~aku ketika ini~

students

Siang tadi ada sorang stud aku datang and say bye-bye. insyaallah august ni dia dah nak fly ke US to further his study. tiba-tiba cam agak touching lak. tak tau nape... lg pun he is one of my studs yg paling rapat and baik. very humble n ngam la ngan aku..i've met his mom n bro once..very the ramah and sweet...ntah bila la plak aku bleh jumpa diorg lagi... n ntah bila aku leh jumpa my stud tuh lagi..maybe in a year time...

and talking about bila leh jumpa..last few weeks my studs yg dh fly dtg visit..deel made a surprise for me with their presence.. agak terkejut gak la...(kata surprise kan??) huhuhuu...sekejap jek masa berlalu..tup tup..dh sethn diorg blaja kat US n mcm2 dah terjadi..one of it was the most sad incident tu la...apa2 pun..aku tetap doakan kejayaan and keselamatan diorg.. i am proud of having them as my students..may they are blessed with success and joyful (",)

me and deel (4th from left)

at this particular second, minute and hour, i am supposed to be at section 6 for new students' registration. but then, mataku bengkak sebelah. bukan kerana menangis atau ditumbuk. tp sakit mcm nak naik ketumbit. tp kalo ketumbit, dia warna merah kan? aku nye tak warna merah cuma ada mcm naik biji warna putih dihujung mataku and at the eye-lid. pagi tadi bangun, mataku lansung takleh bukak and totally mcm kena gam. at first, aku dah kecut perut dah. tapi rupa2nya mataku dikatup dek taik mata karena kesakitan mataku itu. sebabnya, malam semlm mataku asyik berair jek. dan sejam yg lepas, biji putih itu mula pecah dan mataku kembali pulih seperti sedia kala. kesakitan pun sudah berkurangan....secara tuntas, aku ingin mengemas bilik dan rumah.*

* damn incoherent.

sangat penat & sangat rindu

sangat penat.

ntah macam mana tiba-tiba terjumpa satu CD yang penuh dengan gambar kenangan kala dulu.

kala masih di taman ilmu dan budi.

dan tiba-tiba terdengar tentang sesuatu perkara yang sepatutnya aku dah dengar waktu itu.

tapi entah kenapa aku tak terdengar.

mungkin dah ditakdirkan aku untuk tidak mendengar benda itu.

sebab itu sekarang terjadi begini.

dan kala aku dengar benda itu, aku menangis.

sudah agak lama aku tak menangis kerana hal itu.

dan kala air mataku berhenti, aku puas.

bagai seluruh beban di dalam diriku berterbangan bebas.

sangat rindu.

durian oh durian...

I have just came back from rapporteuring..it's been a fruitful and excellent 4 days attending the 17th Conference of Commonwealth Education Ministers (17CCEM) at KLCC. It was once in a lifetime experience whereby this conference is held once in a three years. Malaysia is the 17th commonwealth contry who had been given the chance to host such prestige conference. So, I wonder when would be the next chance that Malaysia will get to host CCEM. There were so many happenings that I would like to share with whomever reads the entry, but I guess I'll have it written when I am totally free.

However, this particular happening is the one that will be most remembered by most of ours the rapporteurs. We were having lunch today and fortunately we sat at the same table with the Vice Chancellor of one of the university in Tanzania and one woman who is actually has a high position in the Commonwealth organization. From all the topics that we could discussed on (most probably education), we actually did have a chat about DURIAN. Yes, the king of the fruit in Malaysia. Not surprisingly, the european people would have the perception and opinion that they really can't stand the smell of durian. My colleague-MUN shared with us that she watched a program about this guy who actually travels around the world looking for the weird food such as an exotic food. However, durian was told to be the weird food in the world. And it is all because of the smell.

So, this woman and my german colleague are the two ladies who cannot stand the smell of durian. And because of the smell, they do not get the chance or I could say they do not want to take the chance to actually taste durian for real. The smell is actually the reason for this kind of people to not wanting to have a taste of durian.

