Thursday, April 30, 2009

~

i've gotten a message
a sad one
no
a happy one indeed
wait!
sad or happy?
why shud i feel sad?
but
why shud i feel happy?
shud i?
or
shudn't i?



i am confused
a long silence made me confused
but
there's nuthing between
then
why shud i


i thought
it would be
something
or
somekind

i thought
it grows
though it never meant to
but
i can feel it
know it
understand it


i thought u
you were
as well
feel it
know it
understand it


but
silence means
nothing


accept
silence
as nothing


understand
silence
as nothing


nothing
means
nothing


happy
means
happy


sad
means
sad


do accept

do learn

do grateful

p/s: both of them will be getting married soon

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

~kemiskinan, penderitaan dan kesulitan hidup~

Something to be shared and something to ponder about the difficulties and one's poverty in acquiring and achieving knowledge.

  • Kisah yang pernah diriwayatkan oleh Imam Bakar bin Hamdan Al Maruzi bahawa Imam Ibnu Kharrasy pernah bercerita:
"Demi mencari ilmu, aku pernah meminum air kencingku sendiri sebanyak lima kali. Ceritanya, sewaktu sedang berjalan melintasi gurun pasir untuk mendapatkan hadis, aku merasa kehausan luar biasa tanpa ada yang dapat aku minum. Maka dengan terpaksa aku minum air kencingku sendiri."

  • Imam Hatim pernah mengalami keadaan yang menyedihkan. Imam Abu Hatim mengatakan:
"Ketika sedang mencari hadis keadaanku benar-benar sangat menyedihkan. Kerana tidak mampu membeli sumbu lampu, pada suatu malam aku terpaksa keluar ke tempat guard yang terletak di tepi jalan. Aku belajar dengan menggunakan penerang yang dipakai oleh tukang ronda. Dan terkadang tukang ronda itu tidur, aku yang menggantikannya ronda."
  • Kisah Imam Bukhari yang diriwayatkan oleh Umar bin Hafesh Al-Asyqar. Al-Asyqar mengatakan:
Selama beberapa hari kami tidak mendapati Bukhari menulis hadis di Bashrah. Setelah dicari di mana-mana akhirnya kami mendapatinya berada di sebuah rumah dalam keadaan telanjang. Ia sudah tidak miliki apa-apa. Atas dasar musyawarah kami berjaya mengumpulkan wang beberapa dirham, lalu kami belikan pakaian untuk dipakainya. Selanjutnya ia mahu bersama-sama kami lagi meneruskan penulisan hadith."

  • Penderitaan Imam Malik:
"Demi membiayai dirinya menuntut ilmu, beliau sampai mencabut atap rumahnya, lalu menjual papannya."


Ketika aku sedang membaca sebuah novel islamiyah dan terbacakan petikan di atas, terus aku teringatkan studentsku. Betapa mereka mengeluh dan tidak menyukai ujian, peperiksaan mahupun kelas harian. Ada saja alasan mereka. So, I guess kisah-kisah di atas serve it all. Ini pulak petikan yang menyedarkan dari novel yang aku sedang baca:


{Bagaimana mungkin dia boleh lupa bahawa dalam kitab-kitab sastera, sejarah, manakib, dan thabaqat banyak dijelaskan betapa para 'ulama' lebih biasa bergelut dengan kemiskinan, penderitaan dan kesulitan hidup yang menghimpit. Namun mereka melaluinya dengan penuh kesabaran. Dalam penderitaan yang menghimpit itulah mereka mengais ilmu dan hikmah. Dalam kesulitan hidup itulah mereka menulis karya-karya besar yang monumental.}



# Ketika Cinta Bertasbih - Habiburrahman El-Shirazy (Episod 1)

kenangan-students: 01







Tuesday, April 28, 2009

pengalaman-students: 01

students a.k.a pelajar-pelajar.

students ni banyak betul jenis-jenis perangai diaorang. tapi yang sangat nyata dan fakta adalah students zaman sekarang dengan zaman aku dulu amat dan sangatlah berbeza. kenapa aku cakap sedemikian? sebab aku sekarang ni di bidang pengajaran. dan setiap perangai students ni mengingatkan aku kepada zaman-zaman ketika aku belajar. especially masa kat university lah. okay, kat tempat aku mengajar sekarang bleh dikategorikan sebagai matrikulasi. basically, the students are actually from 18-20 years old.

