkembangan aku ni. (ye, badan aku pun berkembang juge. terima kasih kpd bola baling). so, terlanjur aku dalam bidang education ni, aku kenalah daki setinggi yang mampu. dan ukuran kebagusan academician ni bukan sahaja terletak pada tahun pengalaman tapi, jenis gulungan ijazah apa yang kita genggam. oh, tak lupa juga apakah pangkal nama kita? dr? prof madya? prof? huhuhu...cud never imagine that.

whatever pun, i just live life to the fullest. insyaallah perbaiki diri from time to time.. wish me lucksss!

ausmat 21's farewell dinner 2010

2010-11-16T22:18:00.006+08:00

Semalam was AWESOME! Actually, it was a collection of unexpected moods n feeling's. Yesterday's night was a Grand Dinner Ausmat 21 at Empire Hotel. The theme of the night was Glam Grammy Night (if i'm not mistaken la).

Why unexpected? Mula-mula tu macam takde sangat perasaan emosi sebab this is merely a dinner and i've been to quite a number of dinners. But then, being in my career especially at this particular institution, we are already accustomed to farewell. And being a normal lady, emotions do take part..hehe...Mana taknya, to one extend there are students who i've taught the whole 3 semesters i.e. 1 and 1/2 years. So, worth it la kot untuk aku sedih2 bila nak berpisah. Lagi-lagi lah if aku went well with the class that i taught.

And yes, the great part was last night's achievements. The event's committees had prepared some awards to be given out and of coz to their friends la. At the same time, ada jugaklah awards for their lecturers. Guess what? Aku dapatlah jugak antara awards yang dipertandingkan... heheh... Dahla theme Grammy, terasa akak macam artis... ^_^ Basically, i won two awards and a lucky draw. What an achievement! The categories that i won were Ms Popular & Best Dress. So, semalam kemenangan aku adalah kemenangan hatrik la... Tak menang tangan akak bawak balik trophy. Berbaloi akak beli baju on that Saturday...all the way from Ipoh...hahaha Ipoh mali ;D

Dan dinner tu semestinya ends with photography session. They were all having fun as they've finished what they were working their ass off for the whole 3 sems. Saying goodbye to each other and hopefully will be flying together next Feb. But before that, results will be coming out this December.

All in all, everybody were enjoying the night and Ausmat 21 Forever~

bila gembira, ingat juga pada duka

2010-11-15T00:25:00.005+08:00

It's already mid November kan? Cepatnya masa berlalu. Rasanya baru semalam students aku fly to Oz n Nz. Tapi sebenarnya, junior diorang yang baru jek habiskan xm SACE before flying. For me, ada bagus and ada yang tak bagus when time flies so fast without notice. Yang bagusnya, we succeed in facing those days. Yang tak bagusnya pulak, rasa pendek jek umur ni semakin hari. Yes, we are getting older and therefore, ajal maut is just around the corner. And to be frank, I don't like when the time flies so fast. Tapi macam mana pun, ajal maut di tangan Allah. Kita hanya mampu bersedia bila2 sahaja Allah mahu menjemput kita.

Dan bila menyentuh bab-bab kematian dan kehidupan ni, ada sesuatu yang menganggu aku. Baru-baru ni hajat aku tercapai. Aku nye masters' application dan diterima. Aku rasa happy and excited to get back to school, tapi at the same time aku mesti teringatkan arwah bibi. Dulu masa aku nak apply, aku dengan dia la yang sibuk2 memikirkan segala-galanya. We always ym-ing each other till 4am in the morning. We discussed a lot together. She's the one with same 'kepala' with me. Both of us had never have had "mental block" when it comes to chit-chatting. That was unforgettable! So, setiap kali aku kena berfikir pasal masters' nye stuffs, wajib aku akan teringat kat dia. Lagi2 sekarang nih...sebabnya 19th ni ialah birthday dia and bulan december ni genap setahun arwah meninggal dunia.

Al-Fatihah my very dear friend. Semoga Allah menempatkan mu di tempat orang-orang beriman. Amin..

^_^

2010-11-11T14:51:00.000+08:00

usaha tangga kejayaan & kejayaan tidak datang bergolek (Firdaus 2010)

Thank you Allah ^_^

2010-11-02T21:12:00.002+08:00

oh my... i am blessed by Him these few weeks and months. betullah pepatah melayu: sesuatu yang berlaku itu ada hikmahnya. mungkin, selama ni aku agak dalam kesusahan...so, i guess it's worth it now... ntahlah, tapi saya sangat bahagia. i can't describe it but i am really thankful to Allah swt. Hanya kepada DIA yang layak menerima kesyukuran aku ni. kerana restu dan izinNYA lah aku gembira seadanya. Thanx Allah. I owe you... ^_*

Siapa kata anak En ahmad tak multi-tasking?

