I am wrong.

Hey u,

I said once that u never get serious with whatever u do with me.
But u have proved me wrong.
I am totally wrong!
Coz u had seriously deleted me from ur picture.
And what's left with me?
Ur memories, our memories.

Missing u a bit tho.

But i guess i was the one who decided that.
And i ought to adhere to that decision of mine.
And face it. Accept it. Let it.

Hope u r happier n happy.

Bye.

Lucky i am

Yippiee!!! ^_^ Alhamdulillah..

I won a lucky draw!! And i won an Electrolux microwave oven.
It has been two years in a row i won lucky draws at my work place's appreciation nite.

Last year, i won a lucky draw (a hamper) as well as an award- Pensyarah Cemerlang 2010. That was amazing n double happiness.

Before this, i was very unlucky. Takde rezeki i would say. But the first lucky draw i've gotten was a towel. Hahaha... Frust kot masa tu tp i said to myself, okla tu.. Towel is useful apa... The best part is, sampai sekarang towel tu masih ada dalam paper bag yg i received frm that nite... Hehehe that was like...4 years ago kot... ^_^

gembira, gembira juga. Esok ( sbnrnya today) ada 1 ptation to prepare!!! Tp tak siap lagi pun. Even though 8-10mins jek... Tp graded kot!! N it is an individual presentation!!!

So, i better go off to sleep n wake up early. Orrr..... I shud shoot my head.

Nite2 world ~,~

To ponder and to wonder

Hey yo! Dah lama nak menulis tp tak tertulis2. Bzkah?? Bz mmg bz... Buat2 bz pun ada juga. >.<

Now, i'm in my lecture room in upm. Having a break for 10-15 mins. Grab the chance to update few thoughts.

This lecturer of mine is sooo nice. He is so fatherly..lembut jek bila berkata, tapi takde lah sampai tahap nak mengantuk.

We actually had just resumed our lectures. Before this, we had a 1 month leave coz my lecturer went to perform Hajj. N we are supposed to submit three things that i did mentioned in the previous entry. But he is so kind coz he already postponed it twice. And it wasn't on our request but totally from him. Coz he really thinks that we should have been given more time. I think he feels guilty for leavingp his 'children' without guidance for the whole month to prepare our research proposal.

Tapi the most amazing thing is....we still haven't finish our assignments pun.. Hhmmm... Apa nak jadilah.

My life is so irony. I am teaching n at the same time studying. But to one extent, i did some things that i obviously do not want it to happen in my class. But again, the lecturers here are fine with it coz they do realize that their students are no more kids but grown-ups who have commitments and other responsibilities.

The conclusion is- life is so wonderful to be explored and reflected. Try to make some times and do ponder about it. Tak rugi pun... It's also a matter of muhassabah diri.

K y'all.. Till entry meets entry.
Luv.

U lazy bam bam

Omg!! It's already near to noon n i have not gotten up frm my bed yet. It is supposed to be a productive day today. Doing laundry...some cleanings...n also cook (if i may n have the mood) hehehe..

Well, wake up leogurl!!! Be productive!!

Jadual 2 minggu

Can i share something?? May i express and let it be known. It's too heavy to be kept inside. It's my job listsssss.

The whole two weeks should be filled with finishing the assignments given bit by bit. There are 3 article reviews/critiques, 1 assignment, 1 research proposal, 1 final project aka replacing final xm's marks and not to mention - tonnes of works both at workplace n school.

Therefore, this weekend is totally be worshipped to school assignments. Tuesday - Halalan Tayyiban Seminar, Thursday & Friday - OBE Workshop, next Monday - Conference's rehearsal (emceeing job again), Tuesday - submission of research proposal & KTJ's midterm, Wednesday & Thursday - the INCUE Conference, Saturday - graded seminar.

Well... That is basically my schedule at the moment. The day that is not mentioned will be dedicated specially to school assignments...

Sekian, sedikit lega setelah meluahkannya dan mencatatkannya di sini.
Doakan saya segala rahmat dan berkat. Terima kasih!

Escapade to the forest!

Had fun resting in the forest after such a tiring months and tones of unfinished works. Following my students for their activities was actually a responsibility that i could not say no (coz i doooo wanna follow them). As an advisor, it's a great opportunity to grab...plus with the good timing, i did enjoy it so much!

My students were doing their camping as well as some activities. Luckily it wasn't that deep into the woods.

All in all, i enjoyed it n am happy ^_^

Cudn't help it!!

Sorry but i just cudn't help it in expressing my relieve!! It was a crazy hell days, weeks, months and years.... And today, it is officially came to its end. Feel soooo relieved but unfortunately, life has to go on. Btw, one of the many is settled.

I never had imagined my situation would be like this. But i do thank Allah. For giving me the chance to breathe in in His world, for letting me to experience life, for teaching me with sooo many lessons and loads more.

I do really, really appreciate all the things that had happened, is happening and will be happening. No matter how hard it is, how challenging it will be... I will be always ready for that moment.

After all, real life could definitely not be "Happily ever after".

You go girl!! ^_^

laalaa lalalalaa laa lalalaa.. (smurfs' lullaby)

yeehhaaaa!!!

sila refer kepada link ini --> rezeki untukku

entry yang lepas ini aku menceritakan bahawa aku dah pun mem'buat' rumah di tepi pantai.
just would like to share that i am already 'moved' in to the new beach house...
=(

why sad icon??

ohh...it is soooo challenging. to one extent i feel like running away to the farthest place that i could.
but where to? will i be free then? maybe for a while but not for long....

see! entry ni pun aku tulis separuh jalan.. and bersambung now. it eventually took me nearly 2 weeks to complete it.

oh. saya agak penat. tapi saya tetap berpegang kepada pepatah nan satu ini:

bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian.

sekian.

always

~ you have always understood me. no one ever does just like you did.
thank you so much. ~

love ya - u know who u are >.<

SO MUCH!

I JUST HATE THEM NOW!
THEY ARE TOO DEMANDING!
PLEASE HAVE A BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE!

SORRY, BUT IT'S JUST TOO ANNOYING!
COULDN'T CARE LESS FOR THEIR EMOTIONS!

oh wait!

aku rasa macam nak termuntah jek.
banyak sangat kerja yang mengikut dan menunggu aku.
it's not about procrastination - na ah...
it's just purely works.
this week is supposed to be my mid-semester break...but i do not break at all!!
tiba-tiba kerja office plak berlambak.
by right, the students are having their study leave.
their real exam is coming on the 1st Nov.
i am supposed to enjoy breathing.
i am supposed to mark students' assignments that are really meant to be marked at this time.


oh wait!
what do i do for a living?
i mean my work?
what is my job again?
lecturing.
oh....i am a lecturer!
i nearly forget that.
how could i?
blame the privatization.
blame on the fact that i am among the capable ones to do multi-tasking.
blame it, blame it, blame it....blame....
but i thought i hate multi-tasking..
? ? ?

selfish?

oh my and my....

today is really a productive Monday. it is very seldom for me to have a productive Monday. coz i really hate Monday..by its nature. well..i'm a normal human being though. but this is not what i would like to talk about. i would like to talk about something else. something about, should i be a selfish person or just be as sincere as i could?

this question always come to my mind recently. it had always but currently it's more often. 

i just don't understand how people could not give a damn to something important in a particular situation.

ok, let me give 2 examples; 1 from the career perspective and another 1 from study life perspective.

1) somebody who does not bother to give attention to something that is important to him/her now or in the future. AND then, menyusahkan orang lepas tu when he/she found out that he/she needs it desperately.