the first thing that need to be told or reminded to all of them is actually about the different worlds that they are stepping into now. sekolah adalah masa silam mereka dan matrikulasi ataupun pre university adalah masa kini dan juga masa depan. jadi, mereka wajib tinggalkan segala-galanya di dunia yang dahulu. dan mereka harus dan wajib membina masa depan yang baru di dunia yang baru. pendek kata, they have to start from zero. tapi, diorang tak pernah ikut saranan(what a word) ini. diorang masih terbawa-bawa perangai ketika bersekolah. i coud even say that they are actually not working into maturity but more towards childishness.

when i said about two different worlds, it actually comprise of many things. some of it are the wayS of thinking, behaviour @ attitude, study skills, time management, self management, discipline, expectations and many more. therefore, in my becoming entries i'll post stories that could be shared together as not to actually humiliate or accusing etc but rather to bridge the generation gap that may exists between them and them. and of course these stories akan kita kongsi untuk something benefial in the future.

Monday, April 27, 2009

aku m.e.n.t.a.l

it is already 2 o'clock in the morning and i am still cannot get my sleep. gosh i hate this coz i have 8am class. due to this complication(s), i have taken a quiz in the facebook. the name of the quiz is "What's your mental disorder". my result of the quiz is Bi-Polar. kahkahkah... i think it really suits me at this hour. due to it..i have found several photos that actually resemble my mentally disorder that i am, was and will.


ini adalah wajah-wajah sebelum result quiz dikeluarkan.


ketika ujian tahap pertama.

ketika ujian tahap kedua.



ketika ujian dijalankan.

ketika lari dari ujian.


ketika hampir berjaya lari dari ujian.


hari-hari selepas disahkan menghidap bi-polar (positive thinking!)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

annual dinner



last friday, my work place had organized an event which was our annual dinner. but then, this dinner is supposed to be last year's dinner but then because of the time and how occupied my work place was..it was meant to be on the 24th april 2009. nothing extraordinary about it. it was just a normal dinner which i think previous dinner was much fun. however, the theme of the dinner for this year was much exciting than it was. we used to have BLUE and this year the theme was RETRO, BLACK & RED. i was actually quite doubt with the theme as i could imagined that there'll be no participations from the people of the non-academics. surprisingly, they were actually sporting! they came with afro hairs and the back-dated clothes (definitely the men). i didn't know from where on earth they found that clothes. but it was fun to look at them, enjoying the dinner with kinda interesting karoeke competition. after all, the ballroom was actually fulled of people wearing black & red and to one extent, sakit mata memandang. hahaha... and i was quite meroyan as well to actually participated by doing special shopping just for the sake of the dinner. and of coz i was totally black & red on that nite...neway, sekali sekala meroyan apa salahnye kan??? (",)








~i do miss him~

i miss him.

the funniest part is- i miss him a lot during the weekends. i can forget him during weekdays coz basically i am very the busy with works, lectures and marking. but when it comes to weekend, i really can't control it. it is due to my openness of emotions and feeling during saturday and sunday. why? coz i always let my works out of the agenda of the days of sat n sun.

after all,
i do miss him.
a lot.

*sigh*

Friday, April 24, 2009

perasaan saya ketika ini

something yang memalukan telah terjadi awal pagi tadi. saya sangat dan amat malu! tak pernah perkara sebegini terjadi pada saya dan kenapa perlu terjadi pagi ini? perkara ini sangat tidak amat sesuai jika empunya nye badan adalah perempuan. jika lelaki, tidak mengapa. dan yang lebih memburukkan keadaan adalah ia terjadi di hadapan lelaki (itu).

uuwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......

amat terasa ingin menangis. kulit mukaku sangatlah tebal ketika ini. tak dapat saya bayangkan sekiranya malam ini saya bersemuka dengannya. pasti kejadian pagi tadi masih segar di mindanya.

Tuhan, saya malu.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

he's just not that into you

just came back from watching "he's just not that into you"...

my review is: it's totally a harsh truth!! but, it is the truth pun.
irda, i'm going to find the dvd as well. a good reference for me i think..hahhaha...

therefore, it is recommended for ya all to watch it.

p/s: my studs, u all bdk2 kecik lagi. so, my recommendation is not directly to u guys (",)

Friday, April 17, 2009

w.h.y

why
why things are not getting better..
why from day to day things worsened..
why can't it be something worth at its end..
why it is always happens when we are at ease..
why

Monday, April 13, 2009

this is my unhidden confession

i've been always asking myself (sejak dr dulu n specifically sjk i was in iium)...why do guys like their own kind? what's with this 'gay' thingy? is it sumthing cool to them or is it 'ketentuan ilahi'???

tolonglah...i am so damn SICK of this 'gay' thingy!! i am so truly damn SICK of a guy who seems STRAIGHT but behind us or let me put it this way - deep down inside him, he has feeling or shud i say THE FEELING to his own kind. and at the same time, to have a FEELING which is ANOTHER FEELING to a gurl/woman.

i'd rather see or look at the 'gay' people with their 'gay' personality. at least they are not that HYPOCRITE! oh gosh!!! how i HATE that!