2010-10-25T11:31:00.003+08:00

Hoorraayy!! I'm totally DONE with minggu yang azab last week. Alhamdulillah it all went well smoothly without any major disaster. Aku berjaya met the due dates for both important things. The first one was on monday where i have to key-in the seniors' trial marks in the system. Basically the act of key'ing'-in the marks was not a problem at all but to finish and finalize the markings were the hardest ever... ;(( In fact, to make it more and more and more harder was when I had two codes of subjects to look after : ESLS and also Malay Studies. Totally two different languages but the ESSAYS are always killing me. In ESLS, there were 2 parts of written tasks - an argumentative essay and a letter (not to forget 2 parts of Listening Comprehension). Where else, in Malay Studies there were 3 written tasks with different topics/issues and depending on the questions chosen - there were different format as well. And of course, there were listening and reading comprehension. So, it was a success and i DID it! ;) Good Job Leogurl!

The second one was then on last friday. We the lecturers need to fill in Pink & Blue Forms to be sent to SACE Australia. These two forms are really needed to be filled in with extra and 101% cautious. These forms too are the students' future lucks. One of the forms is to be filled in with their School Assessments or generally known as Internal Marks or to make it more simple, their carried marks. So, these marks will be added with their marks from the real SACE Exam which they are going to be seated beginning this November 1st. And the other form is their predicted marks. It is very important for us to meet this due date because the forms will be made photocopied for documenting purposes and it need to be AT the Australia by this friday the 29th. And again, i've made it smoothly unlike last year where it was quite a disaster process.

In the mean time that I was supposed to do and get settled with all these marking and filling in forms, I was contacted by the Main Campus Corporate Office. They would like me to attend an audition for the Istiadat Konvokesyen's emcee post as well as the voice-over post. I did go to the audition and it was exciting! Emcee tu macam biasa je la kan cuma this kind of emcee is more formal and well-managed. As for the voice-over, this is truly exciting. Rasa cam nak ketawa and golek2 kat lantai bila aku kena baca this one particular individual's profile. Mana tak nye, I was already in the English mode. So, basically my slang, accent and style were already tuned accordingly. Tiba-tiba tengah read out loud tu (and of coz they were recording my voice), aku kena sebut "nasi berlauk and nasi kerabu hitam".. Makanya, bunyi benda dua alah tu sudah berbunyi macam minah saleh pelat bercakap bahasa melayu. Aku rasa sangat murtad bahasa and sapa-sapa cam yang tak faham tu mesti kata aku ni perasan bagus cakap english. hehehe... Kelakar pun ada gak. Nak kata suara aku ni sodap, takde la pun..Kalo nyanyi sumbang gak. Tapi tu la...semenjak kerja kat sini, post emcee dah macam melekat dengan aku. Apa jek events kat sini, mesti aku jadi emcee. Rasanya, staffs kat sini mesti dah bosan kot dengar suara aku and tengok muka. Tapi best jege dapat peluang macam ni. Aku dapat kerja ngan pelbagai orang from different departments. And of coz, I gained a lot of experiences throughout my involvements. So far, aku dah dapat untuk jadi pengacara majlis kepada 2 events yang paling penting kat sini yang melibatkan kedua-dua VC. It was indeed a precious experience. But, I have a confession. I was damn horrible in being an informal emcee. Sangat buroks...

p/s: Tu lah, sapa kata aku tak multi-tasking? Terlebih ada lah. On the week itself, I had involved in students's event and was a jury for the night. Siang lak, class full 24hrs credit. Sapa kata anak En Ahmad tidak multi-tasking? (",)

i'm gonna back to school! (",)

2010-10-13T13:28:00.003+08:00

alhamdulillah...Allah has helped me a lot...really thanking him for the smooth journey he had prepared for me so far. I never could imagine if i were to stand and face the vice versa journey. had been though, but never want to face it again.

i guess i'm back to school. i am so excited! coz i'm sort of missing the school days especially the uni days..i miss the theatrical works with frens...not sleeping the whole week in making our program a success...then, missing the nights in colleges as well..never sleep early n squatting nearly the whole semester....had been in 'suka duka' together...had my era of scooter n my lovely bee-kelisa car...oh my.....missing that sooo much!