2) in studies, do not bother to take any notes or slides given by the lecturers..and bila nak exam or test or whatever, terhegeh2 menyusahkan orang dgn nak meminjam bila orang nak guna.

oh benci sungguh aku bila ada orang2 macam tu di sekeliling aku. minta dijauhi lah aku untuk berkelakuan sedemikian. after all, i have learnt the lessons all this while. common la! kalau budak2 sekolah, aku bleh terima. tapi ni, dah besar panjang dah. tolonglah have some respect and responsibility to yourself. bukannya untuk orang lain, tapi untuk diri sendiri...

tapi one thing that makes me think twice is should i be selfish? i meant by not helping people in need? aku rasa it depends on the condition jugak. if let say i know that that person is not purposely neglecting his/her responsibilty, aku boleh tolong. tapi kalau obviously dia buat2 tak nak amik tahu and bila tiba-tiba benda tu diperlukan, and dia pun terhegeh2 minta tolong...aku rasa aku reluctant kot nak tolong. but still, aku boleh tolong with one condition. if he/she ask me the favor tidak pada waktu yang diperlukan dan dalam keadaan yang sangat kelam kabut and critical. 

atau, patutkah aku tidak mengendahkan itu semua dan cuba untuk seikhlas hatiku membantu sedaya yang mungkin? tanpa mengungkit? tanpa mengira? tanpa alasan? mungkin suatu ketika, aku di pihak yang memerlukan bantuan sedemikian rupa?

sigh~

planed - unplanned

i do need to jot down few things...before i cracked my head doing homework. 

my weekend's plan is totally screwed. i have planned well for the past how many days before it. but suddenly, i was given a take home assignment from my lecturer on friday night's lecture. that particular take home assignment should be submitted on tuesday before 5pm. unfortunately, i have to finish it up before tuesday! gosh! why? coz i need to go for an out-station to malacca at 6am on that tuesday. so, i better finish up my assignment by monday night. not to forget, to email him on that night too.

how funny to see that all of us were persuading our lecturer to give us some time out for the due date. yeah la...most of us will not have any class on tuesday...and to come over to upm just to submit our work?? sighh.... some more, got 1 student all the way from muar johor. but, my lecturer was so firm. he gave us options to submit our work.. to email, to scan n email, to use post laju....or by any mean, just get that assignment either in his mail inbox or pigeon hole by 5pm tuesday. 

and this assignment is not about writing up answers for questions in an essay form. but rather, calculations required. pening giler otak aku.... to understand it deeper before i could get the correct answer by using the formula given. can't simply add, minus, etc but i need to understand the thing before i could touch the calculator.

so, the moral of the story is nothing that we have planned would definitely be exactly like what we wanted. there might be rain in the middle of the sunny day. it's up to us on how do we solve it or face it. but one thing for sure, it happen for a reason. therefore, we cannot grouse of it. just take it as a challenge and give ur best! Allah maha mengetahui dan maha adil.

go leo! go leo! ^_^

sing-a-pura

hey ya'll!! wassup? hehehe... this is penangan buhsan tahap cipan...walaupun aku tak sepatutnya bosan sebab i have piles of works that need my attentionssss..huhuuhu...

i haven't shared my journey to singapore kan? allow me then...

i went to singapore last june after so many years..i guess since my childhood when i was in primary school i think.so i went with my sis- k yoes n family (bro-in-law & zairyll) and k ilah too.

basically went shopping the night of the arrival n followed with Universal Studios Singapore (USS) on the following day. USS was quite okay. but i am terribly being unfair coz i was comparing USS with the original Universal Studios in US. i already went there back then and i was quite expecting similar experience to it. i understood as there will not be that many rides but maybe among the best rides they could offer. in the end, i was quite disappointed. yang penting, i dapat jumpa my favourite boyfriend!! sapa lagi??? tentulah SHREK! ;))
so here are some photos of it while i was there.

 

Thank you so much =)

short term memory lost!?

ishh...aku ni betul2 short term memory la! bahaya betul.. sekali pandang, mcm kelakar, dua kali pandang, dah mcm org tak betul aku nih...

kenapanye?

sem baru aku dah start dlm dua minggu. initially, i took 4 subjects and then i dropped one of it. couldn't bare the loads as well as some complications (i should have taken research method before i added this subject). so far ok la... tapinya, these three subjects that i am taking now require loads of hard work! not only hard work but LOADS of it. aku dah mula rasa symptom berat2 otak ni. as usualla kan aku nih.... @_@

tapi, yang kena mengena dengan short term nye adalah when i need to look over previous assignments from last semester. coz it has some subject relations to the current studies. so, when i was going through the readings, i could not even remember that i wrote that assignments. the words, the phrases, the sentences were awkward to me (tapi nasib la it was a good language.ehehehe )

sekarang end of september kan? i wrote that assignment when it was in april...bape bulan lah sangat kan?

i think i need to do some check-ups la...risau la plak...tak pasal2 hilang ingatan nanti.

insyallah, allah perlihara aku dari kesulitan yang tak tertanggung...amin...

hakikat yang hakiki

selamat pagi!

dah lama rasanya tak buat perangai tido lambat dekat 4 pagi....
tanyalah buat apa?
tanyalah!
tanyalah!!!


marking papers~~

pastu, cam biasa..... esok ngelaaaatt sangat nak bangun tido.

yang bestnya, ada lagi papers yang nak ditanda esok before 2pm...

rasa-rasa cam nak buat sakit....tapi tak baikkan? mendoakan diri sendiri musibah...

k la, gue mau paksa diri ini titoooo... ^_^


luv ya~

di kala

just finished watching a movie given and recommended by my student. it is a thai movie.

genre? luv story. (",)
comment? so sweeett ^_^
perasaan? feel like a loser, always :L
moral of the story? terimalah hakikat :{
hikmah? bitter is actually sweeter ;-]

sekian, selamat pagi.

=)

=)

i dont feel optimistic at all

for the first time after sooooo long..i really feel demotivated!!!!! i feel stressed, depressed and all the negative things! rasa cam nak operate jek brain ni and cuci guna clorox. ;(((((

this is so not me..but i do understand. kita tak leh sangkakan panas sepanjang hari. mesti hujan datang menjenguk di tengahari or may be petang, or malam or even pagi2. macam semalam. hujan lebat yang amat sangat started from 1 pm up till the nite. it was a disaster for me coz i need to go my masters class. it was so heavy rain...but yet, aku boleh tertido ketika driving.ekekeke...alhamdulillah everything was fine and i reached campus just on time. ingatkan hujan dah berhenti after my second class...but na-ah....it rain again...it really gives  me a headache...coz i was a bit rabun plus cannot see clearly coz of silau...so, while driving, i really had to focus my eyes to the lights on the road and also the roads' conditions. it was stressful!! damn! n again alhamdulillah....i am fine and still breathing.

aku stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssED!!!

Ada apa dengan warna kulit?

Salahkah kita berkulit gelap?

Tiba2 persoalan ini yang aku ingin ajukan. Bukannya apa, aku baru jek bersembang dengan colleague aku. Isteri kepada sepupunya berkulit gelap. Sudahlah begitu rupa, dia dicerca oleh mertuanya seolah-olah ia adalah satu penghinaan berkulit gelap. Pelik betul aku.. Ada juga manusia yang sebegini rupa.