God, i am so sorry for being too emotional but seriously i can't take this anymore. it actually hurts me more than anything could in this world.

and people, have u ever heard of the word 'repugnance'???? well, this is an expression of my repugnance of this disgusting fact(S)!!! and yeah..i am proudly announcing to the people out there that i've been beaten by this guy towards that another guy or i cud say 'gay' guy.

so, anyone who thinks that HE fits the shoe, i am sorry for being so daring but i do apologize for this coz i cant hide it anymore. my patience has its limit n i think i am being patient too long since we were in school. people've been hinting IT to me but i just closed my ears but now i HAD IT ENUF!!

-enuf said-

Friday, April 10, 2009

tak tahu lah

hithiriirinimiidkiintikminilissibiginiikipintiktihi nipiiki mistiidimiidsibiginimingkinkiriniikirisiikitidikidifriidimifspiichintikkimiliihkinpirisiin
kididilimblignihikitidikmihiminilisyingtiringtiringkiriniikitidikmihiiringtihikibinirincitiryi
wiliipinikinmimbibiskinnmiliihkinpirisiinyingidididilimhitiini
similimikitibitibitirisirindipididiititipinisibikitidikmissigidii
bikinkiriniigititipiikirisidiitidikwirtintikdirikiinijistlikiipiyingirdibigitiitidiikidihlimiikirisiikitirhigihhigih
pididiisibinirnyitipiikibiringgipintikpilihmkinininiminyipingirbinin
fickifflihpirgirbininkinintikdimikninyiikitidiktihilihjintinjinisipidiinih
jintinyingsikibiitiringsikititiitiipindiinimimingjintinsikipindihtirlipiniktilisipiipihihihihitipikiniki
skingniisiktiringitkitfiridiiskinipiidikihikiyingmimbiitkinitikikibirfikirsibigitiitiipinikinihdihgili
new topic:
tidikinkikirnbilikdirimiitingpistidiiidicikiptintingkikmilitintingkiibsissinnyikikmilitirhidip
ficibiiksibibnyisikiringkikmilimiminggilidinginfiibiiksikiringikitirsipididilimdiisitiisitiliingggggggg

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

i'm glad

alhamdulillah..my mum selamat sampai ke malaysia n home sweet home from mengerjakan umrah. she looks fine and healthy - that is the most important thing to me and the rest. she really looks fine but a lil bit tired because of the long hour flight and transit from karachi. glad and happy to have her back home.

meanwhile, cik khom telah kembali ke pangkal jalan iaitu ke rumah cik timah(umah mak dia ler). tadi cik khom telah mengambil segala2 harta pusaka dia dari rumahku. kira kalau u all look at her departure, kira ala-ala dia ni pelajar yang tersingkir dari akademi fantasia la.. siap tarik bag tuh..tu yg tak tahan tuh... hahaha...

itu je la. malas nak menulis panjang karena dia.

p/s: nasi kerabu pasar malam sek 7 shah alam sangat sedap! ~nyum-nyum~

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

thanx a mil, bil and tril!

mummy's coming back home tomorrow!
yeay! yeay! yeay!
no more makan luar kan cik khom!
thanx for the company...
need to thanx cik timah as well for allowing me in kidnapping you...
what weeks were it aight!?
(",)
thanx a millionsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Monday, April 6, 2009