but one thing that i'm afraid of...juggling both work n study at the same time. i always claim myself not to be a good multi-tasking person but all this while, i am multi-tasking things...a lot!

hahaha...i am so in denials. ^_^

still remember when i had the interview for this application. i was the first person to be called- lucky number 1 i guess...huhuhu... Initially, i thought there was like more than 1 interviewer. but then, it was only 1 person- a woman indeed. i could say that my interview session was not really an interview session but rather a sharing discussion slot between educaters (cheewaahh). ahahhaa... so damn poyo okay!! i can't believe myself in that position. but honestly, it was indeed a mature q&a session between me and the interviewer. now i can see the relevancies of having experiences in the field we are in to our judgement/maturity/openess and etc. for me, i should thank my current position coz without 'who i am now', i might not be able to handle myself well in the interview. you would somehow rather assuming things/conditions than knowing it truthfully. ok, lemme give an example. let say that u r going for a job interview. u would be asked questions like: "what if your students did this n that...and how would you tackle the situation?" So, for the new-comers, they would certainly assume that they could do this n that and etc. but for the person who had the experiences in handling the situation would definitely answer the question more practical and sounds believing. but then, it's ok. small matter lah tu! after all, siapa-siapa yang ada experiences akan memulakan hidup dia tanpa sekelumit experiences pun. that is why we said that experiences are a good reality teacher.

so insyaallah, my school life begins in december. wish me lucks and lucks...

Al-Fatihah

2010-10-10T14:03:00.001+08:00

People all around the world are waiting for this once-in-a-life-time date -> 10/10/10. Yup! We have triple 10s. In Malaysia itself, there will be many couples who intended to get married at this particular date. So the-very expected. Even for the very first Malaysian so-called astronaut (a visitor indeed) will be getting married on the 10th mainly because he was up there on this particular date before. Hhhmmm...okla...ada la jugak significant dia. Maybe for other believes/religions, the date means something..maybe according to their horoscopes and universe calculation etc. we never know..

but for me personally. back 6 years ago, my dad had gone forever. on the 10/10/04 and coincidently at 10.10pm. Al-Fatihah....

p/s: al-fatihah to my sis, my uncle and my very best friend. may their soul rest in peace. amin.

loooove hating people

2010-10-05T23:23:00.001+08:00

i am starting to loooove hating people. i don't know why but people around me are simultaneously annoying me: directly and/or indirectly. i am not pretty sure why am i so freaking easily irritated by all of them... from the closest till the one who aren't. hopefully, no one messes up with me at this particular moment. or else, something baaaad, really baaad will happen. if you think you are IN the category, then tell it STRAIGHT to your face.

p/s: btw, this is not because of PMS. mind that!

my bff - khom's engagement

2010-09-29T02:08:00.007+08:00

hey there! hari tu i did mention that i'll post some pics of our very own made and decorated mini pelamin and hantarans. here they are...! (",)

oh ya... dan ini adalah gambar orang yang bertunang iteww.... my bff

dan ini adalah kami kanak-kanak riang ria ^_^

p/s: credit to the photographer for the last two photos.

am always happy! sadness..u go away...

2010-09-24T15:22:00.005+08:00

hey ya'll... what a week after a long break of hari raya... right away from the break, students are having their trials since monday till the next wednesday. pity them though..definitely their breaks were used to study and i think they should. they still have a long journey and after all, i couldn't see how are they going to enjoy Hari Raya to the max. I am not sure whether I am already aging or insensible, but the best celebration and moment to enjoy is only effective on the night before raya, the first 2 or 3 days of raya..and of course on any open day's events organized by relatives and friends. but still, i have a student who did not completed his assignment on the reason of 'hari raya'....hahaha...maybe sebab dia budak sarawak kot. takpelah, itu antara dia dan lecturer dia.