I never knew in Tanzania there is durian. And surprisingly they also called it durian. It sounds weird though but after all it is a fact. So, this VC from tanzania said that he had to hide from his wife if he ever wants to eat durian. Coz his wife doesn't like the smell of it. But this VC is really enjoying the food and its taste. At the same time, this european lady and a german colleague of mine have been wondering how this Tanzanian enjoyed his fond of durian so much in spite of the 'wonderful' smell. Both of them just couldn't accept it. This topic or issue raised is then brought us to a professional chat. Moreover, our three UM colleagues who are also rapportuers are actually scientists. And one of them is so-called master of science in plants. So, he basically knows everything about durian. Of coz scientifically. He was saying that durian has 20 types which I don't really know about it. And the best type of durian is D24 which is the most expensive of all. However, he also said that it is not easy to find the 'real' D24 type because of it limitedness and also difficult to find. The real D24 is usually being exported to abroad because of its quality. (only the best will be sent away, anyhow) hhmmm...

There was one part that actually attracted me. We were explaining and informing both european lady and german colleague of mine that durian has been commercialized. We now have ice-cream with durian flavour, durian jam , dodol durian and lots more. Both of them were actually shocked that we can have these kinds of food in durian flavour. Suddenly, the Tanzanian VC interrupted our chat and said that it never happens that somebody who actually has the courage to taste durian with his/her perception of the bad smell that durian has, will eventually says it tastes terrible. Everyone who tried despite the negative connotation will find it tasty and the tendency for them to eat durian in the future is getting high. The taste will somehow exceeds the smell. And that is for sure! hahahaha...ye ker? (",)

And how irony life is. The moment i stepped into my house back from the conference, I smelt durian. I thought that I am already cursed with it but actually my mum had just bought the durian. huhuhuhuhuhu...On top of all, I enjoyed my experiences of a 4-day conference.

hari ini

aku sangat penat and occupied

tapi apa aku buat kat sini - blogging?

aku tahu kenapa

sebab

hari ini

i've made it, u know

but it wasn't towards the entire day

it screwed just right before the noon

i was quite disappointed indeed

tapi semakin kita menolak

semakin ia hampir

allah maha mengetahui

and i really can't stop myself

at the end

i did it

half-heartedly

eeiii...menyampah

sungguh tidak tegas aku ni!

tapi

inilah aku

rapporteur

at this second, i am writing this n3 at impiana hotel, kuala lumpur. i am supposed to study a lil bit for tomorrow but as usual the internet always distracts me. i am staying here because technically few of us from various institutions have a duty assigned by the ministry of education malaysia. there will be a 17th conference of commonwealth education ministers at the klcc and we have been selected as the rapporteurs specifically for the youth forum. it is actually a big conference where all the commonwealth countries are participating except for few countries because of certain reasons.

for some people, the word rapporteur itself sounds heavy. to be the truth, the job scope of a rapporteur is also heavy. a rapporteur should be listening to each word uttered by the paneslists or the speakers and report it in a written document. for some cases, the time limit applies or else longer period is sufficient. as for my situation, we are to be given approx 2 hours and 15 mins right from the end of the conference session to convert all the things that we listened and jotted down to a final report. then, we shall mail it to our leader and once he is satisfied with what we have written, then our duty is officially end. and if he is not satisfied, we have to correct any parts necessary.

the thing that is the most important while doing our job as a rapporteur is the "accuracy". we can't simply assume that the speaker/panelist says something and that is what he meant. we have to be accurate and sure that any particular issue or subject is raised and touched by him. or else, we will be in a big trouble. as for in my case, one of the report done by us-the rapporteur which is the proposal made by the youth will be submitted to the ministerial meeting where at that particular moment the ministers of the commonwealth will read the report out and decide upon any approval of any proposal made. basically, these ministers will not be entering any particular forum. therefore, the report made by us will be useful to them and that is the reason that we need to be accurate at all time.

if we are saying that the participants are attentive, i am sure that the rapporteurs are 150% attentive. after all, i hope that everything will be fine and goes smoothly for these 4 days. i am looking for new experiences and opportunities in our education field.

wish me luck!

jangan terlalu mencari kesempurnaan

Jika kamu memancing ikan....

Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail,

hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu....

Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula

ke dalam air begitu saja....

Kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya ketajaman mata kailmu

dan mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup.

Begitulah juga ........

Setelah kamu memberi banyak PENGHARAPAN

kepada seseorang...