Maka, teringatlah aku pada satu waktu dulu. Masa tu, aku berkasih dengan jejaka dari Kelantan. Waktu tu aku balik Kelantan (kampung mak) untuk raya haji and also kenduri arwah. Sampai di Kelantan waktu pagi and tengahari tu kitorang terus keluar dengan auntie ke pasar n Kb untuk beli barang2 keperluan kenduri. On the way tu, aku tertido dalam kete. And there was this one part where I suddenly terjaga and heard my mom told my aunt about my bf. Terkojut den! Ye la..den tak pernah bgtau mak den secara direct yang den ada bf. Tapi as a mom kan….she knows her daughter well. Tapi masa aku terjaga tu, aku tak bukak pun biji mata ni. Ye la..sebab nak dengar apa mak aku ckp kat aunty aku. Tiba2 aku dengar statement mak aku “ntah lawa ke idak, hitam ke putih”. Untuk kedua kalinya aku terkejut. Mana taknye…bukannya kerisauan mereka mengenai apakah perkerjaan jejaka aku tu… Instead, they wanna know whether he’s dark or fair.

So, my aunty tanpa perasaan bersalah (sebab aku tengah 'tidurI) pun tanya i, 

- putih ke dia?

- takdelah putih…biasa jek

- kalau tak putih, gelaplah la tu.. ada macam abang anas?  (abg anas is my cousin’s husband)

- taklah sehitam abang anas…

- dia ngan isha? ( Isha is abang sepupuku. Oh yeah..he was driving the car masa tu. Sah2 lah abg isha tersengih2 sbb aku kena soal)

- abg isha putih lagi la…tapi tengah2 antara abg isha n abg anas. (my eyes were rolling)

Tiba2 mak aku nyampuk n kata yang aku ni carilah yang elok skit…putih etc…

I just would like to highlight that the fairness or the skin is utmost important at that moment yeah.

Ada apa dengan kulit cerah atau gelap? Does it mean that kulit cerah bermakna bagus dan sebaliknya kepada kulit gelap?

~sigh~

Sampai Syurga

Ku membenarkan jiwaku
Untuk mencintaimu
Ku persembahkan hidupku
Untuk bersama kamu

Dan diriku untuk kamu
Belum pernah kumerasai begitu

Semua itu telah berlalu
Harapanku palsu
Dan mungkin hari yang satu
Terus ku tertunggu

Di hatiku masih kamu
Belum pernah ku ingin terus memburu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik untuk diriku
Hanya satu
Hanya kamu

Ku membiarkan hatiku
Untuk merinduimu
Ku menghamparkan sakitku
Untuk tatapan kamu

Bersamamu harapanku
Hilang dalam terang yang membutakanku

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu

Dan segala yang ku ada
Ku berikan semua
Untuk dirimu saja

Ku mahu dirimu
Bahagia untuk selamanya
Biar sampai syurga
Aku menunggu cinta darimu
Agar ku sempurna

Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu
Namun aku tetap aku
Yang terbaik tuk diriku

Hanya satu

Aku lemah tanpa kamu
Ku inginmu dampingi ku
Aku fahami aku bukan terbaik
Untuk dirimu

Sampai syurga ku menunggu
Sampai syurga ku cintamu
Hanya kamu

rasa rindu

tiba-tiba saya rindu pada si dia, dia dan dia itu semua. 

kalaulah saya boleh kembalikan waktu-waktu dahulu, mesti saya tak kan sia-sia kan saat yang berharga itu.

apalah khabar si dia bertiga itu.

Yin & Yang

Anda pernah dengar tentang yin and yang?

Daripada pembacaan aku, yin and yang ini menggambarkan pemahaman ancient chinese mengenai how things work. The black (yin) and white (yang) symbolize two energies which somehow represent positivity and negativity. Secara lumrahnya, both could not exist WITHOUT each other coz they do complement each other. {so sweeeet rite? (",) }But then, the concept of yin and yang by the ancient chinese is mostly towards the medical theory.

Hari ni, aku bukannya nak citer pasal yin n yang directly. Cumanya, aku lebih tertarik kepada concept ni dari segi the balance of two opposite things in live and how important to have a balance portion of the good as well as the bad. 

Hidup kita ni tak pernahnya berat sebelah. Tapi, kalau korang rasa hidup korang berat sebelah...aku syorkan korang bermuhasabah diri dan melihat dengan penuh teliti jalur-jalur kehidupan yang telah korang lalui. Allah itu kan Maha Adil...maka Dia tidak pernah memberi kehidupan umatnya dengan dugaan yang berpanjangan mahu pun kegembiraan yang berterusan. Hidup kita sentiasa diselang-selikan dengan kegembiran dan kesedihan. Itu lah yin dan yang. Cuma, depends to the individual, how to perceive it in yourself. To take it, or to leave it - the challenge(s)!

Personally to me, I always make myself to easily forget the dark side. Like I used to say before, aku kan optimistic orangnye...maka aku selalu buang yang keruh dan ambil yang jernih. Bukan bermaksud aku ni in denial...tapi yang buruk itu pastinya aku jadikan sebagai teladan. Yang baik tu pula, aku jadikan pemangkin untuk lebih maju. Tapi selalunya, yang buruk tu aku selalu lupakan jek and being a normal person, i did seomtimes repeat the mistakes...how foolish i am!

So, adakah hidup anda balance secara yin and yang nyer? Tepuk kepala, jawablah sendiri. (",)

my number

last saturday was my 29th birthday. it is the end of 20s.. new number 3 is already peeking its entrance. soon it will be year 2012, and number 3 will be entering my life with half leg.

what's with the number? it is a number and will always remains as a number.

but the meaning behind the number matters most.

it means older...it means nearer to death...it means a new chapter in our book...

it eventually means a lot!

happy birthday to myself~~!!

semoga Allah sentiasa menolong hambaMU ini ke jalan yang terang lagi lurus..

semoga aku celik dan sentiasa celik.

amin...

~

hi

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

bye

Muhasabah

Dear Allah,

Thanks to you and bersyukur ke atas nikmatmu sehingga kini. Lately, kau telah menggembirakan aku. Engkau telah limpahi aku dengan kesenangan dan kesempurnaan yang tak dapat aku gambarkan di sini. Hanya aku, hambamu yang serba kekurangan ini mendapat ihsanmu untuk merasai semua nikmat yang telah Engkau beri.

Ya Allah yang Maha Mengetahui,

Kerana kegembiraan dan kesempurnaan ini lah yang membuatkan aku lebih takut kepadamu. Takut kepada perkara-perkara yang Engkau bakal saji kepadaku kelak. Sesungguhnya, setiap kegembiraan itu pasti ada kedukaan yang mengekori. Lantas, mampukah aku untuk menerima dan menghadapinya?

KepadaMU ya ALLAH,

Aku bermohon, aku bersyukur, aku bersujud, aku melutut dan aku berdoa.....

Semoga apa yang Engkau takdirkan kepada aku, adalah yang sebaik-baik kejadian.

Yang elok datang daripada MU ya ALLAH, dan yang buruk datang daripada aku hambamu yang kerdil...

Ya Rahman Ya Rahim,

Permudahkanlah segalanya untuk aku dan kaummu,

Kerana kepada Engkau lah kami bersujud.

Amin ya rabbal 'alamin...

~ fa 130711 ~

prank king was being pranked

i am so seriously and damn happy!

i have just completed a mission with my students and also unexpectedly my boss,

to prank my colleague - kesh.

he is the prank king, and finally i had successfully done it..

of course with all the PMs...

it was indeed a tiring day that was full with discussions, brainstormings, plans,

phone calls, and strategies.

my brain was so tired...

my day was so full up to an extent that i did not have the time to BE in the office

and also Check my emails and other stuffs for the day...

ohh....it was indeed a full of lagha day....

whatever! i am happy!

E.F.F.O.R.T

EFFORT IS IMPORTANT,

BUT

KNOWING WHERE TO MAKE AN EFFORT

MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!!

kata-kata...fikirkan...

Kita menempiaskan 99% kemarahan walau kepada orang yang paling kita cintai. Dan akibatnya adalah penyesalan. Seringkali penyesalan itu datang dikemudiannya, akibatnya setelah kita menyedari kesalahan kita, semua sudah terlambat...