even though exam week is supposed to be the most awaited week for us the lecturers...but it does not work on me.. had few things to settle...then had an interview yesterday...plus with cik khom's engagement tomorrow...kelam kabut semua. but then, everything has back to normal coz i have settled in completing the interview. gosshhh...i was so damn relieved! As some poeple who knows my 'weird' advantage which is i don't feel nervous when it comes to an interview...or back then in campus life, i am completely in control with any class presentations. bagi aku ini adalah satu keadaan di mana aku boleh klasifikasikan sebagai 'kecacatan'. most of the people would feel damn nervous. i have had a friend who nearly "committed suicide" (it is a metaphor by the way) when she had to do her presentation in one of the classes. the thing that had made her to do so was the class's lecturer who would never make any student finishes their slides. let say u have 10 slides to be presented in 7 mins. in his class, u would be very proud and lucky if you could present 4 slides. in some cases, you hanya akan sempat present 1 slide of the content jek. he would ask questions by questions until time's up! sebab tu la kawan aku ni sampai tak tidur malam and nak bunuh diri lompat hostel 4 tingkat. hehehe... macam aku ni plak, memanglah jarang giler feel nervous but that doesn't mean when i had presentations, i did excellently...biasa2 aje...cuma kadang2 teringin rasa berdebar...haha...leogurl cacat! lolss.. by the way, the interview went well i guess. never had fun in any other interviews before, it was such a motivating session i had.

apart from that, my best buddy is going to get engaged tomorrow. we had did our own pelamin from scratch. it was fun in planning the looks, the materials and definitely the colour! not to forget, so many ammendments too...hahhaa...and of coz the hantarans will be self-made and decorated..you know us...^_* furthermore, am really looking forward to decaorate the hantarans tonight..it's a fresh flowers decoration...! i'll post some pics in the next entry ya!?

with that, till entry meets an entry! (",)

;(

2010-09-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

it's been a week of hari raya... selamat hari raya korang!

tahun ni my raya was quite dull... for people macam aku yang kurang ada kampung ni, memang akan experience kekurangan kemeriahan of hari raya. lagi-lagi lah dah tua ni kan, raya is not that exciting anymore...cuti dkt 2 minggu pun tak membawa makna apa2...hhmm....

life is dullllllll..... i desperately need something new, fresh and classy!

god, help me!

winkwink*

2010-09-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

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anuar zain kirim salam kat aku and of course he still, do remember me. @_@

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~penat tapi bosan~

2010-09-11T00:55:00.002+08:00

Akhirnya, dapat juga aku bercuti. Penat betul rasanya 2-3 menjak ni. As in my profession ni, hanya cuti semester yang boleh diharapkan. Tak macam orang2 yang kerja di office. They can apply leave(s) whenever they want except for no tasks at the moment la. Kalau macam aku ni, aku rasa dah sesak2 nafas punya penat pun, harapkan mc jek. Tapi masalahnya, susah untuk gambarkan pada panel clinic yang some of us ni ironically sesak2 nafas penat bekerja. Hahaha...mesti doc pelik kan? Apa punya jenis penyakit la ni...hehehe... honestly, aku pernah bersusah payah berfikir macam mana tak nak pergi kerja on one certain day tu. Sebabnya, aku restless sangat2. Kalau aku pi kerja pun, aku lagi sakit otak. Why? Because definitely I need to lecture my students on that day. And I can’t simply lecture them on anything by any ways. Sesenang-senang topic and seterer-terer (apa punya word daa) kita pun, if nak lecture our students, we certainly need to be prepared. We might need teaching aids – these are the most important element in teaching, trust me! A lesson without teaching aids would be boring. Ditambah lagi dengan adanya students zaman sekarang ni, you 100%-ly need a fun and interesting method of teaching. Just to attract them...hhmm...

Yup, back to the efforts done on thinking the solution of not wanting to go to work, it was really a headache activity. You just couldn’t simply give your employer your honest reason(s). And of course you can’t simply go to the doctor and tell him/her that you just don’t have the feeling to go to work. You need REASON! Uuwwaa...pressure seh....

Tapikan, bila dah cuti semester ni, bila dah apply cuti sepanjang-panjang students cuti, akan timbul satu perasaan bosan kerana kita akan cuti panjang tanpa berbuat apa2 yang berfaedah (pada tafsiran context penulis). Paling-paling aku akan pi shopping or even window shopping. Agak2 dah habis duit dilaburkan.... shopping complex pastinya di-blacklist kan. Pastu, nak gi mana aje? Duduk rumah la. Kawan2 lain lak kerja... at the end, bohsan kembali. Makanya, aku ni kalau tak sibuk giler, mesti free or bosan giler. Takde istilah yang tengah2. Haaah...life is so complicated.

