jujur

saya rindu

macam-macam

pelbagai & semua

pagi yg gelap kini sudah terang

howdy yo! n salam to everyone (",)...

sementara i tunggu my farmville tgh loading (which is sgt lembab skang ni) n my mood to do kerjaS yg agak berlambak...i decided to type in some thing...

Pagi tadi my mum got a call frm my relatives and ajak us to join the rombongan kawen (technically menghantar pengantin ppuan) which happen to be somewhere nearby our place. so, we went there. everything is alrite but there was one part of the kenduri that really annoyed us (my family n my relatives). sampai jek kat umah pengantin tu..we discovered that there was a karoeke session. ok fine...but then, it was damn loud!! ANNOYED & ANNOYED! ok fine! then, eating time...(not really sedap-but it's ok) tiba- tiba tgh masa makan tu...everybody was like looking at one place at the same time..rupa2nya ada show karoeke..tapi yang saya sgt amat pelik bin heran...yang menyanyi itu adalah bdk perempuan yang mungkin umurnya di dlam lingkungan 11 or 12 tahun...bukan itu yg memelikkan....dahlah budak tu pakai baju yg sgt amat tak sesuai utk wedding. dia pakai seluar pendek yg seharusnya di atas lutut...baju yang...haish...malas nak describe (sgt menjijikkan bila nak byg n tulis...)..rambut sah2 perang mcm gula perang...mata lebam warna biru (eye-shadow yg tak sesuai...) lepas tuh, budak tu nyanyi lagu dangdut n macam2 la...dgn buat gaya ala-ala beyonce tapi of coz tidak amat mengliurkan sama sekali..cuma yang menjijikkan...parents dia barangkali bangga dengan pencapaian anak perempuannya itu. tapi saya masih tidak setuju kerana anaknya dididik sedemekian rupa. mungkin saya boleh terima dgn minat dan juga mungkin bakat yang tak seberapa anak perempuan itu...tapi cara pemakaian dan tingkah laku dia adalah sesuatu yang tidak boleh diterima oleh sesetgh masyarakat. dahlah relatives saya dari kalangan yang 'alim..menggeleng mereka apabila disajikan dengan persembahan sedemikian...cousins saya yang sebaya dengan budak perempuan tu pun malu nak menyaksikan tarian2 yang tidak sesuai...masalahnya, karoeke session tu bukan sekadar nyanyian di dalam area rumah jiran. tetapi, dibuka luas pagarnya dan budak perempuan itu keluar pagar semata-mata ingin menunjukkan 'bakat'nya itu.

we were just speechless and decided to make ourselves disappeard from the kenduri.
sekian.

*sigh....

yeah..it is already 2010. i'm getting one year older-thanx to ALLAH then (",) but she didn't make it. i dreamed about her last week. we were attending a costume party and i wasn't sure about the theme of it. however, she's wearing an english gown while holding an umbrella. and without doubt, her english gown was in white......

i do miss her so much. she used to be the shoulder when i wanted to cry. i guess i cudn't cry anymore...she's an angel that understands me well and we used to share loads of things together. we do talk about our future, our aims, our dreams and many more. but i was left alone to move on the journey...

i've been trying to avoid writing about her but i just cudn't. she is one of the most important person to me since we were in matrics PJ..

sekarang, bila jek aku rasa nak share stories, happenings, suka, duka n stuffs...she is no more there. dulu, kitorg akan ym till 6 pagi sharing the moments together. nowadays, aku dah jarang on ym. coz there'll be loads of situations that remind me of her.

last weekend, i went to malacca n stopped by the RnR at seremban. me n khom had our breakfast at the restaurant yang dulu, the three of us lepak on our journey to PD...

i have lost 3 person that i loved most in my life. my 4th sister when i was in secondary school..that was 14 years ago. then, my dad in 2004. it is not easy tho to actually control our emotions and our memories with them. it took quite some time to do.

apa-apa pun, she'll be always in my mind forever...sedekahkan arwah al-fatihah...

huk huk huk :((

hehe....

just came back from two classes out of 3 classes. at the afternoon after 1pm will have remaining 1 class. so far, okaylah..too early to make judgement. but i think i can already predict the future. my esls class seems to be quite challenging. they are students of health sciences (pharmacy, dentistry etc.). therefore they are required to perform at the very best which is TER 90 and above. oh gosh!!! what a nightmare! btw, this TER is the university's requirement. if they could not attain this TER, they are not going to be accepted to any university and has to stay local. i don't want that to happen to my students. lagi-lagi la the previous batch agak ramai yang tak lepas.

btw, it is not the responsible of me alone. they have another subjects as well like maths, physics, chemistry etc. but then, teaching esls is quite challenging because ESLS is THE subject!