Kerana itu, jagalah dan sayangilah orang yang dicintai dengan sepenuh hati... Sebelum mengucapkan sesuatu berfikirlah dahulu, apakah kata-kata yang kau ucapkan akan menyakiti orang yang dicintai? Kira merasakan akan menyakitinya, sebaiknya jangan pernah dilafazkan. Kerana semakin besar risiko untuk kehilangan orang yang dicintai.

Jadi berfikirlah, apakah kata-kata yang akan dilafazkan sebanding dengan akibat yang akan diterima??

http://www.iluvislam.com/

i did my first massage!

last saturday, me and my 2 sisters went for a massage at plaza damas...well, it is at the same row with aji don cafe... that was basically my truly ever experience doing whole body massaging. like i did mentioned before this, my shoulder was so hurt. it was like i had a wrong position when sleeping. to one extend, i can't even turn my neck to the left or right. those two days' driving was like much of burden! felt like a robot too...

then, off we went for 1.30 appointment. first impression was good though. the ambiance was truly soothing..but one thing in our head, how la our dear zairyll gonna spend the total 1 hour there? he had his ipad with him.and knowing him, he's the type that gets easily boring....and hungry too. as we have expected, yes, he got boring...so, he went from room to room in that spa, visiting my other sis in another room and also some mini tour of him...especially visiting the gents...(he loves that). finally, he got free biscuits from the spa coz he kept on whining "hungry...hungry..".

the massage process was adventurous, indeed!! had been given a g-string (pakai buang one) hahaha...me n my sis were making jokes about it. not a decent jokes of coz... then, we were basically naked and covered with a blanket. and the massage process started. i had quite a young woman with me and my sis got a younger one. my other sis in other room had her own preferred tukang urut.

oh my.....even though my tukang urut is quite young, but her touches were "menusuk qalbu".. sakit seh!!! rasa macam nak jerit jek...tapi i did not. coz in reality....i had my operation that hurts more. so, this massage was not that hurt if i wanted to compare. from the beginning it started, aku asyik burp jek. banyak betul angin dalam badan aku. in fact, memang. aku memang tak leh makan food yang berbentuk angin ni...nnt cepatlah aku nak merasa muntah2. lols...macam-macam...sampailah nak dekat habis, barulah angin aku kurang. bayangkan lah ek, 45 minit massage mmg asyik burp jek...the last 15 minutes baru ok. macam kakak aku yang kat katil sebelah tu, tak berbunyi lansung. dah habis massage baru lah nak burp burp...tak thrill lansung.hehehe...

tapi yang paling aku tak leh nak lupa is when muka aku juga diurut. that happened at the end of the process. at first aku rasa cam ok jek. coz kalo kita dah selalu buat facial, basically the style urut tu more or less jek. tapi yang aku experience ni, dia macam ada tekan2 at certain spots a t your face. and yang best tu ialah dia ada satu part yang "aligned" struktur muka aku. is that word correct? dlm bahasa pasarnye, muka aku ni macam seolah-olahnye dibetulkan kedudukan dia. wahh...that was superb!!

actually, there were loads of funny and adventurous experiences i had during those 1 hour but let me or let us to keep to ourselves. if you wanna know, then you should try one. best kowt. after this, i wanna try the other type of massage like bali style where you can experience the "krak" "krak" sounds from your body. oh...mesti best.. and since the day i did the massage....i have better days ahead....

^_^

ohh...

arghh....sangat stress....

pagi ni bangun dengan keadaan urat bahu terpeleot.. am in sitting position yang akward... sakit sangat sepanjang diameter bahu kiri ke kanan... i totally need a massage!

petang ni plak ada meeting. cam nak ponteng jek!

keje berlambak walaupun baru naik sem.

next week outstation. it also equals to more additional works in a limited time.

sambil makan cadburry flake dari aussie. nyum nyum..

oh saya stress!!!

~ sang perempuan yang durjana, si dia yang setia ~

tajuk pada kali ini adalah berkaitan perempuan yang suka memainkan perasaan lelaki. bila kita dengar lelaki yang suka memainkan perasaan perempuan, itu adalah sesuatu yang cliche. tetapi jika sebaliknya, ia dirasakan sesuatu yang kurang elok. adakah ia bermakna jika si lelaki yang melakukannya, ia adalah baik sama sekali? ntahlah... macam menjadi satu lumrah kalau sedemikian yang terjadi...

apalah malang nasib si lelaki ini apabila sang perempuan itu suka memainkan perasaan si dia itu. nak dikatakan lelaki itu baik orangnya....memang tidak syak sama sekali. si dia ini mempunyai pekerjaan yang elok-elok. walaupun sedikit tegas orangnya, tetapi si dia ini sangat mencintai sang perempuan tersebut. jarak jauh bukan merupakan satu isu yang dapat menjarakkan kasih sayang antara mereka berdua .... (tetapi itu di pihak si dia)...

sang perempuan itu pula, entah di mana silapnya si dia itu terhadap diri sang perempuan. perkenalan dan percintaan adalah dasar suka sama suka. tiada paksaan sama sekali. sudah pun mengikat tali pertunangan dengan si dia..tetapi ikatan yang suci itu bagaikan tidak membawa kuasa sakti walau sedetik pun. rupa-rupanya, tali pertunangan diikat karena sang perempuan ini ingin menunjukkan kehebatannya kepada sang lelaki yang lain. kononnya, diri sang perempuan ini masih laku dan ada saja orang yang sanggup mahukan dia.

kasihan si dia yang baik itu....

lantas, karena sangat kecewa dipergunakan...walaupun si dia ini sanggup memaafi sang perempuan itu, si dia akhirnya tidak dapat berdolak lagi. dengan tarikh perkahwinan yang semakin menghampiri... kurang 5 bulan.... si dia tekad untuk memutuskan talian yang suci nan itu. bagi si dia, si dia ini ada maruah. tidak selalunya boleh diperkotak-katikkan...

maka, hancur musnahlah impian si dia itu. impian untuk membina masjid, impian untuk membina keluarga....impian untuk terus ke hadapan...

moga-moga...si dia ini bakal ketemu jodoh yang lebih kuat dan utuh... sesungguhnya ALLAH menyediakan perempuan yang baik-baik kepada lelaki yang baik-baik dan sebaliknya.

amin ya rabbal al-amin

~

hua hua hua hua hua....

keje berlambak....tapi otak n tangan tak boleh bertindakbalas....

tiba-tiba esok lak nak gi express vacation for 3 days n 2 nights....

ditambah plak dengan kesihatan yang tidak meyakinkan... baru lepas MC on monday..

missed one class on monday and..... has to replace it anyhow...bila nak replace ek??

hate it when i'm having a flu....doctor ni pun satu...kasik ubat yang menye'leepy'kan...(sleepy)

nah kau....! aku asik nak tido jek skang nih.... kang tak makan ubat, tak baik lansung...

such in dilemma.....

antara malas dan tabah!

rezeki untukku...