So, raya tahun ni aku cuti agak 2 minggu. Dan aku dapat menganggak yang minggu depan, perasaan bosan bakal tiba. Dan minggu selepas depan itu, situasi sibuk bakal menjelma. Dengan adanya interview yang aku tak prepare lansung dari saat ini, hinggalah job-job emcee yang bakal dioffer dan diterima, aku simpulkan jua – life is so unpredictable. Apa-apa pun, life goes on. Aku selalu percaya, segalanya ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Dan, aku redha! >.<

Dengan ini, selamat hari raya aidilfitri. Maaf zahir dan batin. Doakan interview daku berjalan dengan lancar dan insyaallah, kalau ada rezeki, aku Berjaya ke peringkat satu lagi. Amin ya rabbilalamin....

my feelings

2010-08-31T22:30:00.001+08:00

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my FEELINGS for you is like a Boomerang :

When I try to get rid of it by throwing it away - it just keeps coming back!

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TRUST

2010-08-31T15:57:00.003+08:00

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TRUST is like a paper : Once crumpled, it won't be perfect again

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kehidupan yang sebenar.

2010-08-29T20:58:00.003+08:00

omg! it's been a month and more since i last wrote here. alasan aku agak cliche tapi memang itu yang sebenarnya. i am soo busy. macam-macam la yang berlaku dalam sebulan dua bulan ni. naik pening aku tengok planner aku sendiri untuk bulan-bulan ni. penuh dengan agenda yang seharusnya out of my tugas hakiki which is lecturing. sampaikan hari ahad pun ada gak agenda kerja rasmi yang tidak hakiki. huhuhu....

Cumanya hari ini, aku dah boleh bernafas skit. lagi seminggu, cuti semester + cuti raya ... masa ni la yang aku nanti2kan. tahun ni aku and kakak2 aku berkecimpung dalam bisnes kecil2an untuk raya. kakak aku yang sorang tu buat kuih raya home-made. tapi kuih raya dia ada bape jenis jek..konon limited n special la...hahhaa...aku lak ngan kakak aku yang sorang lagi buat hamper raya untuk korporat. nak dijadikan citer, last week on friday kitorg dapat tempahan 100 hampers. kalo ikutkan jadual....tempahan ni dah agak lambat. mana taknye, kitorang nak gi beli basket dia lagi... itu belum kira if the baskets are available or not. and all those decorations stuffs..plus cookies lagi.. dan dalam masa 9 hari ni, kitorang mampu siapkan segalanya. actually on last thursday, we managed to settle and sent 50 hampers. and from there on, we are finishing another 50 hampers together with 7 VIP hampers. hanya Allah swt hanya yang tahu betapa penat dan seksanya nak settle kan smua ni. yang menjadi lambat adalah kerana we are waiting for my sis yang buat cookies tu to finish up baking it. just imagine, she has to bake 100 containers of 3 types of cookies which equal to 300 in total in such a short time. we did help her though but more focusing more towards our hampers' decorations. nasib i have many sisters...so yang lain tu help her out la..and thanx to my bff yang memang bidan terjun... smua skang ni fikir nak cari xtra income jek..so, ini smua dianggap rezeki allah di bulan ramadhan...alhamdulillah..

so, raya dah nak dekat. but peliknya, excitement semakin berkurangan. mungkin umur pun dah makin meningkat. agak tak heran sangat la nak beraya beriya...hehhee...

but so far, dalam pada busy ni...life has been good and aku selalu dimurahkan rezeki. thanx to allah and i am grateful for such. and seriously, i need to get a good massage and need to go beauty saloon after this hectic-like-crazy week. need something to pay off my hardworks!

^_^ ciao!

agrotek resorts ^_^

2010-07-22T15:44:00.008+08:00

jakun tak?

2010-07-15T16:07:00.003+08:00

hey there!

just finished the classes for the day. suddenly i felt the tiredness of having to teach for 21 hours per week. so damn demanding. thank god i have a good senior for esls class. they just need my humble guide to be better coz i believe they are in the right track. the other subject is malay studies, also a senior class. they are okay but need to work a lil harder though. the subject is not like other subjects in terms of u need to know and revise certain facts. it's more into critical thinking application in almost all the assessments. i would say it is quite subjective. and another subject is junior esls class. as sace board had change the wightage for the assessments affectively 2011, we kinda have a slight changes and differences in the syllabuses. that's the reason i need and had to re-study certain parts. and not to mention to actually prepare some new materials like powerpoint slides as well as practices. so far so good i guess...but the feeling of exhaustion is obviously felt. huhuhuhu....

