three chapters in January

sebenarnya kan...aku ada banyak benda nak share here at this blog. but, i just did not get the courage to on my lappy n jot down what i wanted to. don't know why. it felt so burdening.
hhmmm... i guess i know why. coz my new year started very well.... very well until at one point, i could not breathe. as simple as gasping the air and exhale it. sigh~~

tahun baru 2012 telah menunjukkan belangnya dari awal lagi. seawal 1 januari. aku dikejar dan dihimpit oleh waktu yang tidak pernah mencukupi. setiap hari berlalu bagaikan tiada malam dan setiap waktu berlalu bagaikan tiada minit atau saat. i thought i had planned my schedule very well.... but i guess i had not. mana taknya, tahun baru aku dimulai dengan hutang assignments yang berlambak. okey...aku mengaku aku memang suka buat keje last minute. tapi bila aku buat keje last minute, i nailed it! and, as a prove, i got an A-. not bad though....alhamdulillah sangat2 pada allah. berbaloi la waktu2 yang aku sesak nafas demi untuk menyiapkan assignments tu smua and also mentelaah untuk finals.

itu baru satu chapter.

another chapter is definitely about my work. in this sem alone, i have 21 hrs loading for teaching. rasa nak tercabut lutut bila bayangkan keadaan tu smua. 21-hr is actually equals to 4 courses. omg!! it is so demanding!! tapi, aku gagahkan jua coz i accept this as a new year's challenge and i am pretty sure i can do it. u know me..... i am always optimistic..no matter what. of course, i need to be emo first, but then it is no problemo - at all!

cumanya bila teringat balik pasal sem 3 masters, aku jadi kaku. penatnya ya rabbi.....hanya allah jek yang tahu perasaan aku. kalau ikutkan aku yang tidak yakin, hancur luluh di tengah jalan. syukur jugak allah jadikan aku sebagai seorg yang selalu optimistic. only at certain time, i might be and feel breakdown. but most of the time, i actually ignore it. i am such an ignorant!!

that's another chapter.

the other chapter is.... i have gotten a new post at my work place. it's actually a cross department post. remember about my 21-hr loading? now please take out a calculator and press 2, 1 + 6 = . i am pretty much sure you'll get to see at the screen - number 27. yeap! that's my loading. yeeehhaaa!!!!

before the number becomes the issue, there is another issue comes about. it's the controversial issue about my post and sewaktu dengannya. i shall not write it down here...but i am definitely sure that i will remember about it all through my life. so, basically the controversy really gives me so much of challenges and obstacles. it is more to mental challenges. all i can say is that, i am not supposed to be at the stake where i know what's going on. i should only be the person who will know what about it and wala! - be it.

wo! three chapters in 1 month. we shall wait any more chapters in February. *woot~woot*