tapi takpe. mizleo kan seorg yang optimistic! sure she can punya la.. chayok2!! huhuhu :(

repeating the same process

new semester has just started officially today. had a staff meeting in the morning n in the afternoon, LoU took place as usual. but then, this year is a lil bit different. why? coz AUSMAT at my place particularly had received a CERTIFICATE OF COMMENDATION FROM THE LORDMAYOR OF ADELAIDE upon our (the program) excellent achievements in conducting the program. it was an honor to be proud of because we were then assessed from all the institutions that offered SAM globally. rasa cam bangga gak ar...coz i am a part of the program. and have been listened from the representative at the ceremony this afternoon, he said that this cert of commendation was actually an idea from the lordmayor himself..as he wanted to recognize our achievements all this while...therefore, it is indeed a very much well-appreciated heart that he has personally. hhmm... ^_^

oh ya..we also had a certificate presentation for the students who got merit(s) for the SACE exam in 2009. in a few last entries back, i did write about the moment my students had their real SACE exam that actually will determine whether they'll be either surely flying to aussie or nz OR not... the results had came out soon before christmas last year...for my esls, alhamdulillah everyone will be flying soon in february...(",) and my malay studies subject, 5 of the students couldn't make it a.k.a will not be able to fly. it is due to their results which is their TER that was not up to the requirement of either their sponsor or the university. it was actually sad to know that some of your students could not fly as they have worked hard ( i hope) for the past 1 year and a half. i myself did not have the guts to actually started any conversation with either of my students who will not be able to fly. they must have been frustrated, sad and it is hope that the parents could understand their situation. ye lah...sometime the parents will keep on pressuring their children..but i guess, ada hikmah di sebalik segala kejadian (",)

so basically, i'm back to the process of teaching/lecturing/facilitating tomorrow onwards. life will be busy as normal... i hope the journey goes smoothly n keep up the good work mizleo!! ^_^

~the best~

Some thoughts can't just be written
It is best to kept in mind;
Some thoughts can't just be expressed
It is best to be kept inside (ur heart);
Some thoughts can't just be told
It is best to be kept silent;
Some thoughts can't just be known
It is best to be kept understood (by urself).

a.v.o.i.d

i am avoiding things at this moment. so many things. but till when cud i ever keep avoiding? i just hope that things wud change by itself, and by the moment i am awake i really do hope it change.

go with or against the flow?

it is really near to the end of the year 2009. gosh...time flies like a lightning. but then, we are still here-at the same spot. ok ok...not 'we' but ME. my life does not change any little bit since ages i think. even though we have another month, i already have had my new resolutions in my mind which i will try my hard to make it realize, because it is very essential in making changes in my life. i really need to do this for the people i love-my family and especially my beloved mom.

kadang-kadang bila fikir what specifically that i need to do, aku sendiri pun tak tau nak jawab apa. tapi i sincerely feel missing...something is missing in my life at this stage...but please bare in mind that it has nuthing to do with kahwin...yeah rite.. =D

i also am worried with unforseen future...memang kita akan kata just go with the flow with our lives but then at certain extend, we have to set a so-called goal a.k.a hala tujuan. one thing that i realized about me myself is i like to go with the flow. aku tak pernah nak set anything in my life. cuma ada satu moment jek yang aku pernah buat keputusan mengikut kata hatiku sendiri kerana aku fikirkan bakal masa depan aku which was just right after my pmr results came out. i decided and be firm with my decision that i did not want to go to science stream but instead to art stream. reason? because i am so lazy to study hard for my spm. believe it or not? u have to coz it is the true story and had had happened. hehehhe (",) and i am happy with that decision till now and i never regret it.

being now in my position and state, my life is full of going with the flows.... tapi sekarang aku dah buhsan dah. i want something in my life, something promising and something that makes me happy to be in it. i am and do happy with my life now, though. no doubt! kita merancang and allah s.w.t yang akan menentukan. tapi tak salah kot kalau kita cuba untuk mendapatkan apa yang kita mahu untuk kehidupan kita yang lebih bermakna. kadang-kadang, manusia tuh suka sangat merancang sesuatu perkara where that individual has had things, so many things in his/her mind for his/her future. tapi, tak semua perkara yang dia rancang itu menjadi realiti. dan mulalah manusia tu kesal dan kecewa. and that is the moment where takdir takes place.

anyhow, insyallah kalau dipanjangkan umur, moga allah swt memurahkan rezeki serta mempermudahkan segala urusan kita yang kita rancang dengan niat yang ikhlas serta jujur. amin ya rabbil alamin.... ^_^

itik masak black pepper.

it was indeed a tiring day. i could say it was a tiring week. thought that i cud have a rest since the students had finished their semester and now sitting for their final sace exam. but i was wrong. academic tasks are done but then non-academic tasks are now waving and waiting...i am so tired and tired... my emotion is too tired these few weeks back. everything matters at this moment.

Dalam pada aku penat nih...kekasih simpanan ku dan juga kwn baikku sedang berada di atas pesawat...menuju ke UK untuk makan angin..kalaulah boleh aku terbang trus ke tempat duduk di atas pesawat...alangkah nikmatnya..huhuhu...tp malangnya aku sedang berada di atas lembik dan sedang menaip di blog ini. kejap lagi nak masuk tido dh..esk lps subuh jek dah nak shoot ke penang.

kesimpulannya, saya sangat & teramat penat & letih. sekian, terima kasih.

-

dihlimiikitktilismicimnih.thiriisinikitilismicimnihidilihkiriniikitidikbirininikminilissiciritiringtiringin.
hikidifjiiwidiritiixisidilikipini. biitpingitihiinkiringdinikijigiikidihnikdikitdiiminggiikitikcinticidii.diiidigikdiikilicibi
tipitikcikipintikikisidiphiti..ikibincisingitsingitikitikliritdih.
ntihiiipiipiikitilisnih. ikisiriwhitiwirititidikdipitdifihimiilihdirikisindiri.

sekian, wassalam.