tapi tadi class malay macam best jek..hahha...i was like ter-jakun coz in the lab that we are using for presentation had a touch screen computer and also internet connection. i was jakun coz having knew my place, it is not that IT-ish. who knows me would understand. and one thing for sure, the students never knew that the room has the internet connection. this is because, they usually use this room for special purpose and it is not a common classroom. only by booking or request, then u may be permitted to use. so, when they have to watch a movie for study purpose, or perhaps class presentations, they can use the room (rather than having LCD and a laptop to do so). and seriously i cannot believe it's a touch screen pc. had fun touching it though. ^_^

another thing was, when the students were doing their discussion, i took the advantage to use the internet. and what i did was to google their blogs. almost of them had one. and they are trying to find mine. hahaha..good luck guys. hopefully u guys jumpa. dont forget to leave a comment for this entry k!? ^_*

k, for kesekian kalinya, i nak balik keje awal... ddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... xoxoxox

ana fening sudeh~~

2010-07-12T15:12:00.003+08:00

first of all, hahaha...

today is the first day of the junior semester. however, the senior had started their semester 2 weeks ago. as usual...the first class that i entered would definitely be an ice-breaking session. but, today i did not do that. i just felt that they are so near to me. in that particular class, i have 4 malay male students and the rest are all girls - malay and chinese. so basically i just introduce myself, giving all necessary details of me and i straight away introduce and expose them to the subject as well as the subject's requirement. they were enthusiastic (of course they are) since this is the first day of their becoming 1 and a half year of studies in this institution.

one thing that i always ask for is for them to write on something about themselves, their expectations towards the subject, class and etc. it is just not for the sake that they can introduce themselves informally but i found out that through that task, many things can be observed. one of the example is definitely their writing skills and not to forget their competencies in all those grammar, sentence structure etc.

i just finished reading all their write-ups and i'm kinda pening already. they know what to write but lots of improvements needed. huhuhu...mizleo, their future is again in ur hands.

chayyok-chayyok!!

untuk firdaus

2010-07-12T12:15:00.004+08:00

entri ini khas ditujukan buat en mohd firdaus nasir - my besty.

last week i saw someone like you among the new students during the orientation week. he is an australian mat student. i wanna tell you before but i forgot.
however, today as i entered my very 1st junior class, i was literally shocked to see him in that class. hahaha....he really really looks like you especially when you were in matrix. cuma takde songkok and specs jek.

so, firdaus....i am gonna 'see' you everyday from now on. ^_^

chill babe..~~

2010-06-13T22:05:00.002+08:00

eeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

tiba2 ptg tadi aku hangin! sebabnye students aku dok msg sbb nak aku reply email.

memang ler aku tak kisah nak consult or whatever tru email. aku mmg galakkan smua ni.

tapi masalahnya, aku dah tetapkan before balik cuti ke kampung masing2...submit keje n consult topic ngan aku. n seperti yang dapat dijangkakan...ada jek la manusia2 yang lambat n contact aku tru email. ada jek la alasan2 yang kalo boleh aku tak nak layan n pedulik.

betapa baiknye hati aku bila aku try to put myself into their shoes....and if what they claimed of (the reason) why they submitted it late is so true. aku agak hangin and emo sebab: 1) hari ni hari ahad 2) sah2 off the due date 3) demanding me to reply it soon 4) ingat aku takde keje lain ke hari ahad ni?

tapi takpe la...demi kesian kat diorang, aku spend time (which i shudn't coz it's a family day-sunday) replying all emailsssssss there and then. n kerana ada pemikiran yang matang, maka berterima kasihlah si dia itu. sedap and sejuk skit hati aku. bila fikir balik, bukan senang nak jadi pensyarah ni. ia sangat lain dari cikgu kerana pensyarah menuntut waktu dan hari yang bila2. memang ada pensyarah yang tidak heran dengan request students when it comes to a non-working day. but for me, i think we shud try to help them anytime n anyhow that we cud. unless it is something ridiculous, then we shudn't entertain them so.

yang nyata, insyaallah dengan berkat kesabaran and keikhlasan kita, students ni smua akan berjaya. siapa lagi akan bersyukur kalau bukan kita kerana ilmu yang kita turunkan pada mereka itu datang dari niat dan hati yang ikhlas lagi suci. hanya allah swt yang maha mengetahui dan dapat membalasnya. insyaallah amin......

politik oh politikus...