~~saya baru sahaja menempah rumah dia tepi pantai~~ taken and revised from

-->kalau tidak mau dilambung ombak, jangan berumah di tepi pantai

ingat lagi aku post this pepatah kat fb a while ago... masa tu aku found out yang aku kena ajar program lain jugak. masa tu core person english dept tanya, bleh@nak ke ajar prog nih? it will starts on october. aku macam tak tau nak cakap apa. why not kan? kalau aku tak nak, aku nak buat apa pun...lagi2 la skang ni, total number of sponsored students are not that high anymore. our governments are not that rich like we used to. so, it means loading will not be that much compared to before. tapi, bila aku say yes to her, aku kena aware that aku takkan dapat cuti end of the year nih....sebabnye, blum pun habis prog australian aku, aku akan start ngan prog jepun. kiranya these two programs will be berselisih at one particular moment. that is why aku post pepatah tu. maknanya aku dah bersedia dengan segala kemungkinan yang aku akan occupied end of this year and chances untuk aku amik cuti agak nipis ye kawan-kawan ~~

sebab tu la aku post pepatah tu....tapi bila kawan2 aku baca, diorang ingat memang aku baru menempah rumah di tepi pantai. riak sungguh kalau aku buat post macam tu...hahhaa...aku lupa yang contextually diaorang tak faham..hanya aku jek la yang faham...

tapi nampaknya, aku tak lagi menempah rumah di tepi pantai....malah aku dah pun beli rumah di dalam laut! believe it or not....lolss..... ;))

secara rasminya, loading and jadual aku dah agak penuh dari end of this may 2o11 till march 2012. what the!!? hahhaha.... this is because, end of may ni lak start lah class untuk prog middle east. bape prog da aku mengajar....tambah lagi bulan september start balik semester utk master.huhuhu...poning den dibueknya....

takpe, aku bersyukur dengan loading aku ni. sekurang-kurangnya aku masih hidup dan mampu untuk laksanakan tanggungjawab aku selepas ini. allah maha mengetahui segala2nya...

syukran jazilan...insyaallah....allah knows the best ^_^

syukran ya allah!

yeay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alhamdulillah...... 4 flat in the hand babeh!!

thanx Allah ;)

p/s: it is all worth it.

tergendala

oh saya sangat mengantuk! dan juga penat..... ;(

(kesinambungan entry yang lepas)

now it's already 3 something in the morning. it is tiring indeed...

just finished up the final reservations....

since last weekend me and my sis are working quite 'poning' for completing hampers' orders. it is supposed to be handed over esok siang. we got orders for 14 hampers (ranging price) and also not to be forgotten, last minute orders (as usual).

but most importantly, i got to wrap some presents!!! yeay! i've been missing to do those like ages. before i am working at the current place, i did work at Memory Lane for quite few months... i really found my true love in doing those wrapping thingy and also presents decorations. playing with ribbons, the designs of wrapping style, the wrappers itself etc. it is so satisfying!

makanya, barulah selesai keje hamba dengan membuat hampers dan juga membalut hadiah2 yang sebanyak 20 lebih itu. hamba sudah penat sungguh...izinkan hamba beradu... ;)

hear ye! hear ye!

Don't be fooled by the calendar.

There are only as many days in the year as you make use of.

One man gets only a week's value out of a year while another man gets a full year's value out of a week.

-Charles Richards

~ mood maahi ve ~ (tak tau apa maksudnye)

good day everyone!

*sound of relieve breathe*

in a way i am relieved.... just gone through a hectic daily schedule. kadang-kadang bila fikir2kan, aku ni keje apa ek? tapi takpe, aku suka bila jadual aku pagi petang siang malam sibuk. aku rasa aku sedang melaksanakan tanggungjawab dan sesuatu yang berguna. kalau aku tak buat apa2, maknanya tendency untuk aku buat ntah apa-apa amat tinggi. well, masa tengah muda ni la aku nak pulun buat keje. so far, alhamdulillah kesibukkan aku ni takdelah sampai ke tahap kena balik kerja lambat. sebabnya, anything yang tak finish, aku bawak balik umah jek. ye la, kat umah pun ada tanggungjawab... aku kan tinggal ngan mak aku jek. so, to accompany her is also a responsible for me.

last few weeks was like a disaster for me. that was really putting me into a high level of test and patience. need to prepare my students for final examinations, then to settle up with marking and marks, to mark papers i.e. assignments and also finals. it was really stressful... the time is never ever enough to finish up all those things. moreover, i am teaching two programs. luckily, their exams were not in the same week. and last week, need to struggle with the last effort for my masters la plak. nasib one of the program tgh study week. a bit relieve though. so, i am struggling the left-overs necessary stuffs like doing the write up for the mini research (assignments) and also not to forget two final papers that eventually held consequently (thursday & friday). and knowing me, i really can't study too early. last minute studies do work for me. basically, i understood the lessons we've learned before...it just that i need to revise those things and put to test in applying them. seriously, the final exams questions were damn high order thinking level. all this while, i've been learning about the Bloom's Taxonomy...and now i am experiencing it. quite fun though! ^_^

my motivation's level was also fluctuating. felt so motivated coz i already obtained A for one of the subjects. so the thursday paper was really motivating to go through. but then, once i encountered the paper......... __________________ (feel free to fill in the blanks). me and my friend were so damn de-motivated. 2 hours and a half is a no-no enough! there were so much theories that we've learned and obviously so much things to write in. it seems that we were still lacking the skills in identifying the necessary answers for the questions. but still, we made it. sebenarnya, we have the answers to all the questions tapi nak organize answers and thoughts in the attempts were quite challenging.

lols....feel like a loser (as usual) ;p

then, we decided to be veeerryy careful with the friday paper. ended up, it was easier and less complicated. the thursday paper consisted of 2-3 pages of questions but the friday paper had only 1 page of question. sabo je lah....

lols again....

masa tengah drive balik umah malam tu... terbayang kat students aku .. all this while they are experiencing that feeling when it comes to exams...and now, i am with them. such a cycle of life. maka, malam tu aku berhasrat untuk menenangkan otakku yang suka berat itu. my finals are over, my students lak will be having their finals the next monday....

tapi...malangnya aku tak dapat untuk berehat weekend tersebut.. nak tau kenapa?

next entry will explains it.

ciao!

isn't it cute?

you've done a good job, mizleo! ^_^

ALHAMDULILLAH....

SAYA HAPPY!

IT'S A GOOD START...

I AM SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW....

COZ TODAY I HAD A GOOD NEWS....

^_^

THANK YOU ALLAH

YOU ARE THE ONE AND ONLY

buhsan

argghh... bos baruku perempuan juge..... = boring!

perjalanan yang terbantut

what a day to start today... (yeah i know it's already 10.37 am..not really morning to push the 'start' button) biasalah aku ni...asal bdk2 cuti sem or nak finals...aku pun bermaharajalela la...datang office lambat, sesuka hati...pastu kena balik lambat sebab nak make sure working hours cukup...hahha...macam2...

dah la semalam malam terbantut nak buat assignment master yang terakhir..semuanya gara-gara rumah neighbour aku dimasuki pencuri. seram giler aku dengar..apatah lagi aku pergi rumah diorang, terus goose bumps..habis berselerak rumah diorang. sampai nak identify apa yang hilang pun susah. me n my mum were so scared coz we are living both of us at home...without a man obviously. not that i'm saying a man is needed at home so that pencuri tak masuk...na-a. ok whatever...

petang kejadian tu lak...at around 6pm, my mum n i went out to go to my sis's house. so, we had our dinner there and came back home at 9pm reached home. my mum realized that my neighbour master bedrooms's light was on. so she thought that they were home. (coz they weren't home to send their daughter back to hostel) so life goes on...we watched tv and suddenly i heard my neighbour came back. then the dad were calling us and informed us that the house were robbed. apa lagi..terkezut la aku n mak aku!! kitorang bajet mesti pencuri tu masuk maghrib time.. if we were at home, definitely we'll listen to our neighbour's door cracking. coz pintu papan rumah dia tu dah rosak. kalau buka pintu, mesti dengar punya. oh yeah, the time they came back was around 10.30pm.

maka, perjalanan assignment aku yang sepatutnya panjang pada malam itu tidak menjadi...aku pun tidur setelah sekerat jalan berjuang...hehehe...