kisah lempar ayam

Pagi tadi dalam lebih kurang pukul 3/4 pagi, ketika aku tidur (of course) di bilik tingkat atas, aku terkejut dengan bunyi pergaduhan dua ekor kucing. You know how it sounded when they fight kan!? Kalau siang, bunyi itu biasa aje...to one extent aku akan join diorang gaduh and terlupa sekejap hakikat bahawasanya aku ini manusia dan buka species mereka. Tapi pergaduhan ini berlaku ketika pagi2 buta di mana semua orang sedang diulit mimpi. It sounded so scary coz I've been awaken by its sounds. Dahsyat gak la diorg gaduh. I thought si cik khom akan sedar bunyi tuh..tp bila aku pandang dia....dia sah2 tak heran lansung ngan bunyi tuh (tido mati minah tuh!) Agak nyampah juge lah ketika itu kerana aku disalut perasaan ketakutan seorang diri. Tapi, as usual, aku buat2 tak tahu and terus tido-n I've made it. Esok siangnya aku tak kuar umah lansung coz I was really not feeling well (khom knew it). Then, masa petang skit when it was time to go the clinic (routine for almost 3 weeks), cik khom realized that there was something on my car bonet. Nak tau apa? Seketul daging ayam bahagian isi- ala2 fillet ayam la. And aku terus teringat kat kucing2 bengap yang bergaduh pagi tadi. Tapi mana diorg cekau daging ayam pagi2 buta kan? Scary gak bila fikir balik... Dahlah diorg gaduh susah payah, pastu diorg tinggal atas kete aku lak. Lagi la aku confused... (maklumla..aku kan suka critical thinking nih) hehehhee...
And di kala itu juga cik khom dengan gembiranya mengimbas kembali citer zaman muda belia I di mana seorang jejaka kampung yang tergila2kan I selama beberapa tahun ingin "melempar ayam" kepada daku. (ini cerita benar). Aku tak ingat sangat dah specific story about lempar2 ayam nih. Cuma, ironically it reminds me of old days..hahaha...Ntah apa2 ntah mamat tuh...suka kat aku tp nak lempar ayam kat aku...Kuang asam! Korang mungkin terponder n wonder why he wanted to lempar 'ayam' to me aight!? Trust me it is very long story n hanya org2 terdekat jek yang tahu (which equals to satu Kg. Raja Uda). Whatever la kan... Yang penting skang he's married with a kid. Still sekampung and dah lama tak terserempak ngan dia. Bila kenang2 balik citer2 dia...sangatlah kelakar and immatured.
-sekian-
(",)

~random memories~ (",)








Sunday, April 5, 2009

WE ARE THE DENIALS

TIME FLIES SO FAST. I AM BACK TO MY SAD, BORING AND PATHETIC MODE. I REALIZED THAT I REALLY NEED DISTRACTIONS - TO DISTRACT ME FROM THINKING, PONDERING AND ACCUSING. AFTER ALL, I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING - A WOMAN SPECIES - THAT FULL OF EMOTIONS BUT YET STILL RATIONAL AND MATURE IN DECIDING THE FUTURE. SEE! ONLY RATIONAL PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF THEIR 'FUTURE'. COZ IRRATIONAL PEOPLE WOULD NOT THINK OF THEIR 'FUTURE' BUT INSTEAD THEIR 'CURRENT' CONDITION & SITUATION. AND THOSE IRRATIONAL PEOPLE WOULD ONLY THINK OF THEMSELVES WITHOUT BOTHERING THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM. AND THEY THINK THAT THEY HAVE DONE AND DECIDED THE BEST OPTION THAT THEY COULD THINK BUT WHAT THE ........... .
THE CONCLUSION IS, NOTHING COULD SATISFIED US THE HUMAN BEING. AND NOTHING IS CORRECT AND PERFECT AS WELL. WE ALWAYS ASK FOR MORE WITHOUT REALIZING THAT WE 'ALREADY HAD' THE BEST. ITS TRUE THAT PEOPLE SAY, THE BEST IS IN FRONT OF OUR EYES BUT WE COULD NOT SEE IT COZ WE TEND TO FIND SOMETHING FAR AND IMPOSSIBLE.
THE FACT IS THAT WE ARE THE 'DENIALS'.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

COOL PLACE TO CHECK OUT!



Few days ago, me, bb, khom n thiiah went to NZX sumwhere in PJ to have our 'so-called' lunch. Why 'so-called' lunch? Coz at that time, it was already 4pm nearly to 5pm. After all, we all tak peduli dah...coz sgt lapar n we didn't have our lunch yet. So, that day's lunch location was at NZX at Ara Damansara. Nama restaurant tu ialah FULLHOUSE. Concept restaurant tu ala2 Korean coz sama lah ngan citer korean yg Fullhouse tuh. Location restaurant tu agak terpencil coz NZX tu tak terkenal sgt lagi area tuh.


FOOD REVIEW: Makanan kat situ sedap n affordable. The quantity justifies the taste. Tak yah ckp pjg2 la..memang sedap n satisfied.


ENVIRONMENT: Peaceful, so purely divine (hahaha - suci daa) coz everything in white...Suitable for family and of coz very romantic for couples n partners... Sangat suci! (",)

So, just view the photos coz we were totally tiba2 jadi cam giler camera n giler bergmbr. So, if u guys ada peluang, do visit n try the food there - guarantee best!
And lupa nak beritahu, it's not just a cafe/restaurant, but ada gak sell various things yang cool n cun. As a result, me n thiiah dah ter'shop' skit kat situ..Agak bahaya untuk kaum perempuan la yek.. hehehe...












Thursday, April 2, 2009

life

life is chaotic and hectic!!!
masa...cepatlah berlalu...