2010-06-12T17:40:00.000+08:00

yeehhaa...minggu depan aku akan cuti. hehe..happy sangat sebab tiba2 aku masih ada 4 available hari untuk cuti..hoorayy...tak silap aku, macam dah habis jek cuti aku..tapi nasib en shafiq membawa perkhabaran yang baik. terima kasih en shafiq (off's clerk).

so skang, citer pasal lain lak. jumaat malam ari tu, aku dipaksa pergi meeting politik. hahhaa...dahla berkenaan politik, kena paksa lak tuh...ini semua sebab abang ipar aku. dia ni ahli politik n skang tiba masanya untuk diorg ni buat meeting kawasan. tapi, bila sesebuah kawasan tu nak buat meeting, ia perlulah cukup *korum*. skang ni kan musim cuti sekolah. ramai gak ler yang balik kampung. n abg ipar aku ni pun satu...salah timing nak buat meeting. tapi benda dah nak jadi kan...nak buek camno. sebagai adik yang baik sebab kakak aku mintak tolong, maka aku pun pi la meeting tuh. oh ya, the reason why the meeting kena cukup korum is because, there'll be sumone who will be inspecting the meeting. n syarat utama is meeting mesti cukup korum. what daa... aku pun pi la menganga kat meeting tuh. yang menghairankan adalah, meeting tu tak dibuat di dalam bilik mesyuarat...tetapi di sebuah restoran melayu di bawah bangunan politik itu. @apakah??@

lepas tu kan, merata2 aku tgk manusia..rupa2nya meeting tu dibuat oleh beberapa kawasan yang berkenaan. lawak giler seh. yang pasti, ada sorang pakcik ni pakai kain pelekat n kopiah (of coz with baju) bukan ke main ligatnya aku tengok dia dok makan. aku rasa, time aku perasan, adalah 5 kali kot dia dok menambah makan. bila time dia meeting pun aku tak tau. hahha...hishh..tak faham aku politik apa ni smua.

apa pun,bersyukur gak aku pi meeting pada malam tu. sebabnya,aku jumpa kawan sekolah lama aku. n the most interesting part, she is naib org besar daerah aku bagi category muda..hehe..(try to cover which party but i believe it is obvious so).... and all my bro in law nye org kuat for gurls are somehow the gurls n senior frm my previous secondary school.

however, it was not a bad attempt. but siyesly quite wasting of time too... yang nyata, meeting dlm setengah jam and the rest of jam is makan freeeeeeeeeee.... sah2 abang ipar aku yang open table tuh...huhuhu... politik oh politik....

~kenangan terindah~

2010-05-29T20:56:00.004+08:00

yyuhhuu....

(",)

adakah saya happy? hhmm mungkin...

kenapa happy? hati senang mungkin...

hehehe...dahlah! merepek pulak..

life's been okay after all the hectic days full of works & responsibilities..

mungkin itu sebab hati senang kot...hehehe...

walaupun kerja yang sepatutnya dah siap, aku lupa yang sebenarnya aku ada lagi KERJA-KERJA yang menanti untuk disiapkan before semester baru starts. cuma ia taklah dituntut due dates..insyaallah akan dibereskan since i have another 3 weeks...

ok, nak share citer lain lak. ;-D

saya ni anak bongsu...dari 7 orang adik beradik. 6 orang di atas saya semuanya kakak saya. maknanya...family saya penuh dengan perempuan.huhuhu...kalau anda nak tahu, rumah saya bila terkumpulnya semua adik beradik, gamat jadi nya. maklumlah...bila perempuan bertemu dan bermula bersembang. haish...mak saya pun pening..tapi irony nya, dia yang lahirkan kami semua 7 beradik and dia sendiri pening dengan zuriat2nya ini. hehehe...kalau korang nak tahu macam mana gamatnya keluarga saya ni...tak payahlah korang bayangkan. saya syorkan korang datang dan merasai kegamatan keluarga saya ini. bagi mereka yang kurang adik beradik atau anak tunggal or maybe anak tunggal perempuan....sah2 mereka akan terhibur dan gembira as well as how they wish they could be in the scenario...or even vice versa. hahhaha... ;D

tapi, kumpulnya kami yang perempuan2 ni akan menjadi lebih best bila arwah bapak ada. bapak jek yang sporting dan cool melayan kitorang. paling best ialah masa makan. meja makan sah2 tak cukup ngan kitorang semua...tapi hempet juge la...and paling kelakar waktu tu was when mak takkan sesekali join kat meja makan tuh. even kalau nak amik lauk sekalipun, dia akan amik sendiri dari periuk kat dapur. pastu, mak takkan sesekali akan duduk semeja ngan kitorang. alasannya sampai bila-bila ialah - "aku boleh tercekik kalau makan dengan korang". lols.. ;)) hahahha... and satu lagi bila arwah bapak suke 'curik' lauk kitorang and sembunyi bawah nasi dia. bila korang pandang pinggan nasi korang, udang/ikan/sotong/daging etc hilang. muka korang masa tuh cam sengal jek....sebab akan terpikir whether korang dah telan lauk tu ker or memang hilang...hahhaa...sah2 la yang lain2 tuh buat muka seposen as if they dont know what's happening...haaha....rindu seh saat-saat tuh..haishhh.....