ok, gue mau sambung buat assignment! tata... ^_^

sedih penat

pagi ini aku bangun dengan perasaan yang sangat sedih. in fact, sepanjang aku tidur aku sedih. perasaan tu lansung tak beri aku peluang untuk melupakannya.

tidur aku penat. penat aku tidur.

sabar itu separuh drpd iman mizleo!

sakit j.i.w.a

assignment is NOT FUN at all!

never will be when it comes to campurtangan I.T

pphhbbtt... >:P

1 malaysia

oh yeah...while doing my so-called final examination, i forgot to jot down another sad news of the month. ;(

this morning, me n my mum were shocked with a news that my ex-neighbour whom we called as mami (donno what's the correct spelling is) had just passed away. this mami is an old indian woman who is so close to our family. but then, once we have moved to new area we are not that close and still we do visit each other especially on the hari raya/deepavali.

i couldnt make it to pay for the last visit coz i am still not feeling well this morning. so my mum n sis did go to visit the family. she will be burnt this morning tho. my sis told me that her face is so calm and in peace. ;) then, my sis also told me that the daughter kept on saying that mami and aya had always love me more than the rest... aya pun dah passed away back few months..

i still remember back then, i always go to their house. like always... i have no idea what i did all day long there but i was definitely been treated like a lil princess ever. hehee.. just say out whatever i wanna...then, i will surely get punye lah.

hahahah...aku close to indian families (oh gosh! now i realize it!) not a bad thing though...but it's for real. my other sisters lak close to chinese families. before i was born n when i was still young like 3-4 years old, my family lived with chinese families. there was one time i still remember that my family lived on the upper floor of a house whereby one chinese family lived downstairs. they had a business...fishes and aquarium! hahhaa....ingat lagi, kitorang adik beradik panggil diroang cina ikan..till now..hehehe...

wow...how 1 malaysia we were back then. tapi sekarang, kureng dah...mungkin neighbourhood skrg kureng ke satuan malaysianan nye.... apa-apa pun, it is definitely a memory not to be forgotten. alhamdulillah.... (",)

no pain ~ no gain ~

this is so funny. i guess it's a reality. my age is increasing. so does each and everything.

now i realize that working and studying at the same time is not really a definite decision. lagi-lagi lah kepada manusia macam aku ni. sebabnya, aku ni kan agak optimis. jadi, bagi aku semua itu bisa diatur.

well....undoubtedly the journey is fun. u get to be more knowledgeable and u somehow feel that u are the one who cares for the world...hahhaa...ntah apa-apa ntah explanation aku nih. ok pendek kata, ko akan rasa yang ko ni manusia yang pandai kerana ilmu datang dan pergi 24/7. ye la... you've been teaching and you are learning. what you learned, you teach it. isn't that the most pure and sincere deeds ever!? yeah...pandai is subjective but to me you sort of feel like you are worth it, berguna and responsible. full stop.

but, one thing that i am sure i am still the old mizleo. i luuuuvv last minute job. this is the "funny" part actually. as usual, we had an assignment. it was given from the very beginning of the sem but guess what!? i did it last minute show! so did my frens. i had all the materials with me but it is so hard to finish it up. yup, i've been doing it lil by lil... it's just that you dont feel the urgency to finish up asap...(byk cikadak kan?)

maka, i've been struggling like ttuutt for the past 7 days. i just feel like i need more and more references. ;D sampailah ke waktu pengakhiran nak submit assignment tu. i was not just struggling to finish the assignment there and then. it's more to struggling to juggle between work n study.

it is so irony. to get into class when i'm at work. giving lectures to students and when it comes to giving exercises to them, i fill my time doing some study for my masters. so C.U.T.E ^_^ yeah rite....

akhirnya, setelah penat lelah ku berakhir....pada petang aku submit assignment, aku dah start rasa tak sedap badan. need to fetch mum at my sis place and otw to there, i called her to get ready. my fever started to burn up... trus mlm tu aku meracau dan demam panas... my mum told me that i was just like so freaking up..hehe...thanx mummy! u always be there when i need ya (",)

tu lah...semakin berusia ni, semakin tak leh pressure diri plak..buat keje lebih jek mulalah nak sakit sini sakit sana. my mum used to tell me that she really 'hates' it if i were to fell sick. coz once i am sick, i am so gonna really sick. no play-play one. hehehe...well, allah loves me i guess. sakit itu kan mencuci dosa. alhamdulillah....

k, need to finish up another assignment. which is due tomorrow at 6pm!!

psst..btw, it is {take home final xm} lolss ^_* wish me luck ya! muah!

-

i just deactivated my fb account. such a relieve!!!

aku tak tau kenapa. tp dua tiga menjak ni....aku tak sedap hati.

yang nyata, aku mahu banyak habiskan waktu dengan mendekatikan diri kepada ALLAH.

hanya DIA yang boleh membantu aku.. amin...

insyaallah...hendak seribu daya, tak mahu seribu dalih.

na'a

i just don't like the feeling of having no answer! buat aku tak keruan! arggh!!!

^_^

dear Miss Farrah Ahmad,, thanks for your time,, i greatly appreciate it,, u're the bomb,, drop dead gorgeous,, cute,, fun and all things good a lecturer could become,, just noe that those tears are for your understanding,, definately not because of her,, THANKS AGAIN!~~~ moral value;; be careful when choosing ur friends,, but be even more careful when adding people to ur fren list~~

[khairul izzat: 18/4/2011]

~ smile ~

it's been a while since i last wrote here. tried not to, coz i'll be writing about the late friend.. end of this month which is on the 30th would be his birthday AND ALSO genap 40 days he had left us and the world. -titik-

again...it's about how time flies so fast. tomorrow would be literally my last day of the first semester for my master. technically, the last day would be on the 6th May. yes, it would be the last paper that i am going to take. though tomorrow would be literally the last day, i still could not be happy, yet. still i have THREE assignments to complete. ghee ghee... ;D

but then kan...teringat hari tu bila i had a test. that was the first test ever since i graduated. O.M.G.... what a feeling! soalan was quite easy..but i had the rough time to actually be in the test-scenario. as usual...aku akan rasa cam loser. hahaha...sebabnye i was too conscious of writing the introductory paragraph with a hook...not to forget the thesis...and of coz topic sentences! what dduh! ;D that was all the thing that i had taught my students to practice and now i am in their shoes... well...it's like, what comes around, goes around.. hahaha...

tapi takpe la...yang penting, i truly had fun this time.

p/s: feels like to proceed with a PhD (master pun baru satu sem, tapi dah berangan... ^_^)

insyallah..kalau dipanjangkan umur n dimurahkan rezeki..Allah knows best! amin...

redha

ok.

hari ni genap 7 hari arwah pergi meninggalkan dunia...

masing terkenang-kenang apa yang terjadi pada hari yang sama minggu lepas...

paling tak dapat dilupakan kenangan sabtu lepas...

ia akan sentiasa terpahat di minda dan di hati aku yang kerdil ini...

dan mulai hari ini juga...

aku akan cuba untuk tidak terlalu memikirkannya...

biarlah arwah bahagia di dunia yang sana itu...

aku redha dengan ketentuan ilahi...

dan sebagai hamba allah yang serba kekurangan ini...

aku akan sentiasa iringi segala kenangan bersamanya dengan doa...

allah maha mengetahui...

allah maha berkuasa...

dan

allah maha menyayangi hamba-hambaNYA...

amin.