Setelah ia mulai MENYAYANGIMU

hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya....

Janganlah sesekali kamu meninggalkannya begitu saja....

Kerana dia akan TERLUKA

oleh kenangan bersamamu

dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya

selagi dia mengingatmu....

Jika kamu menadah air biarlah berpada,

jangan terlalu mengharap pada takungannya

dan janganlah menganggap ia begitu teguh....

cukuplah sekadar KEPERLUANmu...

Apabila sekali ia retak....

tentu sukar untuk kamu menampalnya semula.

akhirnya ia dibuang.....

Sedangkan jika kamu cuba memperbaikinya

mungkin ia masih dapat dipergunakan lagi....

Begitu juga jika kamu memiliki seseorang,

TERIMALAH seadanya....

Janganlah kamu terlalu mengaguminya

dan janganlah kamu menganggapnya begitu ISTIMEWA....

Anggaplah dia manusia biasa.

Apabila sekali dia melakukan KESILAPAN

bukan mudah bagi kamu untuk menerimanya. ..

akhirnya kamu KECEWA dan meninggalkannya.

Sedangkan jika kamu MEMAAFKANNYA

boleh jadi hubungan kamu akan TERUS hingga ke akhirnya....

Jika kamu telah memiliki sepinggan nasi...

yang kamu pasti baik untuk dirimu.

Mengenyangkan.

Berkhasiat.

Mengapa kamu berlengah,cuba mencari makanan yang lain..

Terlalu ingin mengejar kelazatan.

Kelak, nasi itu akan basi dan kamu tidak boleh memakannya.

Kamu akan MENYESAL.

Begitu juga jika kamu telah bertemu dengan seorang insan.....

yang pasti membawa KEBAIKAN kepada dirimu.

MENYAYANGIMU....

MENGASIHIMU....

Mengapa kamu berlengah, cuba MEMBANDINGKANNYA dengan yang lain.

Terlalu mengejar KESEMPURNAAN.

Kelak, kamu akan KEHILANGANNYA apabila dia menjadi milik orang lain..

Kamu juga yang akan MENYESAL...

thank god

pertama sekali, syukur alhamdulillah ke hadrat ilahi. segala kesulitan yang aku hadapi akhir-akhir ini telah dapat diselesaikan. hanya allah sahaja yang tahu betapa seksanya dan hampir musnah usaha aku untuk menyelesaikan segala-galanya. tetapi, hari ini ternyata aku sangat gembira kerana kesulitan itu semua sudah berakhir.

tetapi dalam pada aku bersyukur kerana tanggungjawabku terlaksana, aku diduga oleh perkara yang sangat menguji kesabaran aku. seperti biasa, penyelesaian yang terbaik dapat aku lakukan ialah membiarkan perkara itu berlalu begitu sahaja. aku sudah malas hendak memikirkannya apatah lagi untuk berbuat sesuatu. cukup setakat ini aku bertindak. aku yakin aku sudah cukup matang untuk menilai dan memahami keadaan yang sebenarnya.

to be frank,

AKU MALAS, PENAT, TAK PEDULI & MENYESAL.

tetapi tetap bersyukur kerana diberi peluang.

i wish i could turn back time to the years before.

horrayy!!

hari ni sgt gembira. syukur alhamdulillah..kan irda kan kan kan??? ^_^

~lumrah~

daku suka tetapi benci,

gembira tetapi sedih,

menyesal tetapi mensyukuri,

lega tetapi semput,

ingin berubah tetapi dihalang,

ingin maju tetapi disekat,

ingin jujur tetapi dipaksa curang,

ingin bahagia tetapi merana,

mampukah aku,

semampu engkau,

relakah aku,

serela engkau,

jujurkah engkau,

sejujur aku,

ikhlaskah engkau,

seikhlas aku.

di luar kotak

k. before i start my work which is to continue IT, let me express my feeling of TENSI.

macam mane benda tu boleh dilihat sebegitu? sedangkan ia amat jelas, terang lagi nyata. kenapa perlu berfikir di luar kotak (out of the box), sedangkan segala-galanya di dalam kotak? kenapa tidak mengikut arahan? atau adakah arahan tidak jelas. atau tidak faham bahasakah? "MA MUMKIN??"

aarrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

#sekian#