and having 6 elder sisters is also challenging. tidak ada rahsia yang boleh jadi rahsia di antara kami. paling lambat seseorang tu nak tau pun mungkin dalam seminggu. sebabnya one of my sis is a stewardess. so, she is and always the last person to know anything. now, hanya ada 5 sisters jek. i have lost my 4th sister in 1996. when she was alive, she is the one who will always be the 'secrets keeper'. dia sakit and the inactive person. in our house, she has her own area...dia akan selalu lepak kat situ...makan ubat, rehat, tidur etc.. and setiap kali kitoang ada problem or gossips or citer to share....we will always go to her...and masa tu, setiap kali mak nak tau citer...dia pun akan pi kat arwah...pastu, sah2 la arwah terpaksa bukak citer...hahhaa...then, semua kantoi... (",) bagi saya pulak, arwah kakak saya ni akan jadi penyelamat tika nak selesaikan kerja rumah subjek lukisan. lemah tul kalo kena lukis ntah apa-apa. makanya, pada arwah lah saya akan tuju. arwah pandai lukis. ALLAH itu maha adil. walaupun arwah sakit, arwah ada banyak kelebihan. dia pandai melukis n also seni thingy. her hobby back then was jahit cross-stitch. if you guys come to my house dulu, there was few frames of her works. skang pun, we maintained 1 of it. yang lain my eldest sisters took it. hhmm....all the memories came back...

k back to it. sampai sekarang pun kami macam ni lagi. rahsia memang tak leh jadi rahsia. it is because we do have close bond between each other. we care of each other and this is the main ingredient for our good relationship. the latest example is this morning. i called(phoned) my eldest sister regarding "something". and at the same time, i invited her n family to come to mom's house. saje nak belanja my niece n nephew. lepas i hung up for like 10 minutes, my 3rd sis called me and asked something. ceit...dalam masa SEPULUH MINIT, berita dah tersebar! bukan pasal belanja tu, tp pasal "something" yang i just told my eldest sister. bila aku kenang balik, ish ish ish...kakak2 aku ni...lawak giler...and believe me...it will be the next GOSSIP for all of them esok dan hari-hari esok!

haishh....what more would and could i wished for?? i have everything that not all of us had.

am grateful! am happy! ^_^

perginya genap setahun...

2010-05-28T21:56:00.002+08:00

oh yeah...dalam pada aku sibuk2 hari tu..aku baru teringat tentang sesuatu..

perginya arwah nublan zaki telah genap setahun...

semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan berada di kalangan orang2 yg beriman...

AL-FATIHAH...

kerja rasmi sudah habis.

2010-05-26T11:09:00.004+08:00

hoorayy!! kerja rasmi dah habis....!!!
just keyed in final exam's marks in the system.
well...results are not that good...quite dissappointed actually...
and i can say that i am a lil bit afraid of the coming semester...
and definitely the real exam this november.

english paper was excellent.
i am grateful to have good students and also hardworking ones...
but malay paper was the one that i am not really feel at ease...
while marking their papers these few days back...
my brain was actively thinking of loads of possible activities that i could offer them...
to actually help them to do better and better and be fully prepared...
it is "malay for background speakers" paper...
but it is not that easy though.

hhmm...
it's ok...think positive!

go leogurl~ ^_*

happy and grateful ^_*

2010-05-10T13:47:00.002+08:00

i am sooo happy today!!! ^_^

ielts's results are out and my students excelled!
this is the first time i taught them the whole 4 components.
even so, there are few of them that i think can achieve more than what they get...
however,i am still grateful as what they had achieved so far...

this is what and how you'll feel when u r in the teaching field..
all u need is their success though they have troubled u before,
with their questions, behaviors n attitudes...

IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!

and i am truly happy with them (",)

xoxoxoxox luv.

%))#%^^(^%#

2010-05-08T22:11:00.004+08:00

ye...muka saya sudah sangat tanned..... ditambah dengan garis-garis sempadan yang berbentuk track racing motor di pipi mulus saya...

uuwwaa.... :((

macam mana nak pi keje minggu depan??? macam mana nak jaga xm dengan muka macam nih??

esok, sah bin wajib saya takkan keluar rumah...

sekian.