~ awan mendung ~

oh gosh....sgt terkesan pemergian arwah ishak ni..
aku tak leh lupa kot what had happened...
selalunya aku senang jek nak lupakan benda-benda yang menyedihkan...
tapi tak tau nape this time it is so hard..

mmg betul kata orang...
bila hidup kita tak nampak...
bila dah takde, kita terkenang2...
in fact, we are in one group...
apa2 pun kitorang buat sama...
lagi2 lah part nak prank org...
and segala aktivitilah...

and tadi masa ada event staffs kat tempat aku...
namanya disebut...
alfatihah disedekahkan...buatnya dan arwah2 yang lain...
alhamdulillah aku dapat menahan airmata...
dan mereka pun berhati2 bila menuturkannya...
kerana mereka tahu aku pasti tersentuh...

dan sedarlah kita...
bahawa status sahabat adalah paling mulia..
jika kita bandingkan dengan kekasih hati yang belum pasti akan menjadi suami atau isteri kelak....
kerana seorang sahabat itu tiada nilai dan penggantinya....


ya allah ya tuhanku...
kuatkanlah hati hambamu yang kerdil ini...
sesungguhnya aku insaf...
dan bukakanlah hatiku ini lebih luas dari sebelumnya...

amin..amin..amin ta rabbal alamin...

hikmah, itu pun jika kau sedar.

i am really thankful for whatever that have had happened in front of my eyes. to be honest, i do feel insaf. and i am determine to change bit by bit. all this while, allah has shown me a lot n He has always helped me no matter what. i am so thankful to HIM. HE is the best - no doubt about it.

memang sangat betul bila kita kata - sesuatu yang terjadi itu ada hikmahnya. hikmah itu semua adalah antara kita sedar atau tidak. atau pun you are in denial.

just had happened jgk these few days. had a friend. she is nice or should i say she WAS nice. well...it was all happened because of first love. a USED to be nice girl are totally in love with a boy who is not good at all. well, to me his is not. why? dont even care about it lah! yang nyata, kerana lelaki itu, perempuan itu berubah. tak salah berubah...tapi perempuan itu tak perlu kot ko buang kawan. kau buang kawan lelaki kerana kau dengar kata cinta kau. apa jenis akal kau ada pun aku tak tahu. kita harus sedar, sedalam mana cinta kau pada dia, sahabat tidak sama sekali boleh ditukar ganti. sahabat merupakan individu yang menyokong kau dari depan dan belakang. sekali kau melukakan hati sahabat, kesannya selama-lamanya. you might be forgiven but SURELY not forgotten.

tapi, allah itu maha berkuasa. akhirnya yang kau cinta pergi meninggalkan engkau dan yang engkau buang jua pergi meninggalkan kau selamanya. yang menyedihkan, sahabat itu pergi dengan rasa kecewa pada apa yang engkau buat padanya. tergamak kau melakukan semua itu. pada aku dan sahabat lain, kami betul2 sangsi dengan akal engkau.

sekarang, kau dah tiada siapa pun. kalau ini tidak dapat menyedarkan kau, maka aku kira kau pergilah jauh2 dari kami. tiada gunanya lagi. pergilah engkau melutut pada cinta kau yang satu itu..kerana kau telah aku lihat, bertukar sama seperti cinta kau itu = tidak berhati, perasaan dan berakal. kau memang secocok!

kami menyayangi dan merinduimu... ;(

ya allah tuhanku...

sangat berat rasanya menanggung kesedihan dan ketakutan...

aku telah hilang dua sahabat dalam masa 20 hari..

yang terbaru ini amat sangatku rasai...

sehinggakan aku tak dapat lagi mengeringkan airmata ku ini...

dua hari aku berulang-alik ke hospital..dan dua hari itu merupakan hari-hari terakhir arwah...

allah betul2 memakbulkan doa aku...

allah telah mempermudahkan perjalanan arwah..

arwah agak terbeban dengan dugaan yang dihadapi..

hari terakhir aku, akid, mas dan afiq bersama arwah adalah pada tengahari sabtu..

arwah kelihatan sihat jika dibandingkan dengan hari-hari sebelumnya...

dlm banyak2 hari, hari itu lah satu2nya hari arwah bercakap dengan banyaknya...

malah arwah juga duduk, baring, dan stretching bergilir ganti...

tidak seperti hari2 lain di mana arwah hanya mampu baring dan menanggung kesakitan..

kami bersembang seperti waktu2 arwah sihat...cuma bezanya, arwah di katil hospital dan fizikal arwah tidak seperti dulu....

allah menghidapi cancer lymphoma...

sesuatu yang amat jarang bagi penduduk malaysia...

arwah juga telah didiagnose setahun yang lepas...tetapi berita itu berlalu pergi begitu sahaja...

tiba2 ia datang kembali dan kali ini terus merampas arwah dari dunia ini..

kesian arwah, pada 31 disember yang lepas, mamanya telah pulang ke rahmatullah....

arwah amat rapat dengan mamanya...malah amat menyayangi mamanya...

tidak pernah kami dengar tentang ahli keluarga yang lain selain mama...

pemergian mama amat mengujinya...

tak lama selepas mama pergi, arwah menanggung pula penyakitnya...

terlalu banyak kenangan kami bersama arwah...

malah hampir setiap aktiviti, arwah pasti ada bersama-sama...

apatah lagi aku ini selalu digandingkan bersama arwah untuk mengacara majlis...

selepas ini, pasti ada kerusi kosong...

pasti tiada siapa lagi yang akan menyampuk..

tiada siapa lagi yang akan datang dengan idea2 yang bernas malah tak masuk akal...

tiada siapa lagi yang akan menyanyi...

tiada siapa lagi yang datang bersama kaca mata hitam....

ya allah ya tuhanku....

terlalu perit untuk aku terima ini...

sesungguhnya Engkau maha mengetahui ya tuhanku...

hambamu yang kerdil memohon padamu...

ko tempatkanlah arwah di kalangan orang2 yang beriman...

ko sayangilah arwah dan hapuskan lah dosa-dosa arwah di atas muka bumi ini...

sesungguhnya arwah seorang yang selalu menceriakan hari-hari orang di sekelilingnya...

arwah Mohd Ishak Mustapha Kamal....kami menyayangimu....

30 April 1984 - 20 March 2011

dugaanmu, hikmahmu, insafku.

i pity ishak.

ya allah yang maha mengetahui maha mendengar,

aku mohon padaMU untuk mempermudahkan perjalanan ishak..

sesungguhnya berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul..

aku redha jika ini ujian yang KAU beri padanya, maka aku kira ada hikmah di sebaliknya..

ya allah ya tuhanku,

panjangkan lah umur nya...limpahkan lah kurnia rezeki buatnya..

aku memohon padamu agar dia sembuh dari dugaanmu.

sesungguhnya dia amat tabah tapi tak tertanggung dek seksaan duniawi yang kau beri padanya..

allahu akbar..

besar sungguh petunjukmu...

luas sungguh nikmatmu...

silaturrahim antara kami lebih kuat lebih utuh..

insaf kami lebih terkesan...

kerana apa yang kau uji padanya,

membuka mata orang di sekelilingnya..

ya allah maha penyayang..

aku mohon padamu sekali lagi..

panjangkanlah umurnya dan ubati lah dia dari penyakitnya..

sesungguhnya hikmah yang diberi, harapannya biarlah yang menyinari..

amin ya rabbal alamin......

excited~excited~excited~excited~excited!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SOOOOO EXCITED! but i am also in dilemma!

what should i do?? should i or shouldn't i?

Oh god help me.....

Tu lah... kan bagus kalau ari tu kau berdisplin.. Sekarang ni, agak dah terlambat.. Cis!

What a waste missyleo... Shame on you!

Tapi takpe kot. I never expected it would turn out to be THAT thing..

Na-ah.. Naa...

Hehehehhehehe....

YEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~

^_^

emosi

oh tidakkkkk.....

musim emosi datang kembali! mengapakah dan apakah?

lately ni, aku suka emo2. tak tau napa..mungkin stress keje, blaja n tanggungjawab kot. penat memang penat. kalau pasal tu, tak yah lah nak think twice. asal balik keje n if takde class masa malam, aku memang dah knock out dah. tiap2 hari bawak balik beg berisi kerja2 sekolah students dan diri sendiri, tapi tak tersentuh lansung. buat penat bawak masuk rumah jek.

this condition is really affecting me. i don't know what to do with myself...i dont have much ideas and solutions to this problem. and i wonder when it will stop.

aku emo psl banyak benda. dari sekecil2 hal hingga sebesar2 perkara. mungkin hormon berubah kot..maklumlah, semakin muda usia nih. dan apabila aku mengalami keadaan emo2 ni, aku sedar semuanya. at one time, i'll be regretting and questioning my sudden windy emo. but then, after it has happened, aku kembali sedar...but tak leh buat apa dah..nasi dah menjadi bubur.

dan sekarang ni, aku di tahap agak kemuncak utk mempunyai unstable emotion. sebabnye mudah. kerana --- perkara itu. perkara itu telah membuat aku kembali kepada satu kejadian. sepanjang aku tamat pengajian di universiti, aku berazam untuk melawan perkara yang berkaitan dengan seadanya.

mula2 aku gagal beberapa kali. aku suram. aku sedih.

tapi, akhirnya aku menanamkan keazaman yang lebih mendalam. dan alhamdulillah aku menuju kejayaan. tapi, di sebalik kejayaan yang mendatang, perkara itu pula datang menjenguk. aku rimas tapi aku ingin tahu. semuanya kerana perkara itu.

betul kata orang2 tua - berakit rakit ke hulu, berenang renang ke tepian, bersakit2 dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian... sekarang, aku sedang bersakit2...dan ia amat menyakiti.

it is fast

wow! it has only been 2 months of 2011 but i felt like 2 years have gone. seriously time passes so fast! i realized pun sebab hari tu i had academic staff meeting and there was a review of events held in january and february. there were actually quite a lot and partly i did involve in the events but i thought it was like looong time ago.

so far, my life has its ups and down. quite normal and yet so challenging. i discovered new things and i could say that i'm learning new stuffs from day to day. though there are moments that are repeating but honestly, it is not the same repetition. i am enjoying every bit of it but sometimes i admitted that i lose control of it.

getting older is also means getting emotional. apart from growing the maturity, i agree that there are loads of sacrifices need to be dealt with in that process. it is definitely not an enjoyable thing on earth to do but it is among the common process that we have to go through. and it is also not about the results but most importantly the journey that we have GONE through.

Bila fikir balik, kadang-kadang aku bersyukur... kadang-kadang aku mengeluh dan tak kurang juga aku menyesali kejadiaannya. alangkah baiknya kalau waktu boleh berputar kembali. setiap kekurangan pasti dapat dibaik pulih.

tapi, kadang-kadang aku bahagia... kadang-kadang aku bangga diri... kadang-kadang aku rasa "i'm in control"!

this 29 years (soon to be) i've been living in this world have been a tremendous journey. it is indeed like a roller coaster...where at some point, you'll scream...at another point, you'll just love the sights. and at the end of a time, you'll feel like vomiting. and that's my life! all in all, you'll be grateful for the opportunities on riding it and the experiences are just useful for your future.

the truth is :

i need a career change!! i wanna do what i like the most.. aku nak tukar angin!

(noktah)

susah

ok.

aku sangat susah untuk meluahkan perasaan aku sekarang nih.

bila tak diluah, rasa senak jiwa memberontak.

bila nak diluah, tak tersusun kata-kata untuk luahan.

why?

semakin hari semakin susah...

selepas satu, satu lagi pergi...

selepas arwah bibi, arwah jay pula menyusul...

selepas telinga kiri pergi, telinga kanan pula...

takde siapa yang boleh aku mengadu lagi...

aku?

ntah bila allah ingin menjemput...

ntah sapa allah mahu menjemput dulu...

jadi?

.............

innalillahirojiun

ok.

i am seriously speechless.

i am done with crying and i can't cry anymore.

instead, i am still shocked.

my good friend - Wan Ahmad Fadzil or better known as Jay, had just passed away like 20-30 minutes ago.

thank god coz i wanna go online.

i saw his pic was tagged with condolences sentences.

i was confused.

arwah in fact had just came back to malaysia and on his way back to terengganu- his hometown.

i was told that he was just had an accident. ya allah....with his wife and two kids in the car. both of the daughters are still young and the youngest was only about 4 months.

i could not imagine what was the accident like when allah took away him from this world.

from what i asked, he was in coma but not for too long.

innalillahirojiun....ya allah, semoga roh arwah dicucuri rahmat dan al-fatihah.

p/s: he had been a great dear friend of mine and we did share a lot of thoughts together.

lam alif zal ya

aku dikelilingi dengan orang-orang yang sakit. ada yang sakit biasa-biasa...dan tak kurang juga dengan sakit yang luar biasa. bukan itu sahaja, malah aku pun sakit dan berpenyakit.

aku sakit M.A.L.A.S !!!!

tuhan sahaja tahu betapa malasnye aku sekarang ni. semua kerja aku tergendala. it is not good at all. n yes i know that. but still i'm not moving on.

like at this moment. i have an assignment that i should submit already. but i'm not finished with it. oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

missyleo. kenapa ko malas ni huh!?

wake up gurl!!!!!

qalbi

~TERSENTUH~

pengalaman baru -best!

oh penatnye hidup di kala ini....

sebenarnya, aku ada banyak benda nak share....tapi aku sangat takde masa nak menulis.
nantilah aku cari waktu yang seswei untuk mengarang karangan...

by the way, petang tadi aku pi pearson longman... ala, publisher buku yang dikenali ramai tu..
last week, elt sales manager dia called aku. dia invite aku join focus group discussion yang diorang organize...lebih tepat, diorang ni nak publish new book about ielts. so, during the focus group discussion tu, a prototype will be given, and kitorang akan comment and highlight lah benda2 yang relevant dengan prototype tu mainly on its contents, layout, structure, appropriacy in terms of language and level and macam2 lagi lah...

discussion started at 5.30pm and it was facilitated by the regional sales manager/director - Steve King from the Japan headquarter. it lasts till 7pm and all i could say, it was fun and fruitful. best btul bila ada professional academic sharing and discussion moment. tup tup, dah pukul 7pm. participants ada 8 orang semuanya. 3 including me from the same place. and another 5 from other 4 institutions. steve said our group is so far the best focus group he has ever had. it went well and steve managed to finish it up on the dot.

the best part was.....as a token of appreciation, pearson longman gave us approx USD50 that is RM150. yeah...just for 1hour and a half. well...our contributions in ideas and thoughts are really much appreciated. yeehaa!! ^_^

so, based on our opinion, the writer for that particular book will consider our sharing thoughts of experiences and knowledge to actually improvising the books. from it, they will be able to market the book and suits the market very very well....

alhamdulillah....rezeki datang tanpa kita perasan. amin

gapo dio!?

"Selamat pagi cikgu!"

tapi, nampaknya sekarang - "Selamat malam cikgu!"

oh my gosh... life has been very hectic. pagi malam dengan buku. penatnya tak terkira.
dugaan betul hidup aku kali ini. baru jek seminggu mengharungi liku-liku hidup menjadi pelajar, tapi rasanya dah berat dah bahu ni memikul kerja sekolah.

allah itu maha mengetahui...syukur alhamdulillah...he has always been there helping me out. memang aku tak tau at the first place. but then, bila pikir lama-lama, barulah everything makes sense.

i do really need multivitamin. i feel restless and hopeless to think about the whole semester.

wish me loads of lucks ^_*

luv.